Episode 62: Missed Opportunities in Leadership

…and Opportunities Taken

I’ve had a handful of good managers in my career. I consider them good when a manager trusts me to get my work done, cares about me, doesn’t micro-manage, and does their best to advocate for me and provide the resources I need to do my job.

What’s missing here?

Mentorship.

Early in my career, I was offered an incredible opportunity to be a branch administrator in Washington DC as the branch transitioned to a new owner, a company based in Vancouver, Canada. It was probably beyond my experience and skills, but the branch manager interviewed me (in a coffee shop, one of the best interviews of my life), hired me on the spot, and generally trusted that I could figure out my role and be successful. In other words, he trusted his instinct that I could make him look good to the new owners.

I did.

He didn’t micromanage me. He gave me full authority to make decisions, while making sure I knew I could talk to him and ask for guidance at any time. Over the course of about 10 weeks, I negotiated a lease for new, raw office space, 3x larger than the space we were in, worked with an architect to design the interior (layout/offices, paint, carpet, etc.), negotiated data and phone system installation, and even purchased artwork.

When the time came, I organized, coordinated, and managed the move of our employees and the contents of our tiny office space into our new location in about 24 hours, losing only about 4 hours of productivity for those employees. I was 24. It felt like a huge accomplishment, especially because I had never done anything like that before.

After I set up and trained staff in A/R, A/P, payroll, benefits, and basic processes and procedures of the new company, I settled into my position… and promptly got bored. Six months after the move, my boss saw the minor mistakes I was making, called me into his office, and asked me about them. I honestly didn’t know how to answer him, so I got defensive. He figured it out before I did, thank goodness, and within a few weeks, he hired a new branch administrator and transitioned me into a junior consultant role.

I enjoyed every client site I worked on, moved around enough to keep me interested and constantly learning, and was appreciated and valued by our clients. But I still hadn’t figured out exactly what my unique skill sets were, so I simply moved between tasks, learned a lot about everything I touched, and moved on again.

I look back now and think:

Thank goodness I had a boss who basically understood me, so I could learn and grow in that position. What incredible opportunities I had, despite my age and lack of experience!

I also think:

What if my boss had a tool back then so he could coach me, mentor me, to guide me in the direction of applying my unique strengths to a specific role? I made him look good because he gave me the tools and challenges I needed to succeed, but how much better could I have made him look if he had the ability to see into my future and guide me to my best self, using my natural talents?

I’m not one to look back with regret; I look back because I love to learn lessons from my experiences, and apply them to help others. So when I look back at that time, I am grateful for what Melvin Sassoon did so early in my career. He trusted me and saw skills in me that I didn’t know were there. I also look back and think about what we both could have done differently to have different, even better outcomes.

What if you had a tool that would transform your relationship with your employees from manager to mentor or coach?

What if you had a language to speak that would help your employees understand their role and value in your company, and would help them understand their own strengths and how to apply them to be more productive and happier at work?

You can even begin with selfish intentions: When your employees are successful, productive, effective and happy, they can make YOU look REALLY good.

The end result is that you will find more satisfaction in your relationships at work, even if you don’t start with that intention. It would be almost impossible for you not to improve on your success, leaning into that style of management.

Here’s the good news:

There are tools to help you mentor and coach your employees to bring their best selves, their greatest talents to work. The difference in the tools is simply how you manage to apply them to improve communication.

I could have focused my attention on a number of assessments and tools to help me in my communication coaching; StrengthsFinders is simply my tool of choice because I find the concept to be so positive and easily applied to the workplace.

Whatever assessment you use - whatever tool you use to help uncover the natural talents of your employees, take the time to coach them to apply those talents to their role in your organization. Think about your own career, and how it could have benefited from having a manager who truly understood your strengths, and could have helped guide you to lean into them and use them in every aspect of your life.

Those strengths don’t always show up in positive ways, especially in relationships with people who have very similar strengths, and those who are on the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s as if you’re speaking different languages when interacting with people with different strengths.

When you coach with a tool like StrengthsFinders, you can help your employee understand every aspect of their talents, and how those can be negatively perceived by the people around them. In time, that employee will start to be more self-reflective, and will be able to adjust how they present their strengths to others, basically finding ways to get out of their own way (their heads), and move past obstacles. And when they truly understand their natural talents, their career will gravitate to roles that they will find great success and satisfaction.

At that early stage in my career, if my boss had access to a tool like StrengthsFinders, and understood how to use it, it’s likely he would have steered me in the direction of sales for the company. I love people, and I love to share information and tools that help people improve their daily lives. My natural, unique talents would have made me an excellent sales person in that industry, with just a bit of training and guidance.

Who really knows what might have happened?

I could fill my days with alternative futures based on those “what if” questions. What matters at this point is that I now understand how my natural strengths have helped make me successful in the past, and how they’ve created obstacles when I haven’t known how I was being perceived by the people around me. I also know how I can apply them to improve my future, and the lives of the people I have the honor of working with.

If you had a tool to help transform your relationship with your employees from manager to coach, would you use it?

Think about it this way:

When you coach your employees, rather than manage them, when you understand their strengths and what motivates them, your relationship improves. If you can coach your employees by helping them apply their strengths to their role, and encourage them by acknowledging their work, they can make you look really good.

And when you micromanage your employees, undermine their confidence and trust, withhold information, and allow whatever insecurities you have to impact your behavior, knowing you’re somehow threatened by their competence, you make it absolutely impossible for them to make you look good. You make it absolutely impossible for them to do their job well, and to make you look good.

Whatever tool you use, make sure you understand your employee’s strengths and what motivates them, and help them apply their strengths so they succeed. Because when your employees are empowered to learn, grow, and improve, they’ll make YOU look GOOD.


Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?

IMG_8919.JPG

Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon

Episode 61: Grief Isn't the End, It Can Be a Beginning

Shortly after the loss of her son, she went right back to work as a news anchor, a very public life. But shortly after her return, she realized her heart just wasn’t in it anymore. She felt as if she had just been going through the motions, mostly because that was what was expected of her.

Episode 60: No Such Thing as Coincidence

When We Connect the Dots, We See Purpose in Life and Struggle

No Such Thing as Coincidence-2.png

Carol Campos doesn't believe in coincidence, but that doesn’t mean she knows exactly why anything actually happens.

But when she looks back at each decision she made, each relationship she spent time nurturing, and each of the choices she made, she can see all of the connections among those choices, bringing her to where she is right now.

From the last couple of years of high school, until she reached a point in a successful career, she followed the path she believed was expected of her. Though she switched gears periodically, and took different steps, she continued to move forward, almost stumbling through her career without real thought or intention.

And then - everything changed. Carol realized she was not only dissatisfied in her career, she didn’t really know how she defined success for herself. So she left her cozy career and took time to really dig into what she wanted, how she defines success, and what she wanted to do next.

So many of us are in transition right now, and with the current workforce shifts, the world of career and professionalism looks completely different from how it looked just five years ago. When we spend time looking back at our patterns, and how each of our choices connects to lead us forward, those transitions become smoother and more comfortable.

Here are a few references from our conversation:

E-Squared, by Pam Grout

Embracing Life Transitions As the New Normal, Podcast episode about transition, restaurant analogy

Elizabeth Gilbert: Flight of the Hummingbird The Curiosity Driven Life, Elizabeth Gilbert



Carol has worked in the corporate world for over 20 years, most recently in a leadership role at a Fortune 10 company. For years she felt that she was meant to do something different, but could never quite put her finger on what that was. For the last 7 years she has immersed herself in classes and workshops, learning about energy healing, meditation, as well as numerous spiritual and holistic topics. In early 2018 she left her corporate job and made the leap into the unknown. What she discovered was that she could combine her extensive business experience with these new, soul-aligned interests. Thus, The Divine Breadcrumb was born!

Carol is a certified Reiki practitioner as well as a certified Angel Card Reader. Most recently she was certified by the HeartMath Institute as an Add-Heart Facilitator, teaching a technique used by thousands of people, including Navy Seals, to achieve heart coherence — a state which greatly improves emotional and physical health.

Carol is passionate about traveling, learning about new cultures and helping people on their own path. She holds a B.A. in Communications from Hofstra University. Carol resides in Massachusetts with her rambunctious rescue cats, Petey and Emmett.

Episode 59: Old Stories Create New Pathways

What Stories From Your Past Still Color Your Present?

Old Stories Can Create New Pathways.png

His mother went to answer the door while his family sat at the supper table. Chris heard a man's voice, and watched as his father went into the living room. A demonstration and 40 minutes of answers to every objection later, that Electrolux vacuum salesman in the brown polyester suit with bad breath left with an order for a $3,000 machine.

Chris was 10 years old, and his image of a salesman was set for decades. Not only did his family have a vacuum cleaner they didn't need and couldn't afford, his parents bickered over it for months afterward.

Fast forward to Chris as a young adult with entrepreneurial aspirations and the realization that he'd have to get more comfortable with sales if he was going to be successful. He hired a coach who was able to peel back the layers of Chris's experience to find that vacuum salesman and his impact on how Chris saw the word "salesman."


80s Style: Friendship Pins

80s Style: Friendship Pins

In the beginning of our conversation, Chris mentioned his love for heavy metal music, particularly in the late 80s and early 90s. He spoke about wearing his Metallica jean jacket to church, and about having the opportunity to play guitar with a band on Sunday evenings in the same church, and blowing away the senior women with the sound. We made a few references during that part of our conversation, one to a scene in Back to the Future with Michael J. Fox, and another about my friend Ranjith Abraham, and his musical projects, Miles Apart.


Connect with Chris on LinkedIn, and check out his book, It’s Time to Sell. Learn more about Chris and his gifted approach to sales and leadership by visiting his website.

Episode 58: When a Decision Looks Spontaneous, But Isn't - Nicholas Rupp

A Story of Romance and Pivot Points

"Are we going to talk about this?!"

Michael was at a loss when Nicholas handed him the clipboard with a marriage application attached and said: "Here. Fill this out," and then disappeared.

What he didn't know was that Nicholas was making a quick trip home to get their passports, assuming they would need two forms of ID to get the marriage license.

It was when he ran back into the county clerk's office with passports in hand, that Michael asked him what he was up to.

"Michael, I was going to do this on Christmas, but the risk of losing the opportunity is too great. Will you marry me?" And he showed him the rings.

You never know what part of an adventure like that will stick in your memory, or what the pivot point lessons really are until months, or even years later.

Nicholas realized around their fourth anniversary, that if he didn't write down the story, capturing as many details as he could, that he would start to forget those important moments. So he wrote out the story in great detail and posted it on Facebook for his closest friends and family to see. One of those friends was so inspired by the post that she asked him if he would please make it public so she could share it. He did. And it went viral.

One interesting aspect in this story is how Nicholas and Michael choose to remember and celebrate the occasion. Some of their friends who were married that same day, or just a few days later, remember it as being rushed. Some of those people have some regret about the spontaneity of the decision. But not Nicholas and Michael. The entire story is part of their romance, and though their family didn’t get to participate on the day of their wedding, and the couple has some disappointment with that, they remember it with love and humor, knowing the story is unique and a big part of who they are as a couple.


Connect with Nicholas on LinkedIn to learn more about his professional life and career.


TobyinSnow.JPG

Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?

Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon

Can You Bring Your Whole Self to Work?

Stories About Finding Your Fit

An introvert. That's how Jeff sees himself, despite being a successful salesman, and that's part of the reason his first career path led him to  a biology degree and a research position.

He realized at some point that spending all day every day in a lab, mostly by himself, didn't bring him as much satisfaction and stimulation as he thought it would. His colleague found her outlet as a bartender on weekends, and he realized he wanted to do something similar to bring some social activity into his life. Thanks to a few introductions from friends, he found himself training and then working as a DJ on weekends.

Not only did he enjoy the opportunity to get out on weekends, he liked the extra cash he earned. On top of that, he realized that despite his introverted tendencies, he was really good at engaging an audience and getting people to step out of their comfort zones.

After a few years of his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde life of research scientist by day, wild DJ at night, he started to feel that sense of dissatisfaction again. He realized he felt split, like he was living two completely different, separate lives, and he wanted to be able to bring his whole self to his whole life. That's when he started to explore other options in his field, and found a great fit as a salesman.

How many of us have started down a career path with interest and passion, only to realize the choices we made might not really satisfy all aspects of our character?

The question, then, is how to transition into something that's a good fit?

Jeff Bissen shares his story here, in the hopes that others will see themselves in his story, and make the necessary changes so they, too, can find satisfaction by finding a fit that allows them to bring their whole selves to work.


Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?

Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon


Share Your Story on Your Terms

How Do You Tell Your Story Without Being Defined By It?

Share Your Story on Your Own Terms.png

It’s not uncommon for people who have disabilities, or dealt with tragedies and other life-altering experiences to want to move forward and just “be normal.” Children who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling are often heard expressing this feeling of not wanting to be known as “the kid who lost his mom.” Many times in life, we see our weirdness through the eyes of the people around us, not really knowing that most everyone feels weird or different, or somehow not “normal” at some point in their lives.

Brian Schulman was sure he was weird, sure he didn’t fit in as he was growing up, partly because he had been born premature and had related health issues, and partly because he was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome in his pre-teen years. He definitely stood out with his tics and quirky physical movements, and being bullied didn’t help at all with his internal messages of being different.

The beauty, though, of each of us having those negative experiences is that they help us make a choice between adding to the sadness and aggressiveness in the world around you, or making a positive difference so those around you never feel like you did. That’s how Brian chose to live his life. He intentionally became a person others wanted to be around, he made sure the people around him felt good about themselves, felt like they could BE themselves.

Learn more about Brian, and connect with him on LinkedIn and Facebook!


Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?

Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon