Episode 118: What is Self-Actualization, and How Does Your Environment Impact It?
Episode 86 of this podcast was one that keeps coming back to me. I've had many interviews since then, and have read books and articles that seem to form connections back to that episode with Mark Bowden, TEDx Toronto speaker, author, and body language expert.
Your Authenticity Isn't For Others to Define
Episode 86 of this podcast was one that keeps coming back to me. I've had many interviews since then, and have read books and articles that seem to form connections back to that episode with Mark Bowden, TEDx Toronto speaker, author, and body language expert.
In Episode 104 with Rajkumari Neogy, we spoke about epigenetic study and the impact of trauma on our physical and mental health. During the conversation, Rajkumari introduced me to two scientists who have studied this and written many books and articles on that topic. Each time I would read an article by one of those scientists, I would think back on the conversation with Mark Bowden about the importance of being inauthentic, and how we define authentic for ourselves and others.
I had the opportunity to interview the author of The Change Code, Monica Bourgeau a few weeks ago, and again, connections started firing in my head between her description and application of Spiral Dynamics and my conversations with Mark and Rajkumari.
For the first time in 118 episodes, I reached out to interview someone a second time, and Mark generously and graciously agreed.
The conversation didn't go at all the way I had anticipated - which happens frequently, and I couldn't be more pleased with how it shifted between our original conversation about authenticity and a completely new conversation about self-actualization and the role our environment plays in it.
What I enjoyed most about this conversation was the reasoning and discussion, some parts devil's advocate and some parts clear agreement. I wouldn't say I developed much clarity about the topics, but I will say the time was well spent in giving me more to think about.
The biggest question I'd like to find an answer for is how to apply what I've learned through all of these connections to help improve relationships and reduce the polarization our global community is dealing with right now.
I welcome comments on my website, or send me an email at sarahelkins@elkinsconsulting.com.
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"The choice of Sarah Elkins (as our conference keynote) was inspired. Her emphasis that we need to think more carefully as advocates about how we are perceived, that we need to demonstrate our values authentically (and bravely) so as to build trust, was perhaps more important than all the specific storytelling tools discussed.”
Sarah is a storyteller, communication coach, author and professional musician. Her keynotes and workshops are entertaining and engaging, because she uses storytelling as the foundation of her work. Her podcast, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will was named in the top 50 in 2019 in the category of emotional intelligence on player.FM, and her book of the same title will be available in May, 2020.
Episode 116: The Realities of Improving Our Polarized Communities
In 2018, Monica Bourgeau felt compelled to write a book that would help people come to a basic understanding about our common, “wicked” problems, and how to help create solutions. Her October, 2014 article on Huffington Post, “7 Ways You Can Change the World”, continues to grab views, and she was hearing from readers that the article made a big difference for them.
Stories that Offer Hope For Our Polarized Communities Through Understanding and Non-Judgment
Monica Bourgeau, Author of The Change Code
In 2018, Monica Bourgeau felt compelled to write a book that would help people come to a basic understanding about our common, “wicked” problems, and how to help create solutions. Her October, 2014 article on Huffington Post, “7 Ways You Can Change the World”, continues to grab views, and she was hearing from readers that the article made a big difference for them.
Her original plan was to expand on that article, share stories about each of those seven ideas, and make the book not just inspiring, but actionable.
Though her vision didn’t falter, it did shift as she started writing the book. She was introduced to the theory of Spiral Dynamics, pioneered by psychologist Dr. Clare W. Graves, when an announcement was made following a church service as she sat with her daughter one Sunday. There would be a six-week workshop on the theory, which focuses on how our communities develop in terms of self-actualization and community values, and offers a visual representation of why those matter.
Monica was immediately intrigued, though she had never heard of Spiral Dynamics before. She signed up to participate and committed to attending every session, despite her already hectic schedule between work and home life.
Through that program, she started to piece together the relationship between her original article and the concepts of Spiral Dynamics. Over the next few months, she fell deeply into research, interviews, and storytelling around the theory - but what was most important to her was uncovering how to apply it to bring people together.
The key to the theory isn't necessarily to understand each of the waves Dr. Graves describes, but to grow into a sense of non-judgment when considering where people are on that spectrum of self-actualization, values, and motivation in order to connect and collaborate.
It's really about how to adjust our conversations to consider the people in front of us and the environment that shaped them. This is the only way to develop trust and to develop solutions for the complex, extremely polarizing issues facing our global population.
Monica’s book, The Change Code, was recommended to me by my dear friend Andy Hedges, who happens to live near Sydney, Australia, and whom I’ve never actually met in person. We connected on LinkedIn years ago and became close friends despite the distance. When he suggested I read the book, I didn’t hesitate, and I’m so glad for that recommendation. As I read it, I realized Monica was on to something, and I reached out to ask her to be a guest on my podcast as soon as I finished reading the book.
As small-world as it gets, I looked her up on LinkedIn to find that she grew up here in Montana, and that we have quite a few mutual local connections. As we started to chat for this episode, we realized we had even more in common, including an overlap in Fort Collins, Colorado in the early 90s.