Episode 176: Her Brave Journey, a Book by Swati Singh
Based on a collection of true stories from a variety of women, Swati Singh's Her Brave Journey is a fictional tale, bringing them together as if one woman experienced it, offering a deeper exploration of how each experience shapes a woman living through abuse, emotional transformation, and eventually discovering her strength and resilience.
Our Stories Shift with Each Telling of Them
Based on a collection of true stories from a variety of women, Swati Singh's Her Brave Journey is a fictional tale, bringing them together as if one woman experienced it, offering a deeper exploration of how each experience shapes a woman living through abuse, emotional transformation, and eventually discovering her strength and resilience.
“Each of us looks at the world through our own cultural lens, molded by parenting, education, economics, politics, religion, and personality. This is a book of profound hardship buffeted by the drive to survive, a rocky journey to a destination of kindness, generosity, and forgiveness… met with success by a brave, intelligent, and strong woman. A hero of her time.” ~ Editors of Her Brave Journey
It's not uncommon for an author to take real life experiences and build a book around them, but to do it in an authentic, powerful voice is uncommon.
Our conversation began as most episodes do, when Swati answered my question about something people might not know about her, something not on her bio or LinkedIn profile. Her answer was unique and somewhat surprising: She worked for her local police department when she was in high school.
Having that experience brought her a completely different perspective and shaped how she saw herself and her place in the world.
Swati mentioned that when she looks back at who she was at that time, it surprises her that she got the job - and even more that she would have even applied for it. She was shy, quiet, and avoided socializing outside of her normal routine.
"I think I underestimate my younger self sometimes."
The conversation took a surprising turn at that, with a deep discussion about how we see our younger selves, and the warped perspective we have of ourselves when we look back.
People who knew us in our younger years would most likely look at us now and say: "Oh yes, you always had this in you, you just didn't know it yet."
To learn more about Swati Singh and to order her book, visit her website, follow her on Instagram, and connect with her on LinkedIn.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home. The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 156: Our Experiences Create Our Identity, How We Talk About Them Shapes Our Future
Anna Cley was an outstanding student. And then she was a rocket scientist... and then she became an opera singer...
Her stepfather gave her the nudge she needed when she was miserable in her job as a scientist with the French Centre National D’Etudes Spatiales (CNES), France's equivalent to the USA's NASA. He told her that she could do anything she really wanted to do, he gave her the permission she needed to completely switch gears and follow her heart.
Stories of Pivot Points in Life
Anna Cley was an outstanding student. And then she was a rocket scientist... and then she became an opera singer...
Her stepfather gave her the nudge she needed when she was miserable in her job as a scientist with the French Centre National D’Etudes Spatiales (CNES), France's equivalent to the USA's NASA. He told her that she could do anything she really wanted to do, he gave her the permission she needed to completely switch gears and follow her heart.
The idea of being a rocket scientist interested her because of her childhood infatuation with all things space, the endless nature and mystery of the cosmos. Going to work in the industry nearly ruined that infatuation, removing so much of the beauty of exploration and putting it into numbers and measurements, in small compartments in a tiny office with a desk and computer.
At 23, she was "old" to begin a career in opera, but she has an unusual range and an extraordinary presence.
I love the image she created for me with her story of pulling the box of her scores (sheet music) out of the closet after leaving her job. I could just imagine her pulling out the first piece she would sing to warm up her voice after more than four years, like a long-awaited reunion with a dear friend.
Anna's adventurous spirit has taken her all over the world, and her compassion inspired her to create a non-profit called Vocalise, guiding victims of abuse to use their voices to release the trauma stored in their hearts and bodies.
Our conversation was enlightening, fascinating, and full of "ah ha" moments. Enjoy!
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Anna Cley
From rocket science to opera...
Transformational Artist
Performance & Leadership Specialist
Humanitarian
Visit Anna's website, get ready for her book launch next year, follow her on YouTube and Instagram, and connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more.
Her album "opera en code"was released in July, 2020 on all digital platforms. Here's a place to start to listen to this musical creation.
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About Sarah:
Click the image to purchase the audiobook, or purchase the paperback here!
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Struggle Stories Help Define Patterns
Code: Opportunity for Personal Growth
After two years in the position, I found myself standing in the bathroom with a tear-stained face... again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I make this work? I'm not a particularly emotional person and yet, here I was with swollen eyes and runny nose... again. Why was I letting my boss get to me like this?
This wasn't the first time I found myself struggling with an abusive boss in a bad environment. Just two positions before this one I had another abusive boss. As I stood looking in the mirror, my reflection said it all: You've been in this position before that, too.
I started to look back at all of my jobs, all the way back to being a food server at an IHOP in college. There were some exceptions; I did experience jobs where I was valued, where I thrived and became the professional person I am today. Looking back though, there were far too many similar situations in my past. This was a pattern.
It took some deep self-reflection to come to this conclusion, the most humbling and difficult moment in my career.
I had some complicity here.
What an awful realization. Who wants that kind of answer to a question? No one I know wants to admit they did something wrong or that they played a part in what was wrong with a relationship or job.
I'm not for a second suggesting that bullying and abuse is the fault of the victim.
I'm not for a second suggesting that it is ever okay to treat people badly or that a victim as somehow earned abuse.
there are circumstances and patterns, though, that when we see them in our lives can awaken us to our role in our own success, if we take responsibility as adults and choose to make changes.
I learned a lot of lessons in those 2+ years; I continue to face similar challenges, now I'm more aware of my actions that might be contributing to the problems.
Here are some of the lessons I continue to practice:
- Your contribution may not be necessary or may not add value to the discussion. Stop. Think. Listen. Then decide how or if to weigh in with your thoughts or suggestions.
- Trust is good, but take the time to know a person before you share. Trust your instincts! If you observe characteristics about a person, incorporate those observations into your overall level of trust and figure out with what you can trust each person in the environment. If someone is sharing gossip with you, they're likely sharing gossip about you.
- Related to #2, be careful where you dump (especially if you live in a small town), and DO NOT DUMP at work. The person you want to vent about may be right around the corner and that is simply disrespectful - and you will not like yourself afterward. As bad as it is, it can be worse when you know you've earned some of the scorn. Sometimes you need to share frustrations at work, be careful not to become the person who is constantly griping and complaining.
- Sometimes you have to play the game. Don’t antagonize, especially if it won’t bring you closer to your goal. Always think of your ultimate goal for the relationship and your job. I once hit "send" on an email I knew I shouldn't have sent. It took me about five minutes to feel the consequences and to know how sophomoric I was for sabotaging my own day. That's where I developed the 24 Hour Rule.
- Be aware that your position in the project may not be what you want it to be, find out what's expected for your role and focus! Do your job with all of your skills and energy, and learn what you must to do your job well. My mom once told me that every trial you face will keep coming back until you learn your lesson from it. Remember that it's not forever and that you must "find the nugget" before you can leave.
- Find people you trust and who know you well, but are separate enough from the situation to provide an outside perspective, and ask them for specific ideas about where you should be looking for your next adventure.
- When faced with a difficult situation, reflect on how you would want to perceive it from 20 years in the future. Did you handle it well, with grace, dignity and compassion?
- Sometimes people are just mean. It may be time to call them on it and stand up for yourself and others, or get out.
- My most unpleasant lesson: Figure out how you might be complicit in your own patterns of frustration in jobs and relationships. Until you identify your patterns, you will continue to face similar situations. If every boss, or every romantic partner in your life was the same... the common piece of the puzzle is you.
There are no easy answers.
Be kind to yourself while you work through this. And know that you are a work in progress; what makes you happy and content today will probably change in the future.