Your Stories Don’t Define You
How You Tell Them Will
A podcast to unlock your stories and uncover meaningful insights.
448 Pivot Point: Revealing Stories By Building Relationships with Terry Rubin
"But every time they had different stories to tell... about how they reflect on this, how they've grown, how they've become more forgiving, things like that."
Early in his career, Terry Rubin worked for The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour in New York City and was sent to Oklahoma City within 24 hours of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995.
His job was to find the stories, connect with the right people to interview, and manage the details of coordinating crew and journalists to interview people onsite.
"But every time they had different stories to tell... about how they reflect on this, how they've grown, how they've become more forgiving, things like that."
Early in his career, Terry Rubin worked for The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour in New York City and was sent to Oklahoma City within 24 hours of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995.
His job was to find the stories, connect with the right people to interview, and manage the details of coordinating crew and journalists to interview people onsite.
He found a bombed-out church near the site, its beautiful stained glass windows completely shattered, and the stories just started to flow. The relationships Terry developed deepened over time, and the crew returned to that community weeks and months later, hearing how their experience continued to shape their lives.
The stories evolved over time, incorporating more memories, hearing the experiences of others nearby, and with more perspective on how those events changed their lives forever.
That's the thing about these big events we experience and hear about: There are millions of stories that come out of them. Each individual has their own perception of events, each person's life changes in small and significant ways that we can't recognize until years later.
Those pivotal moments don't necessarily happen at that moment in time. They happen when we look back from a different perspective, when we notice our own courage and resilience, when we realize how our relationships with ourselves and others shifted.
As Terry and I talked about his experience then, I was transported to where I was on that day and the way that event changed our communities after. I wasn't there in Oklahoma City, I don't have a direct connection to the tragedy. But I do have stories related to it, and they're relevant and meaningful.
The "where were you when...?" questions can bring deep connection, as long we are open to the ripple effects of events and not comparing our experiences in a way that judges them for proximity.
Listeners, now it's your turn:
Did our stories remind you of your answers to the "where were you when..." question?
Can you see now how those experiences shaped your current worldview?
Can you find a meaningful moment that was a direct result of each of those experiences?
What do those moments offer in terms of lessons for you?
Key Takeaways
Pivotal Story: A last-minute assignment to the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing coverage launched Terry Rubin's career, accelerating his promotion to field producer at age 29.
Core Insight: The experience taught Rubin that meaningful stories are found in small, human moments (e.g., a pastor's resolve, a child's song), not just the epic events themselves.
Business Application: This insight now drives Rubin's work at The Professional Communicators, where he helps clients use strategic storytelling to make abstract business concepts tangible and build stronger connections with their intended audience.
As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Terry:
I am the Co-founder/co-owner of the Professional Communicators, a communication training, coaching, and consulting firm. We have been in business for 9 years, and worked with almost 200 clients and thousands of executives, mid level managers, and sales teams helping them improve their public speaking and communication skills. Prior I was a Journalist for the PBS NewsHour for 20 plus years and a high School Speech and Debate coach.
My current work combines the best of those worlds as I help people tell their stories and be better communicators.
Whether complicated technical information, loads of data, or wanting to be motivational and call people to action, I help people reach their communication goals. I am married to an amazing wife and have two fantastic kids who are 7 and 9. I am a huge Indiana University sports fan and love the performing arts.
Visit Terry's website to learn more, and connect with him on LinkedIn to see the great content he shares on that platform.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
447 Pivot Point: An Epic Story Leads to Meaningful Moments
You've probably heard me say: "Your stories don't have to be epic. They have to be meaningful." But there is a time and a place for an epic story. They can be life-defining, entertaining, and a great way to gather people together.
“I was frustrated, exhausted, and close to tears, when I suddenly heard a lawn mower outside our bay window. Our neighbor was mowing our lawn.”
I didn't ask him to do it. I didn't even know he knew the stress that was happening in our house.
When my husband broke his leg two miles from the trailhead in a remote part of Montana, I learned about my own resilience, resourcefulness, and grit. It was an epic adventure getting my family off a mountain, and I love to share it when the opportunity arises.
But it's not the epic story that holds the most meaning for me. It's the experiences it generates days, months, and years later.
“I was frustrated, exhausted, and close to tears, when I suddenly heard a lawn mower outside our bay window. Our neighbor was mowing our lawn.”
I didn't ask him to do it. I didn't even know he knew the stress that was happening in our house.
When my husband broke his leg two miles from the trailhead in a remote part of Montana, I learned about my own resilience, resourcefulness, and grit. It was an epic adventure getting my family off a mountain, and I love to share it when the opportunity arises.
But it's not the epic story that holds the most meaning for me. It's the experiences it generates days, months, and years later.
I shared the story in episode 446, and this week's episode is about how our community showed up for us in our recovery from that adventure.
Most of us are much better at giving than receiving, but to build and nurture a strong community we must be able to accept help with grace and gratitude. Strong relationships require an aspect of reciprocity, not constant selfless service.
Listeners, now it's your turn:
Did my story remind you of something from your past?
Can you see now how that difficult experience helped shape you, and the meaningful moments that were a direct or indirect result of the epic story?
What do those moments offer in terms of lessons for you?
As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
446 Pivot Point: There’s a Time and a Place for an Epic Story
You've probably heard me say: "Your stories don't have to be epic. They have to be meaningful." But there is a time and a place for an epic story. They can be life-defining, entertaining, and a great way to gather people together.
And it's the days, months, and years of related stories generated from the experience that offer far deeper insights and lessons than the experience itself.
In today’s episode you’ll hear one of my epic stories, when, 20+ years ago, my husband broke his leg about 2 miles from a trailhead in a remote wilderness area. I had to find a way to get my husband off the side of a mountain, along with our 4 and 6-year-old boys and a puppy.
Over the next few weeks, I'll share some of the meaningful moments that were generated by the epic event. These are the gold of the story - the lessons learned, the deep friendships, and the self-realizations - that happen when you're truly put to the test. This is where we learn grit, resilience, and the importance of being able to receive.
Summertime is hard on podcasters!
We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren’t as likely to listen.
This summer I’ve been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person’s attention while still offering insights and entertainment.
What you’ve been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of a pivotal moment in a person’s life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you:
One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself.
And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way. Acknowledging that small, meaningful moments make great stories.
You've probably heard me say: "Your stories don't have to be epic. They have to be meaningful." But there is a time and a place for an epic story. They can be life-defining, entertaining, and a great way to gather people together.
And it's the days, months, and years of related stories generated from the experience that offer far deeper insights and lessons than the experience itself.
In today’s episode you’ll hear one of my epic stories, when, 20+ years ago, my husband broke his leg about 2 miles from a trailhead in a remote wilderness area. I had to find a way to get my husband off the side of a mountain, along with our 4 and 6-year-old boys and a puppy.
Hike to Crow Creek Lake 2005
Over the next few weeks, I'll share some of the meaningful moments that were generated by the epic event. These are the gold of the story - the lessons learned, the deep friendships, and the self-realizations that happen when you're truly put to the test. This is where we learn grit, resilience, and the importance of being able to receive.
After you’ve heard my story, listeners, it’ll be your turn:
Were you reminded of an epic event in your life?
Can you recall the related stories from that event, the meaningful moments generated by it?
What lessons can you take away? Can you share those stories without sharing details of the epic event itself?
As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
445 Pivot Point: Finding Your Lost Mojo featuring Thomas Lion
In today’s episode you’ll hear about Thomas Lion’s recovery from the loss of his home in western Oregon to a wildfire. The fire took his home and everything in it, including the first draft of his book, Gridless in Seattle.
So, what do you do when you've lost everything?
Pivotal Moment: A 2015 wildfire destroyed his home, including the 180-page hard-copy manuscript for his latest novel, Gridless Near Seattle.
Summertime is hard on podcasters!
We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren’t as likely to listen.
This summer I’ve been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person’s attention while still offering insights and entertainment.
What you’ve been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of a pivotal moment in a person’s life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you:
One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself.
And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way. Acknowledging that small, meaningful moments make great stories.
In today’s episode you’ll hear about Thomas Lion’s recovery from the loss of his home to a wildfire. The fire took his home and everything in it, including the first draft of his book, Gridless Near Seattle.
So, what do you do when you've lost everything?
Pivotal Moment: A 2015 wildfire destroyed his home, including the 180-page hard-copy manuscript for his latest novel, Gridless Near Seattle.
He rebuilt his life over and over again in the past, but after a wildfire took out his beautiful log home along with the draft of his novel, Thomas couldn't bring himself to go back to it.
That momentum-killer of loss held him for 7 years - until the right messenger showed up to remind him he's a writer, a talented one, and that he needed to sit down and get started again.
He restarted the novel, changed the title to Osprey Gold, and incorporated real-life experiences like his loss of a newly planted vinyard, thanks to highly motivated bears, and the pivot to a legal cannabis growing farm.
Curious? Listen to the episode, and then buy the book. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Listeners, now it's your turn:
What will you get back to work on, after hearing Thomas' story of resilience and persistence?
Who are the people who advocated for you, who are the people you'll listen to when you need a champion and cheerleader?
---
From Thomas Lion
I’ve lived a long, colorful life — retiring from major marijuana wholesaling at 25, followed by five fugitive years that ended in an Unsolved Mysteries capture and years incarcerated teaching GED classes. My 1998 memoir was later optioned by Lions Gate. Between Osprey Gold and the Unsolved Mysteries American Fugitive memoir arc that came before it — the long road, the phoenix rise after losing everything in the 2015 wildfires, the rebuild, and the late‑life return to the writing rodeo — I’ve got a story your Boomer audience will connect with deeply. It’s one of those rare indie author journeys that’s truly worth telling. My writing comes from lived experience and resilience, with Osprey Gold shaped by the emotional engine of a modern‑day family facing crisis and reconciliation in polarized rural western America.
Check out the reviews of Tom's book, Osprey Gold:
Amazon.com: Osprey Gold: 9781662970191: Lion, Thomas: Books
Interview with Thomas Lion, Author of Osprey Gold - Seattle Book Review
Book review of Osprey Gold - Readers' Favorite: Book Reviews and Award Contest
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
444 Pivot Point: A Recent Story with Lessons from the Past
Watching the drama unfold at the airport brought it all back to me, the challenges of being a parent, especially of a toddler, and the ridiculousness of the judgment I experienced. Judged if I lost track of the toddler and judged by having the wrist tether on him. Judged if I give in to the tantrum and judged for walking away from the cartful of groceries.
It’s hard enough being a parent, with all the self-doubt and exhaustion, do we really need to add a stranger’s judgment to the equation?
Offering compassion to that father was a full-circle moment for me, a pivot-point in the realization that my experiences from the past truly shaped who I am today.
Summertime is hard on podcasters!
We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren’t as likely to listen.
This summer I’ve been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person’s attention while still offering insights and entertainment.
What you’ve been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners:
One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself.
And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning.
In today’s episode you’ll hear two stories from my past, and a recent story that demonstrates insights from them. We experience meaningful moments every day, things that shape who we are and how we behave into the future, but most of us don’t think about life that way.
I’ve heard people talk about how raising kids takes a village, but when it's time to offer assistance and support, they quickly turn to judgment instead. Shaking their heads and “tsk tsk”ing under their breath, as if a parent doesn’t see your expression or hear your judgment.
And that’s not helpful.
Most of us have been on the other side of the equation, accidentally cutting someone off in traffic, and then a few minutes later honking at someone who does the same thing. Or allowing our frustration to erupt in a loud voice at our kid, and years later judging a parent for the same behavior.
It was my experience as a parent that helped me see things from that perspective, but it shouldn’t take being in their shoes to offer compassion and assistance.
Watching the drama unfold at the airport brought it all back to me, the challenges of being a parent, especially of a toddler, and the ridiculousness of the judgment I experienced. Judged if I lost track of the toddler and judged by having the wrist tether on him. Judged if I give in to the tantrum and judged for walking away from the cartful of groceries.
It’s hard enough being a parent, with all the self-doubt and exhaustion, do we really need to add external judgment to the equation?
Offering compassion to that father was a full-circle moment for me, a pivot-point in the realization that my experiences from the past truly shaped who I am today.
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did a memory come back to you when you heard my stories in the episode?
Did you see yourself in one or more of the characters, and did that generate an insight or discomfort in you? Remember, discomfort can be a powerful tool for self-reflection!
Is there something you’ll intentionally be more aware of after listening? Something you’ll try to do differently when faced with an opportunity for compassion and support instead of judgment?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
443 Pivot Point: Realizing You Predicted the Future
I don’t know who unearthed this old episode, but when I looked at recent analytics for my website and podcast, this one had suddenly re-emerged. So I looked at it and listened to it and had a pretty big insight.
Some of us were already talking about the desperation for connection we were seeing in our communities, even before COVID-19, even before our political environment was so seriously compromised and created irreconcilable division.
It feels meaningful, this recovery of an old episode right now, as if I could see where things were headed and voiced my concern years before things really devolved.
Your stories don’t define you. How you tell them will.
Hi! I’m Sarah Elkins, your host and chief storymaker at Elkins Consulting.
If you’ve been listening to my show for a while, you’ve probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks.
Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren’t as likely to listen.
This summer I’ve been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person’s attention while still offering insights and entertainment.
What you’ve been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners:
One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself.
And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning.
In today’s episode you’ll hear an early episode of my podcast, #17, recorded and posted in December of 2017 called Desperate for Connection.
I’m re-sharing it, nearly 6 years later, because it’s still so relevant – even more relevant now.
I don’t know who unearthed this old episode, but when I looked at recent analytics for my website and podcast, this one had suddenly re-emerged. So I looked at it and listened to it and had a pretty big insight.
Some of us were already talking about the desperation for connection we were seeing in our communities, even before COVID-19, even before our political environment was so seriously compromised and created irreconcilable division.
It feels meaningful, this recovery of an old episode right now, as if I could see where things were headed and voiced my concern years before things really devolved.
After you listen, it’ll be your turn:
Did a memory come back to you when you heard my stories in the episode?
Did you see yourself in one or more of the characters, and did that generate an insight or discomfort in you?
What will you do with this insight or discomfort?
I hope you’ll see yourself in one or more of the characters at different times in your life, and that you’ll make active, intentional decisions to shift the dynamic of loneliness by connecting with someone with genuine care.
Whether that’s offering a real, loving smile to a cashier at the grocery store or coffee shop, holding the door open for the person behind you, smiling and waving to let someone into a busy intersection or highway, or offering assistance to someone struggling to carry a heavy load.
Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.