Your Stories Don’t Define You
How You Tell Them Will
A podcast to unlock your stories and uncover meaningful insights.
Choose Your Location, and the Job Will Follow
JeanAnn never really thought about what she wanted to do in terms of everyday work to make an income, instead, she decided where she wanted to live, and picked a career that would take her to that place.
The Stories We Choose Define Us
JeanAnn never really thought about what she wanted to do in terms of everyday work to make an income, instead, she decided where she wanted to live, and picked a career that would take her to that place.
Fortunately, she was raised in a household where traditional gender modeling wasn't a thing, so when she decided to go into engineering, it didn't seem unusual or unattainable.
Two parts of our conversation stand out to me:
- Even in 2016, school children were expressing gender stereotypes. During career day at a local elementary school, as she introduced JeanAnn, the teacher asked the students what they thought she did. The first suggestions? A teacher. A nurse. And while those are wonderful careers, they are traditionally held by women. It's startling to me to hear those traditional ideas in a classroom in 2016.
- JeanAnn never thought of herself as a trailblazer; her success came because she's competent, and a great ambassador for her people (women, mothers, engineers), and maybe there was a little luck in her corner because she didn't experience the blatant sexism others have experienced. She isn't successful because she's a woman, or in spite of it. She's successful because she's competent, a great communicator, and has the confidence to stand up and do what she wants to do.
Would you consider choosing your career based on where you want to live? I would - and I have - but not with intention.
As always, this conversation made some big twists and turns before coming back to the theme: The stories we tell ourselves are exactly what we will believe.
As an executive coach, JeanAnn Nichols specializes in supporting experienced corporate leaders who seek to create space for meaningful development and sustainable adaptation to change. Whether the challenge is guiding your business through a transition, taking the next step in your career, or improving your overall life satisfaction, JeanAnn’s coaching will help you reach your goals, enhance your perspective, and inspire your team.
Connect with JeanAnn to learn more about what she does on LinkedIn, and by visiting her website.
Stories Through Generations: How Our Family History Shapes Our Internal Narrative
As often happens in these conversations, we took some twists and turns from topic to topic, and somehow found our way back to the original theme of the podcast: Our family history shapes us, and if we don't share those stories, we not only leave gaping holes in our understanding of ourselves, we lose our connection to other humans.
The popularity of DNA and geneology tests and apps is a big indication that people are interested to know where they came from. We all have different reasons for wanting to know; many simply want to know what genetic predispositions they may face as they age, or have children. More of us are curious because we define ourselves by our stories, our backgrounds, and the people who came before us.
As a child, I remember sitting at our dinner table and hearing stories of our grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and distant cousins from the past. Some stories were funny, others were fascinating in their unfamiliar use of language and a time so different from ours. In our family, the narrative was that we were from Russia on both sides, and that our great grandparents all came from a similar part of the world. When I heard stories of my great-grandmother coming to America with her three daughters, her husband left behind for health reasons, and living with her brother just scraping by, I have a vivid picture in my head.
And when I doubt myself or feel less than brave or strong, I think of that great-grandmother and her resilience, perseverance, courage and resourcefulness. It gives me comfort, knowing that DNA was passed on to me, and that if she could survive intense hardship and grief, so can I.
Wendy Weiner Runge shares other people's stories through film as a producer. Her recent project, R4CH43L, is a Holocaust story with a tragic ending, as most are. What I wanted to know was how her family history shaped her perspective in telling the story of R4CH43L, which is not her own family's story.
As often happens in these conversations, we took some twists and turns from topic to topic, and somehow found our way back to the original theme of the podcast: Our family history shapes us, and if we don't share those stories, we not only leave gaping holes in our understanding of ourselves, we lose our connection to other humans.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this conversation.
Wendy Weiner Runge is a spirited writer, experienced film and television producer, ebullient story teller, and proud collector of amazing people. With her partner, Noah Bewley, they are producing a diverse slate of films, including R4CH43L and the films, video games and graphic novel series of the JOURN3Y trilogy:
💥Crossing To Existence, ⛓Collecting The Hidden, and 🔥Ceasing The Darkness.
If her stories resonate with you, and you're interested in learning more about what she does and how she magically creates the world around her, connect with her on LinkedIn, and consider supporting the production of this important film, R4CH43L.
Your Brain on Stories: How Stories Impact Your World View
He was sitting in the school library with his friends on a rainy day, laughing and getting the negative attention of the staff. Picking up a random novel from the shelf to hide behind and pretend to read, a sentence actually caught his attention, and he was completely transported to the world of Dune.
Impacts of Hearing and Writing Other People's Stories
He was sitting in the school library with his friends on a rainy day, laughing and getting the negative attention of the staff. Picking up a random novel from the shelf to hide behind and pretend to read, a sentence actually caught his attention, and he was transported to the world of Dune.
It was the third in the series, and when he finished it, he went back to read the first two. That fateful rainy day changed how David Amerland saw his world, and his future in it. The premise behind Dune, written in 1965 is incredibly relevant today. Like so many of our most cherished science fiction novels, we’re seeing ominous signals of our future, strangely mirroring our wildest science fiction fantasies of the past.
In Dune, the people of the future are like computers, our minds are what drive development, not the opposite, as we see today. And that’s what David saw in his future; recognizing the incredible power of the human brain, and how it’s impacted by what we observe, consciously and unconsciously.
Our thoughts and behaviors are shaped by our perceptions of all of our interactions, experiences, and observations of our stories, and we’re also shaped by other people’s stories that we hear and read. Many iterations of “rags to riches” stories capture our attention, not because they are our stories, but because we are motivated and enthralled by the stories we want to relate to. When we hear or read about the struggles, obstacles, and successes of others, we can see ourselves in those stories, even if our experiences are completely different. It’s the emotion – the feelings – behind the stories that capture our attention, not necessarily the actual experiences.
Recent studies have shown that hearing someone tell a story triggers specific activity in our brains. When we hear a story being told, the active part of our brain is the same active part of the brain as the person who is telling the story. In other words, if I share a story really well, I can get others to practically experience it.
There’s more to it, of course, involving release of oxytocin in the brain. You can read more here, and here.
Listen to this fascinating conversation with David Amerland, and let us know your thoughts in the comments.
David Amerland is an international speaker, author and business journalist. He's also a gypsy careerist (like me), because his interests span the spectrum of science and humanity. His recently published book, The Sniper Mind, takes mindfulness and focus techniques that are critical to success in that arena, and applies those techniques to professional and personal success. I'm a little conflicted with this idea, and at the same time, totally intrigued by it.
Enjoyed the podcast? Read about David on his website, connect with him on LinkedIn, and buy his book.
Expectations: Fuel for Resentment, or Critical Growth Factor?
The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Others Can Wreak Havoc in Relationships
When Melissa Hughes talks about expectations, she puts them into four categories:
- Expectations of yourself
- Expectations for yourself
- Expectations of others
- Expectations for others
As an educator, she knows that students will be more successful when a teacher has high expectations of them. She also knows that expectations, when not managed and understood, can fuel resentment in a relationship.
What's really fascinating is that when an expectation isn't met, it can have devastating effects, so devastating that our brain reacts in the same way as when we feel physical pain.
Feel good neural transmitters are released when our expectations are met - and they drop dramatically when our expectations are NOT met, especially when it is a surprise to us.
We tell ourselves stories of the people around us, stories of what we believe they will do, no matter what evidence we have about our past experience with them. Listen to the conversation to learn more.
Melissa Hughes is a talented speaker, and author of Happy Hour with Einstein. To learn more about her talents with every different kind of audience, visit her website. And be sure to connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on YouTube to be notified of her upcoming engagements, blog and video posts, and book releases.
Why It Works with Joe Kwon - Storytelling
5.0 Why It Works: Sarah Elkins on Storytelling
in Podcast
Have you ever wondered why some storytellers mesmerize you and others give Ambien a run for its money? How come some stories you tell have people on the edge of their seat and others induce yawns? Did you know that there is a lot more than words that goes into telling a good story?
In today's episode of "Why It Works," Sarah Elkins, a leadership and storytelling coach, reveals some of the hidden mechanisms behind storytelling. Listen in to find out the connection between vulnerability and storytelling, how lessons from music can improve your storytelling and the one thing that drives Sarah crazy about bad storytellers.
Your History is Your Story; It Doesn't Have to Be Your Future
Shelley Beth Brown is one of those creative people that, when we first meet her, we assume has always thrived in creative environments. Her writing is whimsical, raw, and full of childhood imagination.
At Some Point, We Must Take Responsibility for Our Happiness
Shelley Beth Brown is one of those creative people that, when we first meet her, we assume has always thrived in creative environments. Her writing is whimsical, raw, and full of childhood imagination.
I asked her to be a guest on the podcast because I knew there was a lot to her history, and how her family and early career shaped her incredible storytelling.
It turns out that we have one important thing in common in our childhood: Our families had a similar definition of success that included having money and things. We were shaped by the belief that there was some recipe for success that included making a lot of money, and for some reason, people with a lot of money and things were to be admired.
Thinking that way shaped our career decisions in a big way, and now we're both finding that though we don't regret those decisions because of the learning and growth opportunities they provided. Those decisions didn't fit our needs, or our true definition of success, but they led us to insights and a different understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
But now, as adults, we're finding that success looks very different to us than it did to our parents. Success in Shelley's life means spending time with her adorable dog, in the city she loves, writing and creating stories from her extensive childhood daydreams. What it takes to make an income to support that success almost doesn't matter, as long as it involves a supportive team and a creative environment.
Shelley Brown is a connector of humans, and is addicted to helping people. On her days off, you might find her standing at an intersection near an L station in Chicago, with a sign "free directions", literally helping stranded travelers find their way. She's also a gifted writer, just discovering here profound impact on the people around her through her imaginative, hilarious stories that are as relatable as anything we can imagine from our childhood. Her Write Naked article has inspired me and many others to expose our true selves in order to grow and build authentic relationships.
Her professional strength is in sales, and when she's in an environment with people who "get" her, she simply glides into highly successful relationships with the clients she serves. Connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more.
Every Event Tells a Story
It occurred to me that at some point in their lives, nearly every person is tasked with planning an event of some kind. It could be a child's birthday party, a wedding, a meeting, a conference, or even a basic dinner party, but all events have one thing in common - guests.
It's Your Guests Who Will Tell It
Suzanne Spaner and I have a few things in common, but the one I enjoy chatting with her the most about is our event planning and hospitality experience. You see, anyone who has ever worked in that industry, including restaurants, is guaranteed to have great stories to share.
It occurred to me that at some point in their lives, nearly every person is tasked with planning an event of some kind. It could be a child's birthday party, a wedding, a meeting, a conference, or even a basic dinner party, but all events have one thing in common - guests.
That's why I asked Suzanne to chat with me about how we apply storytelling to event planning, and she certainly didn't disappoint.
We agreed that one of the most important parts of planning an event is to consider how we want our guests to leave; what do we want them to talk about, remember, and feel when they leave, and weeks, months, or years later?
When we answer those questions, the event begins to take shape, priorities emerge, and creativity can take its place, front and center.
I hope that when you listen to this conversation, you'll consider some of these strategies when planning your next event, no matter what it is.
Suzanne Spaner is the Founder of Meeting Matchmakers, a one-stop-shop, no-fee service that helps corporations, organizations, and families find, negotiate, and book group events (10 or more overnight rooms) at hotels worldwide. Visit her website and connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more!