442 Pivot Point: Crafting Your Legacy
Your stories don’t define you. How you tell them will.
Hi! I’m Sarah Elkins, your host and chief storymaker at Elkins Consulting.
If you’ve been listening to my show for a while, you’ve probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks.
Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren’t as likely to listen.
This summer I’ve been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person’s attention while still offering insights and entertainment.
What you’ve been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners:
One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself.
And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning.
In today’s episode you’ll hear about a pivotal moment that changed me, a story filled with grief and joy in the same moment. Jewish tradition emphasizes that humans are uniquely capable of holding space for seemingly contradictory emotions at the same time, grief & joy, sorrow and gratitude. That it’s part of our human experience, and the reason grief can feel so heavy and liberating at the same time.
Given that my family experienced a lot of grief over the course of around two years, first my father-in-law, then two close friends who had fatal accidents but were otherwise healthy, and then my father, it’s not surprising that those two years had me deeply rethinking my priorities.
Which is why this pivotal moment, the one I’m about to describe, came as a surprise to me.
I was sitting in a church, attending a memorial service for the mother of a dear family friend. I don’t have a memory of reading her obituary, though I’m sure I did. What was deeply memorable was what the majority of people said as they took turns standing and speaking about their mother, grandmother, aunt, colleague, and friend.
Almost every one of them mentioned receiving birthday cards and letters every year. They spoke about what it meant to them to see the envelope with her handwriting on it, that they waited until the day of the birthday to open it, no matter how many days ahead it arrived, that they treasured seeing the perfect card she would select, the beautiful, thoughtful words she would write, the way they felt when they held the paper in their hands – seen, loved, valued.
Witnessing this outpouring of similar stories made me wonder what stories my family and friends will share when I'm no longer living among them. It was a pivotal moment - a reminder - that if I want to avoid regret, I must live in alignment with how I want to be known.
Listeners, now it's your turn -
What stories do people tell when you're not around?
What stories are you sharing about your loved ones that will continue their legacy beyond your lifetime?
The stories we tell about people say everything about who we are and what matters to us, so what stories are people telling about you? Are they consistently in alignment with the legacy you want to leave behind?
Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.