410 Holding Space For Grief
What can one say when faced with tragedy? Do you reach for a simple “I’m sorry” to let another know you sympathize with their pain? Do you offer an anecdote to show you empathize with what they are going through? Regardless, it is important that whatever you do you also hold space for your grief as well as those who need to know they are not alone in their grief.
410 Holding Space For Grief
What can one say when faced with tragedy? Do you reach for a simple “I’m sorry” to let another know you sympathize with their pain? Do you offer an anecdote to show you empathize with what they are going through? Regardless, it is important that whatever you do you also hold space for your grief as well as those who need to know they are not alone in their grief.
Highlights
The importance of holding space for grief in the face of tragedy.
Using healthy coping mechanisms to combat pain.
You can sit in your grief and melancholy, just remember you must continue to move on.
Quotes
“I can’t fathom how this is okay in the year 2025. Why haven’t we evolved further than to allow the murder of innocents?”
“It brought me a sense of peace and comfort, knowing we are resilient people. That we will come through this. That we will find love and community as we make the efforts to do so.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
Find a place outside where you can stand on grass or dirt in bare feet, even if it’s cold, and sense the awe around you. Whatever the weather, we’re alive. Whatever the actions taken by others, we’re alive, to keep the legacy of our loved ones alive in our hearts. And to play a small role in changing this dynamic of hate, loneliness, and disconnect.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
Mentioned in this episode
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
Where is Your Tribe?
They created and nurtured a tribe like few get to experience.
Tragedy hits; who do you reach out to? Who will reach out to you? You might be surprised.
Our dear friends lost their son in a car accident and our community is mourning the loss of this beautiful soul. Their lives, and the lives of so many this young man's energy and love impacted, are forever changed. But that's not the point of this story, because his family and those closest to him will tell it themselves.
It's Their Story
People who have experienced tragedy will tell you that those who they believed would be there for them often disappear, while people they weren't particularly close to were the ones who showed up.
There are many reasons for this, and I've written a lot about that theme over the years. But the biggest reason I can share is that people are uncomfortable with grief. That discomfort comes from knowing how unpredictable life can be - that it could be them, and it comes from not knowing what to say or do, and not being able to make things better.
But those who show up make the difference. Though it's disappointing when those you thought would be there aren't, the extraordinary beauty of those who DO show up shines a light like nothing else can.
The only light I've been able to see, the only comfort I've been able to find as my friends absorb this new reality is that they are surrounded by the love and light of their community.
Over the years I've known them, they've shared themselves, their love, creativity, and vibrant appreciation for life with everyone they come in contact with, anywhere. My friends transformed friends into family at every opportunity by nourishing people at their dining room tables, through their art, and over miles and miles of outdoor adventures. They created their tribe for just this moment, this time when they need them.
This tribe will not disappear at the scent, sound, and thick fog of grief. This tribe will show up, at all hours, at any moment and in any location to be there for our friends. We will grieve together, and know when and how to leave room for the grief of the parents and sibling, which is unlike any other grief.
This tribe will never - ever - utter the words: "I know how you feel." Because they know, without a doubt, that they can't know.
It Could Be Your Story
Do you have a tribe? Have you cultivated with generosity, kindness, and love a community you know will show up when you need them?
Just like a business network, if you wait until you need them when you are unemployed or underemployed, you will be lost for much, much longer than you would have been had you maintained and nurtured those connections.
We may feel very connected to those we know online, but if we're not spending time in real life with real people, we're not building the kind of tribe I'm talking about here.
Build your tribe before you need them. Reach out to those you feel connected to and nurture those relationships. Spend time face-to-face, schedule dates of walks, lunches, and silliness.
Make time now, because you may not have tomorrow.
*This post is dedicated to the memory of the sparkly, deeply intelligent, beautifully loving man lost on December 13, 2017, Kyle Boundy, and to his family and friends who will be forever changed for having experienced his love.*