My mother and her twin sister said: “Sarah, you’re so bossy.” Our large family had a reservation at a restaurant and I was being insistent that people stop yammering and get into cars, directing people and touching them on the arm to gesture toward a vehicle.

I was insulted and defensive. It was my intention to get the family to the restaurant on time for our reservation out of respect to the venue, which seemed reasonable to me. I felt like I had been gentle in terms of nudging my aunts, uncles, and cousins to get moving. That’s not how my mom and aunt saw it.

That wasn’t the first time I was called bossy or pushy, and it wouldn’t be the last.