Journaling? Seems Like Work to Me.

Twice in two weeks, jumping out of my comfort zone.

Inspired by this article by Benjamin Hardy, I picked up the beautiful journal my friend gave me as a birthday gift years ago, and packed it for an overnight away with the family.

I'm always suggesting that people step out of their comfort zones, and I've had to practice what I preach a few times in recent weeks.

Never a joiner, it was out of character for me to become a member of our local Women's Leadership Network a few years ago. This was a different kind of organization; little obligation of time and money, and good benefits in available workshops and referrals; it was an easy baby step into joining something, and the financial investment didn't feel like a big commitment.

After the successful annual conference of this group, I was impressed with the positive and encouraging energy of the women on the board and the members. So when the incoming President asked if I would consider serving as her Vice President, I didn't immediately turn her down. I offered to think about it. When I brought it up with my husband, who usually knows just what to say, his response was: "Well, Sarah, you're always telling people to take the leap and get out of their comfort zone. This seems like a good opportunity for you to do that."

I did. I know, it's only two weeks into my tenure, but so far I couldn't be happier with my decision. And that's really saying something because, in general, I'm terrified of commitment. That's why I've never joined an organization or served on a board. This year will be full of activity with this board, and I'm committed to helping our organization serve the women in our community.

As I launched myself into 2017, I started to panic about the commitments I've already made in just the first few months. My anxiety would wake me from a deep sleep, perspiration soaking the sheets with revelations in dreams of spiders and filthy bathrooms. I realized I needed tools to deal with what I saw as too many commitments and not enough time for myself. After all, I still have two teenagers in the house, a full time job, a nearly full time side-hustle, I perform regularly with two or three bands, and now I'm serving on the board of WLN Helena.

The first thing I did was buy my annual desktop calendar. Yes, the old school giant box calendar that I write on -- with a pen. It's posted on the side of our refrigerator for all school programs, doctors appointments, and any other scheduled event that impacts our family. When I sat down at the table with my brand new 2017 calendar, I carefully wrote every date committed so far. It suddenly became much easier to handle.

Then I read the article I referenced above by Benjamin Hardy. When I was in 7th grade, my English teacher made her students keep a journal for a semester. I don't remember enjoying it, but I can tell you that when I found it a few years ago, I was thrilled that I had completed that assignment. Hilarious. Dramatic, Boy crazy. Since then, the only journaling I've done, formally, was keeping a bit of a journal when I was pregnant the first time, and while I was studying abroad in Australia. I wasn't consistent, to say the least.

Journaling always seemed so rigid to me, like so much work. And goodness knows I have enough work to do without adding one. more. thing. That was until I read Benjamin's article; I realized that I was already journaling in my own style, and it is anything but rigid. When I am in meetings, at conferences, and even watching TV, I will grab a scrap of paper to write a phrase or a few sentences, a "to do" list, or a reminder to tell someone something. That scrap of paper is usually put into a notebook, purse, or pocket, and never referred to again. 

Instead of trying to deal with my scraps of paper for inspiration when writing, I've decided to again step out of my comfort zone and keep a journal with me everywhere I go. I've filled four pages in three days, and find myself thinking about what I'll put into it next. I'm actually excited to try this out, to see if this tool will help make me more efficient and productive.

If you've ever considered journaling, don't hesitate. Pick up a notebook and start doodling, writing phrases, and even penciling in your 'to do' list. Journaling doesn't have to be rigid, there are no rules, and you never know when something you wrote down will inspire an important thought or discussion in the future. I'll let you know how this goes. After all, I'm not really committed.

There are still spots available at the inaugural No Longer Virtual Conference February 23 & 24 in Atlanta. Here’s Cheryl Snapp Conner’s article in Forbes mentioning NLV as an event not to miss in 2017.

Sarah Elkins is a professional coach and consultant, helping people and businesses improve their communication through the art of storytelling. She’s also the President of Elkins Consulting, the company making a splash with small, face-to-face, affordable interactive conferences called No Longer Virtual.

It's Part of the Adventure

Stranded in the Philadelphia Airport

I'm sorry, it's highly unlikely you'll get home to Montana today. All of your flights were canceled because of the snow storm.

I burst into tears. Highly unusual for me to cry at all, much less in public. And there I was, uncontrollable sobs escaping my lips.

No, I'm sorry for falling apart like this. I buried my father two days ago and just want to be home with my family. I know it's not your fault. What should I do? Do you have any ideas for me?

She suggested I get through security, and then walk from counter to counter to try to get on a flight -- any flight -- out of Philadelphia before the next storm hit, predicted in the next 12 hours.

I did what she suggested; for the next two hours I wandered through the airport, adding my name to the standby list on almost every flight heading west. She was right. I was not getting home to Montana that day.

After receiving an incredible gift from a stranger, I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and started to make arrangements for the night and, hopefully, for getting home the next day. My husband did some research and found a deal on a beautiful downtown hotel room, making sure I'd have an easy way to get back to the airport early the next morning. I sent a message to my brother and sister, to let them know my situation, and to find out whether they were stranded, too. They weren't.

My sister called a friend who lived in the area to let him know I was there; he sent me a text: "Where should I pick you up so I can take you to dinner?"

My hero of the day took me to a dark, quiet Italian restaurant across the street from my hotel, and afterward we walked together through the oldest part of the city. When we returned to the hotel, he made sure I was set up with a ride to the airport the next morning, and then hugged me fiercely. "You've been through a lot, Sarah. Be gentle with yourself."

Sitting by the window on the 18th floor of the hotel, I looked out at the lights, thought of my father and enjoyed the quiet, peaceful night.

It took me a few minutes to realize how quiet it was in the room, and how much peace I found in those moments.

If I had made my flights, I'd be home by now, which would be nice. But if I was home at that moment, I wouldn't have had the quiet time to myself. If I was home at that moment, I wouldn't have had the opportunity for introspection and deep breathing. If I was home at that moment, I would have missed out on this amazing view, and time to put all of the events of the past year into some form that I could put into perspective and learn from before going back to my hectic life of work, home, and kids.

I've always been a pretty flexible traveler, taking obstacles and challenges in stride; this experience confirmed my belief that those delays and obstacles can be a great and important part of the adventure.

When you're traveling this season, and your plans get derailed and re-railed, and derailed again, remember this:

One way or another, you'll make it to your destination.

Find the value in your obstacles and challenges, find little bits of joy and peace along the way, and remember that though you're on your own journey, others can provide good company.

Be kind to yourself; be kind to others.

No Such Thing as Work/Life Balance

Every time I hear someone profess to know the secret to work/life balance, I bristle. First, there is no such thing as work/life balance, and second, there are no easy answers to finding a comfortable position in life when you are continually growing and changing.

No Work/Life Balance, Only Life Balance

I'm not sure it was ever possible to separate your personal and professional lives, but it was probably more likely before the age of the Internet and social media. In the past, people had their jobs, and then they went home to family and friends. You never really knew what went on behind closed doors, once an employee left the office, the only way for his colleagues to see his misbehavior is if they came to the family BBQ and witnessed his behavior after a few too many beers.

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Unless you are one of those people for whom this equation works comfort=happiness, you are going to have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. When you put yourself in a place of discomfort, doing something out of your normal routine, you grow. As long as you stay in your routine, comfortable and generally unchallenged, you will stagnate. The only way to grow and improve, the only way to reach your goals and make your dream life is to step out of that comfort zone and take some risks.

Work/Life Balance Means Something is Missing

If you feel like your work and life are balanced, it may mean you are compartmentalizing. That's not always a bad thing, but it isn't something that is  sustainable. When we compartmentalize, we are separating our thoughts and feelings into distinct categories, home vs. work, which means that we are not addressing the underlying issues and concerns in our overall lives. Our brains are most effective and efficient when all of the parts are interacting and engaging. According to Melissa Hughes in her book, Happy Hour with Einstein:

While specific regions of the brain are responsible for specific things, we are aware that the brain functions as a whole system. The better the regions integrate with each other, the better they all work independently.

If you really want change; if you really want to do something different with your life, stop working so hard for balance, and try being unbalanced for a while. Take risks; take the leap, and realize true growth.

don't miss this opportunity to grow. Register for No Longer virtual today!

After Conference Hangover

So excited to begin implementing ideas, I actually arrived early to work the morning I returned from the conference. That's a big deal for me; I love to sleep and rarely choose to get up an earlier than I have to. But that morning was different. That week would be different. My JOB would be different. I was on fire.

The conference had been full of great topics, from sales to leadership, from marketing to financial analysis. My favorite sessions were the keynote and breakout session on marketing in our industry, hosted by the keynote speaker. He reminded me why I loved that class when I was going through my undergraduate business program. His excitement for the planning process, implementation, and follow up analysis was contagious; I couldn't wait to get back to work and start my own project!

That Monday, I sat down at my desk and penciled in time on my busy calendar to work on a formal marketing plan. Allowing myself 30 minutes to get started by looking at available online templates, I found myself selecting a simple but solid format and downloading it to my desktop. My boss walked in as I was saving it; he was surprised to see me already settled into my day, a bit earlier than usual. In an uneasy, suspicious, fake-happy tone:

What are you so happily working on first thing this morning?

"You know that break-out session I went to at the conference last week? The one on marketing plans and implementation? I'm working on a marketing plan for us, to formalize some of what I've been doing, and to make it easier to budget and analyze the success of what we're doing here. I've been so busy since I started, trying to build business, I completely forgot how important this tool can be!"

Why do we need a marketing plan? You should be pounding the pavement. Didn't we have this conversation, that you need to spend less time onsite and more time selling?

In less than ten seconds, my boss had me nearly deflated. I didn't give up, though, I just knew I was on the right track. Every time I had 15 minutes alone in the office, I worked on that marketing plan. I knew I needed the document to help me stay on track and see results in my efforts at that job. In my optimistic mind, when I presented the finished product to my boss, he'd appreciate it -- he'd realized why we needed it. I'll save the results of that work for another blog post; let's just say it wasn't pretty.

I tried to keep my enthusiasm that week and the next. Interactions with staff included some discussion of things I learned and ideas I wanted to share; some were motivated to work on them. Most just nodded and smiled, assuming the ideas would go away and they could get back to their routines without having to work too hard.

Within two weeks, I may as well have not gone to that conference at all.

Have you been to conferences that got you all excited, only to return to your routine and lose momentum within days or weeks? Why is that? Is it the conference itself, setting up unreasonable expectations? Is it your colleagues who didn't attend, who aren't motivated to step things up and improve?

How do we fix this?

I have an idea about that and I'm implementing it at the No Longer Virtual conference in February. Because the participation is limited to 50 people, every person will have the opportunity to meet the facilitators and other participants and truly connect. Think about the value of that roomful of advocates for you, your career, and your business. Participants will keep in contact via the No Longer Virtual Facebook group and via LinkedIn, solidifying not only the learning and motivation from the event itself, but the relationships that were built in those 48 hours.

Think about the opportunity. Think about the value. Can you afford to miss this?

Watch my enthusiastic interview about NLV with Chris Spurvey here:

Do You Value Yourself? How Much?

Do you value yourself? Do you value your professional and personal development? How much?

What is your budget for inspiration, encouragement, and solid strategy for improvement? I want to know, because I want to help.

"Hope is not a strategy."

Wiser words have rarely been spoken, and thanks to Trent Selbrede, those words are burned into my mind and have dramatically changed the way I write and think. Instead of writing hope, hopeful, or hopefully, I write intend, plan, and will.

"Fear is a liar."

This sentence is next in line in my current thought process, thanks to Trish Goff. When I find myself falling into my gerbil-like mind with circular thinking about what could go wrong, that is the sentence that I will into my consciousness.

If someone else had planned something like the No Longer Virtual conference, I would invest quite a lot to attend. As a matter of fact, I AM investing quite a lot to attend, and here's why:

The people facilitating these interactive sessions are some of the most competent, motivated, inspiring and inspired people I've had the pleasure to meet; I've only met one of them face-to-face. The people already registered are some of the smartest, most self-aware, kind, ambitious and motivated people I've met, and I've only met one of them face-to-face.

I know that to maximize my learning from these incredible people I must meet them face-to-face. It is worth the investment I'm making to have this experience because I know that -

what I put into it is exactly what I'll get out of it.

And I intend (not hope) to make this a life-changing experience.

I know that I need to continue to learn strategies to leverage my online network in my offline life. This agenda is full of topics I know will help me move my business and my life forward, and I know it will be worth the investment.

The question is, how much can you - should you - invest to avoid missing this opportunity?

Real Life in Real Time

Just imagine: You've been emailing, texting and talking on the phone with someone you met online. You feel so connected, the relationship feels real and true. It has been months and you've talked about everything under the sun, you've had weekly video chats, so you know her picture matches her profile.

Where do you go next? How long do you wait before you meet? Maybe you live thousands of miles apart, so you're trying to figure out how to meet somewhere in the middle. How long will you keep up this "virtual" relationship without meeting each other face-to-face? Do you have to meet? Of course you do! An online relationship can only go so far, right?

Here's another scenario: You've been talking about a beach vacation for years. You've never been to the beautiful beaches on the Gulf side of Florida. You look at pictures, you read stories, you watch movies that were filmed nearby. You reach out to contacts in the area and hear stories and descriptions of the white, soft sand, the bath-like temperature of the water, the bright blue-green of the ocean. But you still haven't SEEN it, TOUCHED it, EXPERIENCED it for yourself. You can only experience part of the story if you never actually visit, right?

Your online network is the same. How many years will you go without ever meeting those people you've been interacting with online? How long can a relationship withstand the distance? Without meeting face-to-face, an online relationship can only reach a certain level. To build trust and long-term value, at some point you have to meet.

No Longer Virtual is that opportunity. The entire structure of the event is interactive, engaging workshops so you have the opportunity to meet and get to know every person involved, including the facilitators.

This is not your mother's professional development conference. This is about innovative thinking, improving your relationships in business and life, and finally connecting the dots to connect beyond the keyboard.

It's time to #makeitreal at #NoLongerVirtual. Register today and meet me in Atlanta February 23 & 24, 2017!

I climbed a mountain to help you make your decision to come to NLV!

Lift Up Others, Learn, Grow

It was a day full of inspiration, one of those that just sticks with you. What seemed like small moments throughout the day keep coming back to me, much deeper and larger in application in real life.

The Helena Women's Leadership Network had their annual conference on Friday, October 7th. There were just over 100 women in a large room with a small stage and podium up front. To one side of the stage was a comfortably arranged sitting area, complete with a soft, plush leather couch and a side table. The sitting area was set up for speakers for each session to relax and support each other before standing in front of that incredible audience. That's just one of the many small details that made the day special.

My presentation on body language was scheduled in the first part of the day. I sat on the couch feeling more than a little giddy and very nervous. I was taking a big risk in my plan for my presentation, using props that could be fantastic at best, embarrassing at worst. It doesn't matter how many times I present to an audience, no matter how many times I sing for a crowd, my nerves exacerbate my essential tremors and I find my hands shaking. If I'm feeling that anxious, despite my years of experience, I realized as I sat next to the other women getting ready to take the stage, that they may be feeling even more of that rush of adrenaline. So I calmed myself, taking deep breaths, and focused my energy on providing comforting, peaceful energy for the women around me.

It's amazing how that focused energy and goal to help others changes things.

There were intentional themes for the event, the organizers selected the additional speakers based on their complementary themes with the keynote, Bonnie Milletto, and her messages of inspiration, service to others, and trust and belief in ourselves.

As much as I saw, heard, and embraced those themes across all presentations, there was another, more subtle one that I noticed and felt deeply. It was vulnerability.

Every woman who took the stage, no matter how practiced, how experienced, how successful, every one of us mentioned being nervous. Each woman had her own way of sharing that theme, one said that she hadn't eaten that morning, "which is why I didn't throw up." How's that for vulnerable?

Why is this important? Why is vulnerability such an essential part of who we are, no matter where we are in life? Because it demonstrates our humanity. Vulnerability is not about weakness. Vulnerability is about choosing to step out of our comfort zone and put ourselves into a place of unpredictability, it's about taking risks. Brené Brown has made a successful career of studying this concept and helping millions of people understand the value of vulnerability. She has made this part of our vocabulary in the professional world, and people are finally figuring out that demonstrating our humanity is actually a good thing.

Over the past few years I've had the opportunity to meet in person and online some absolutely incredible people. I saw Rickie Lee Jones in a small venue, sat right up front and interacted with her. One of my heroes, Whitney Johnson, author of Disrupt Yourself, published my writing as a guest on her blog twice in the past few years. And I spent time on the phone with Karthik Rajan, one of the LinkedIn writers I've admired (and, let's face it, put on a pedestal) for years. Here's the message I want to share with people: We are all flawed. We are all beautifully flawed human beings. No one is superior to another. Every one of us has something to learn from each person with whom we have the opportunity to interact. Every one of us has the ability, the responsibility to lead others by example in considerate, compassionate behavior.

Here's your challenge: Talk to people. Trust yourself, believe you have something to offer to every single person you meet. Never underestimate your value and your ability to serve others. Your words and actions are powerful, choose to use them with consideration, kindness, and compassion.

Thanks to the women who participated in the event, the day was full of inspiration and each participant brought the necessary energy to make it happen. A special thanks the board of the Women's Leadership Network for making this outstanding event happen.