Episode 135: Obstacles Can Be the Key to Building Resilience and Self Love
It's not unusual to have a "Series of Unfortunate Events" in our lives, those multiple years of trauma, grief, and struggle, that can either make us bitter, or help us develop resilience in a positive way, to become even more compassionate toward others.
Kerrian Fournier went through two of those phases, once in her early career, and again years later.
What is the Lesson? Your Life's Stories Create Your Identity
It's not unusual to have a "Series of Unfortunate Events" in our lives, those multiple years of trauma, grief, and struggle, that can either make us bitter, or help us develop resilience in a positive way, to become even more compassionate toward others.
Kerrian Fournier went through two of those phases, once in her early career, and again years later.
I often wonder what people see as their source of resilience, and Kerrian's is most definitely the motivation and determination to live a full life, and to demonstrate qualities of resilience, persistence, compassion, and courage for her highly intelligent daughter.
To learn more about Kerrian, visit her outstanding website, and connect with her on LinkedIn.
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Sarah Elkins delights in guiding individuals and teams to improve communication, using storytelling as the foundation of her work. She is a Gallup certified Strengths coach and uses that tool to coach her clients to improve their communication in all relationships, and to find more satisfaction at work and at home.
Her book, Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will is available on bookshop.org (supporting independent booksellers), and on Amazon. The audiobook will be available in fall 2020.
Episode 134: Using Labeling to Make a Positive Mindset Shift
As far as I'm concerned, Mareo's most striking quality is the calm, reflective way he speaks. His thoughtful, insightful writing has been in my life for at least five years. I am so grateful for his voracious appetite for books and learning because he constantly shares what he's learning and recommendations for reading material.
A Label Can Be a Positive Force in Your Personal Story
Mareo McCracken knows the negative aspect of labels like "troublemaker." He also knows the positive impact of being called a "peacemaker", which is the title his mother gave him as a child. It wasn't until he was an adult that his mother admitted he was the worst of her 6 children in terms of picking fights and antagonizing his siblings.
But after she started referring to him as "my little peacemaker", he started to live up to the label.
Labeling Theory (From ResearchGate): Labeling theory provides a distinctively sociological approach that focuses on the role of social labeling in the development of crime and deviance. The theory assumes that although deviant behavior can initially stem from various causes and conditions, once individuals have been labeled or defined as deviants, they often face new problems that stem from the reactions of self and others to negative stereotypes (stigma) that are attached to the deviant label (Becker, 1963; Lemert, 1967).
I had to satisfy my curiosity in the very beginning of the call. We've been connected for years on LinkedIn, and I never had a chance before to ask him about his unusual name. Mareo McCracken sounds like a mashup of Italian and Scottish, right?
It turns out that Mareo is a made-up name his mother came up with. It's not Italian, as you can tell by the spelling. And McCracken does come from his Scottish family, which immigrated to North America many generations ago.
As far as I'm concerned, Mareo's most striking quality is the calm, reflective way he speaks. His thoughtful, insightful writing has been in my life for at least five years. I am so grateful for his voracious appetite for books and learning because he constantly shares what he's learning and recommendations for reading material.
The lesson he left our conversation was this: Listen to those who love you and care about you. Not just one or the other, both. It was his wife who suggested he begin to share what he was learning when he was digesting at least a book each week, which is why Mareo began his adventure in blogging.
To learn more about him and to sample his outstanding writing, visit his website, and connect with him on LinkedIn.
Mareo reviewed my book, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will!
Got my copy of Sarah Elkins' book last night.
Only a few chapters in - impressed - it is powerful.
If you want to become a better leader for yourself and others, learn to tell better stories. #leadership
One of my favorite lines:
"Your stories don't have to be epic, they have to be meaningful."
Get your copy of "Your Stories Don't Define You"
Here: https://amzn.to/3dyPg6q
Episode 133: Choosing Yourself is a Vast Improvement to Settling for Less
Adolescent years are hard on anyone, to add challenges like moving to a new town and school, particularly as someone who naturally stands out, and you have serious potential for confidence busting.
Karyn Beach Loves the Skin She's In
Adolescent years are hard on anyone, to add challenges like moving to a new town and school, particularly as someone who naturally stands out, and you have serious potential for confidence busting.
Karyn is a force, and by her stories you can tell she has always been that way. But for many years, she struggled with confidence, and ended up in relationships that were just not good for her - personally and professionally.
She decided to choose herself and realized being by herself was far more pleasant and satisfying than sharing space with someone who didn't value and respect her. In fact, she loves being in her own company. And that's part of what makes it so wonderful to be there with her.
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Connect with Karyn on LinkedIn, check out her website, and be sure to catch her podcast, Fun. Feisty. Fabulous!
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"The choice of Sarah Elkins (as our conference keynote) was inspired. Her emphasis that we need to think more carefully as advocates about how we are perceived, that we need to demonstrate our values authentically (and bravely) so as to build trust, was perhaps more important than all the specific storytelling tools discussed.”
Sarah is a storyteller, communication coach, author and professional musician. Her keynotes and workshops are entertaining and engaging, because she uses storytelling as the foundation of her work. Her podcast, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will was named in the top 50 in 2019 in the category of emotional intelligence on player.FM, and her book of the same title is now available on Bookshop.org, Amazon.com, and Barnes & Noble.
Episode 132: The Hardest Hitting Drummer Knows He Can Always Improve
What keeps you humble?
"I know I can always be better than I am today."
After you've toured with John Cougar Mellencamp, Smashing Pumpkins, and Melissa Etheridge, you might also have to think about how to remain humble.
Kenny Aronoff is More Than an Extraordinary Drummer
What keeps you humble?
"I know I can always be better than I am today."
After you've toured with John Cougar Mellencamp, Smashing Pumpkins, and Melissa Etheridge, you might also have to think about how to remain humble.
Kenny's musical background might surprise you, he earned his percussion chops playing classical music, and studying in one of the most prestigious musical programs in the country. He was even offered a position with the Jerusalem Symphony Orchestra he finished college, but turned it down because he knew that wasn't the path for him.
On tour with Melissa Etheridge
Of course he has lots of great stories, and many involve celebrity rock stars, but my favorites from this conversation were about his family, where he grew up, how he prepares for playtime, and how he receives feedback and guidance.
Kenny writes EVERYTHING down when he’s preparing for a gig.
The complexity of Kenny Aronoff and his work might just surprise you.
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Kenny was named one of Rolling Stone Magazine's "Greatest 100 Drummers of All Time":
"Best known as John Mellencamp's hard-bashing drummer from 1980 to 1996, Kenny Aronoff is fully capable of banging out flashy fills — let's not forget the tumble that leads into the bridge of "Jack and Diane." But he's equally at home sitting in the pocket and keeping a sturdy beat. "[As the drummer], I'm the employee," he told Esquire. "My job is to listen, learn, lead. And I understand I'm not the boss." With a sixth sense for what makes music pop and the patience to take direction, he's ended up as a go-to studio beatsmith for the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Diamond, Eric Clapton, John Fogerty, Sting, the Smashing Pumpkins, Lady Gaga and tons more."
You can purchase Kenny's book, Sex, Drums, & Rock 'n' Roll on bookshop.org (to support independent booksellers) or Amazon. Visit his website to learn more!
Episode 131: Make Kind Loud - It's the Only Way Out of This Mess
Louisa Garrett used to rely on her sarcastic sense of humor to make people laugh. But when she saw herself through the eyes of her nieces and nephews, as a model for the behavior she wanted to see in them - and in others, she had an epiphany. Being sarcastic was not a kind sense of humor, sarcasm can certainly be funny, but it is rarely kind.
"It's Better to Be Kind than to be Funny" - Louisa Garrett
Louisa Garrett used to rely on her sarcastic sense of humor to make people laugh. But when she saw herself through the eyes of her nieces and nephews, as a model for the behavior she wanted to see in them - and in others, she had an epiphany. Being sarcastic was not a kind sense of humor, sarcasm can certainly be funny, but it is rarely kind.
As the youngest of a gaggle of kids, Louisa loved to be the center of attention. She’d do anything silly to make her siblings laugh, and developed a reputation for lightening difficult situations and conversations with her sense of humor.
Now, as we finally begin to address the issues of racism and bigotry in the most substantial way since the days of MLK Jr., Louisa has her work cut out for her. She knows that all any of us can do is be kind to each other, “stand in the gap” to support the efforts of our communities to address systemic racism and bigotry, and demonstrate the thoughtfulness and compassion we want to see in others.
You can learn more about Louisa by visiting her website, and by following her fantastic activity on Facebook.
Are you ready to find clarity? The next Finding Purpose through Your Natural Strengths course begins July 8, 2020, and runs for 8 weeks, every Wednesday. Schedule a call to find out if this course is right for you.
Episode 130: I Will Not Meet Hate at the Door, Lessons of Love and Forgiveness
What's really significant about Heather's words is that she backs them up with real action and and her behavior absolutely brings that message home. She chooses love, learning, and personal growth in response to the adversity she experienced as a child and young adult.
Stories of Love and Learning Through Adversity
Heather’s TEDx Colorado Springs - Transforming Adversity into Opportunity
Heather Younger is no stranger to adversity. Born to a white, Jewish mother and a black father, her mother's family was less than welcoming, and Heather grew up without any contact with the majority of that family.
What's really significant about Heather's words is that she backs them up with real action and and her behavior absolutely brings that message home. She chooses love, learning, and personal growth in response to the adversity she experienced as a child and young adult.
Now is the time for us to amplify messages like Heather's, to listen closely to her stories not to get angry or frustrated, but to learn how to hold space for learning and compassion for those who mistreat us.
Heather and I connected early in my LinkedIn activity, and we've had the opportunity to spend real time together - in person. She was one of the first to sign on to participate in the inaugural No Longer Virtual event in 2017, and hasn't missed and #NLV since.
I'm so grateful for her friendship, support, and incredibly inspiring way she speaks, lives, and loves.
Learn more about Heather by connecting with her on LinkedIn, visit her website, subscribe to her podcast, and be sure to watch her outstanding TEDx talk. You can also order her best selling book, 7 Intuitive Laws of Employee Loyalty on Amazon.
Episode 129: Travel IS Education, Academic, Personal, and Cultural
Stories as a Tool to Address Anxiety
Callie Kazakoff was surprised to hear from me, and even more surprised to be asked to be a guest on this podcast.
Callie Kazakoff, Student at Montana State University
"I'm only 20! What do I have to add?"
We met when she participated in my session in a day-long virtual leadership retreat. The topic was storytelling and personal brand, in the context of being intentional in the stories we share, particularly when we want to inspire action, or in client and job interview conversations.
Callie caught my attention when she briefly shared a story about stepping out of her comfort zone by signing up for a Semester at Sea study abroad programs, first semester of her sophomore year of college.
That was the timing of my semester abroad to Australia, and I knew she'd have fantastic recent stories of self-reflection, personal growth, humility, comfort zone expansion, and adventure.
She did not disappoint.
Callie's stories spanned from her unlikely decision, as someone who struggles with severe anxiety, to study abroad, to her recent "ah ha" moment in the middle of an anxiety attack while whitewater rafting for the first time.
She is a wise soul, and I see beautiful adventures in her future.