Episode 197: Stories of Those Things We Don't Talk About
How do we respond and connect with others when discussing difficult topics such as miscarriages?
Join Sarah Elkins and coach, writer, and speaker, Sandra Winterbach, as they delve into a human response to infertility and the related reactions and interactions with the people in our lives.
Sandra shares her experience with learning about who she is and the importance of self-reflection for her health, and the way self-reflection contributes to gratification in her life.
Communication Starts with Me
*Note from Sarah: We're just a few weeks away from publishing our 200th episode! If you're a fan of the podcast, we'd love to hear from you and include your words in the beginning of that episode. Simply email your thoughts to sarahelkins@elkinsconsulting.com, or record a short voice memo on your phone and email it to me. Thank you in advance for helping us celebrate this milestone!*
How do we respond and connect with others when discussing difficult topics such as miscarriages?
Join Sarah Elkins and coach, writer, and speaker, Sandra Winterbach, as they delve into a human response to infertility and the related reactions and interactions with the people in our lives.
Sandra shares her experience with learning about who she is and the importance of self-reflection for her health, and the way self-reflection contributes to gratification in her life.
Image of Sandra Winterbach with quote for podcast cover art
“I’m doing my work right now, mostly for myself...to find my way through this and to realize how my own health is intricately related to what I can do for myself.”
*Show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 196: Get Out There! Dance! Be Silly! Don't Face Regret
I remember being shy, I remember being more self conscious than I am now. I like to say I don’t regret, but there are definitely some moments in my past that I wish I could do over again. A lot of them involve sitting out a great song because I was self conscious about dancing. Opportunities flew right past me: To sing with great musicians, to dance, to swim in the ocean. The memories of that person, the girl who didn’t raise her hand to volunteer on stage, the girl who said no to a cute boy because she didn’t think she could dance, the one who was so concerned about how she looked or that she might mess up a note, those memories came back to me as I watched the woman in the audience look away from me. What a waste.
Mae West Said It Best: "I Only Regret the Things I Didn't Do"
*Note from Sarah: We're just a few weeks away from publishing our 200th episode! If you're a fan of the podcast, we'd love to hear from you and include your words in the beginning of that episode. Simply email your thoughts to sarahelkins@elkinsconsulting.com, or record a short voice memo on your phone and email it to me. Thank you in advance for helping us celebrate this milestone!*
Sarah Elkins quote and image for podcast cover art.
She was sitting on a bench in the corner of the room, watching people dancing and having fun. I could see her toe tapping, she seemed to be enjoying the music, but I couldn’t really tell because her face didn’t show any signs of a smile. I saw her the last time our band played at that venue, and remembered when she quietly came to me afterward to tell me how much she liked our band, and that if she knew how to dance, she would have. She was so shy.
I called out to her from the stage: “Come on out, dance with us! I can see you want to! Come on out and have some fun!” I motioned to my friends on the dance floor, smiling to encourage her.
Sarah Elkins performing on stage with Bob Schmitt and the band Rocket to Uranus
She looked behind her, assuming I was talking to someone else. And then she looked straight at me with zero expression. I gave up. A song or two later, I noticed she had left her spot and walked further away from stage, watching from a safer distance.
I remember being shy, I remember being more self conscious than I am now. I like to say I don’t regret, but there are definitely some moments in my past that I wish I could do over again. A lot of them involve sitting out a great song because I was self conscious about dancing. Opportunities flew right past me: To sing with great musicians, to dance, to swim in the ocean. The memories of that person, the girl who didn’t raise her hand to volunteer on stage, the girl who said no to a cute boy because she didn’t think she could dance, the one who was so concerned about how she looked or that she might mess up a note, those memories came back to me as I watched the woman in the audience look away from me. What a waste.
How did things change for me? With a little help from my friends. I was lucky enough to have friends to pull me out on the dance floor, to volunteer me to get on a stage, to tell me not to be scared. Now I’m that friend.
Rocket to Uranus on stage at Lewis and Clark Brewing, Helena, Montana 2019
At some point in my life, I realized:
It doesn’t matter if you do something silly, as long as you own it. The audience likes to see you laugh, and if there are hecklers, they really don’t matter.
The majority of the people in the audience want to see you succeed, they want to see you having fun, and many are thinking about how brave you are for getting up there.
I tell my friends, my coaching clients, my children, that they must step up when an opportunity presents itself. If, for just a moment, you think “wow, that looks like fun, I wonder what it’s like to…,” take it. Leave that self conscious person behind and take the leap.
Sarah Elkins quote and image for podcast cover art.
Living with regret is not living. When you don’t have the energy or physical ability to dance, you will be sitting in the corner, thinking “what I’d give to dance right now. I love this song.”
I hope not. I know I won’t be that person.
I’ll be the one holding the mic.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
Image of Sarah with dog, Toby, in the snow with Elkins Consulting logo and Gallup StrengthsFinder logo
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 195: The Shame Doctor's Gift
John Dunia didn’t become the Shame Doctor overnight. His journey from a junior high kid discovering his love for music to releasing his first book took years, and the struggle of his 22-year-old marriage falling apart was a catalyst in his personal growth and professional career shift.
He found writing his novel was a time to self-reflect and contemplate the experiences that brought him to where he is today, and believed that sharing those experiences could guide others to find relief from self-doubt and anger.
Stories of Shame and How it Differs from Guilt
John Dunia image and quote podcast cover art
John Dunia didn’t become the Shame Doctor overnight. His journey from a junior high kid discovering his love for music to releasing his first book took years, and the struggle of his 22-year-old marriage falling apart was a catalyst in his personal growth and professional career shift.
He found writing his novel was a time to self-reflect and contemplate the experiences that brought him to where he is today, and believed that sharing those experiences could guide others to find relief from self-doubt and anger.
The moments that sparked the passion in John’s life are something we all have encountered whether we realize it or not.
John Dunia book cover image and quote for podcast cover art
For John, one of those moments was listening to Switched-on-Bach in high school, an encounter that changed the course of his life. For John, different experiences, from meeting with a therapist to listening to his friend’s older brother’s music, influenced the way he perceived the world.
Today’s podcast episode starts with John’s stories about being a band teacher. This is the beginning to the discussion about John’s life and the moments that brought him clarity.
About John:
John Dunia is the author of “Shame on Me”, a Principle at Shamedoctor.com, and a public speaker helping others find their purpose. John is also an ambassador for HumansFirst, a featured writer & columnist for BIZCATALYST 360°, and a sales representative for several companies.
John attended California State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Music Performance. He also attended Pasadena City College.
Visit John's website, take his self assessment, and follow John on LinkedIn and Facebook to learn more!
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
ABOUT SARAH:
Image of Sarah Elkins and her dog, Toby, with Elkins Consulting logo and StrengthsFinder logo
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
194: There are Three Parts to Our Lives, and One is Undercover
She grew up in a solidly middle class household with little exposure to the underbelly of her community. As an undercover cop posing as a prostitute, Diane Halfman got a quick and unlikely education about that world.
She had to learn to trust her instincts and own her space, her power, and her current coaching clients get the benefit of her knowledge and experience doing just that.
Diane Halfman: Stories from Undercover
Diane Halfman quote and image, podcast cover art
She grew up in a solidly middle class household with little exposure to the underbelly of her community. As an undercover cop posing as a prostitute, Diane Halfman got a quick and unlikely education about that world.
She had to learn to trust her instincts and own her space, her power, and her current coaching clients get the benefit of her knowledge and experience doing just that.
Our conversations shifted between her experience tracking a serial killer undercover to her "ah ha" moment with a former boyfriend as she navigated a kidnapping ordeal with a friend. Diane shared intimate stories of how she became the powerful, insightful coach she is today, and why what she does matters not only to her clients, but to the circle of community her clients will influence.
Diane Halfman image and quote, podcast cover art
When you've listened to this episode of Your Stories Don't Define You, it may take a few days to fully process what you've heard. And when you do, you'll want to follow her work, subscribe to her podcast, and connect with her through her social media platforms.
Consultant, Trainer and Podcaster, Diane Halfman, utilizes her survival instincts from her work as an undercover prostitute to empower business leaders to move through crisis, manage boundaries and to not second guess yourself. She is the host of the Live Your SPAlife podcast. The SPA in SPAlife stands for Seek Power Always - that power within you to do your deeper work in the world.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 193: Hillary Johns "It's an Honor and a Privilege to be a Lawyer"
"I consider our country as a whole" is how Hillary Johns explains her appreciation and love for the variety of experiences our country offers. As a bi-coastal attorney, Hillary explores everything from entertainment law, civil litigation, business law, torts, employment law, to outdoors activities like hiking and camping, and even volunteers to work with animals.
Stories from a Multi-Faceted Attorney
*This episode was recorded while Hillary was in-transit, sound quality is limited.*
Hillary Johns quote and image for podcast cover art
"I consider our country as a whole" is how Hillary Johns explains her appreciation and love for the variety of experiences our country offers. As a bi-coastal attorney, Hillary explores everything from entertainment law, civil litigation, business law, torts, employment law, to outdoors activities like hiking and camping, and even volunteers to work with animals.
We spoke of the need for people who work hard in one aspect of their lives to take breaks and have hobbies complete outside of that particular work environment.
Hillary Johns image and quote for podcast cover art
It can be surprising to hear what people choose in that way, from fostering older shelter animals, to beadworking and fly fishing.
Hillary's career has taken some interesting twists and turns that I'm sure listeners will find inspiring and fascinating.
About Hillary Johns
Hillary Johns is a member of the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund. She works with the American Bar Association to provide legal services to military personnel. Ms. Johns has also served as a pro bono attorney and volunteer for local, statewide and national domestic violence organizations. She is a past alumni committee chair and current student mentor with Occidental College. She is a member of the Beverly Hills Bar Association and the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce.
Outside of her legal career, Ms. Johns was a competitive ranked soccer player and professional athlete. She is a licensed competitive youth soccer coach, and coaches youth soccer. Her interests include European and American history, competitive sports, fitness for people of all ages, and animal rights.
Episode 192: Authenticity Doesn't Mean Rigid
It was his search for happiness that took him down the road of dramatic changes in his eating, his thoughts about exercise, and his idea to start a podcast.
Trey Kauffman was on a mission, and it didn't take long, or very many episodes, really, for him to realize that happiness was the wrong goal. He had to search for meaning first. And when he gradually adjusted his mindset, his epiphany occurred: He could be happy with exactly what he had in his life in that moment, partly because everything he had and everything he was doing had meaning.
Some People Take an All or Nothing Approach to Change
Trey Kauffman and The Mosaic Life Podcast
Podcast cover art, Trey Kauffman image and quote
It was his search for happiness that took him down the road of dramatic changes in his eating, his thoughts about exercise, and his idea to start a podcast.
Trey Kauffman was on a mission, and it didn't take long, or very many episodes, really, for him to realize that happiness was the wrong goal. He had to search for meaning first. And when he gradually adjusted his mindset, his epiphany occurred: He could be happy with exactly what he had in his life in that moment, partly because everything he had and everything he was doing had meaning.
You are going to love this episode.
Podcast cover art, Trey Kauffman image and quote
Here are the links I promised:
Ernie Welsh, co-host for first 50 episodes. Aka Jimmy Suspect and his new EP, Bad News
Shawn Wells, genius in biomechanics and brain chemistry – episode 84, book title: The Energy Formula
Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer
The Scientist and the Spy – about espionage in the agricultural industry
Cynthia Garcia – first guest of 2021. She had such an amazing story, a difficult childhood, now is a celebrity nutritionist. Her message: We are fully capable of transforming our stories.
Ryan Holiday, author of Ego is the Enemy and Stoicism
Want to learn more about Trey? Check out his website, follow him on Instagram, keep up with his work on Facebook, and be sure to connect with him on LinkedIn.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
Image of Sarah Elkins with dog, Elkins Consulting logo and Gallup StrengthsFinder logo
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 191: After Happily Ever After, a Novel by Leslie Rasmussen That Hits Home
Leslie Rasmussen didn't intend to write a novel. Her idea was to interview people in their 40s, empty-nesting or nearly empty nesting, in long-term relationships or newly divorced, hearing their stories and finding commonalities in order to write a non-fiction book for people to find comfort in these transitions.
She found so many commonalities that she decided to combine the patterns she was hearing about to write the stories of one fictional family's experience.
This story resonates because it feels so familiar. Every character is familiar, from the teenaged daughter to the high achieving best friend. The primary protagonist is me. She's you. She's your husband or your wife. Though her actions and how she chooses to move through her current situation won't exactly match what you might do, the feelings and circumstances absolutely will.
We Have a Lot More in Common Than We Think
Leslie Rasmussen podcast episode cover art.
Leslie Rasmussen didn't intend to write a novel. Her idea was to interview people in their 40s, empty-nesting or nearly empty nesting, in long-term relationships or newly divorced, hearing their stories and finding commonalities in order to write a non-fiction book for people to find comfort in these transitions.
She found so many commonalities that she decided to combine the patterns she was hearing about to write the stories of one fictional family's experience.
This story resonates because it feels so familiar. Every character is familiar, from the teenaged daughter to the high achieving best friend. The primary protagonist is me. She's you. She's your husband or your wife. Though her actions and how she chooses to move through her current situation won't exactly match what you might do, the feelings and circumstances absolutely will.
Our conversation began with movie trivia... it turns out that Leslie started her career in Los Angeles as an actress. After her cameo appearance in a major film, she had an epiphany about what she really wanted, which was to be involved in filmmaking, but not necessarily as an actress.
Follow Leslie on Facebook, Instagram, and be sure to grab your copy of her book, After Happily Ever After.
From Leslie's website:
Leslie A. Rasmussen was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She graduated with a bachelors from UCLA in Communications and went on to write television comedies for Gerald McRaney, Burt Reynolds, Roseanne Barr, Norm McDonald, Drew Carey, and Ralph Macchio as well as The Wild Thornberrys and Sweet Valley High. Later, she earned a master’s degree in nutrition and ran her own business for ten years. Most recently, Leslie has written personal essays for online magazines such as Huffington Post, Maria Shriver and Sheknows. Leslie loves dogs and besides having two adorable Labradors, she volunteers at The Burbank Animal Shelter, in Burbank, California. Leslie lives in Los Angeles and has two sons, and a husband she’s been with since college.
This is her debut novel.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.