Mae West Said It Best: "I Only Regret the Things I Didn't Do"
*Note from Sarah: We're just a few weeks away from publishing our 200th episode! If you're a fan of the podcast, we'd love to hear from you and include your words in the beginning of that episode. Simply email your thoughts to sarahelkins@elkinsconsulting.com, or record a short voice memo on your phone and email it to me. Thank you in advance for helping us celebrate this milestone!*
Sarah Elkins quote and image for podcast cover art.
She was sitting on a bench in the corner of the room, watching people dancing and having fun. I could see her toe tapping, she seemed to be enjoying the music, but I couldn’t really tell because her face didn’t show any signs of a smile. I saw her the last time our band played at that venue, and remembered when she quietly came to me afterward to tell me how much she liked our band, and that if she knew how to dance, she would have. She was so shy.
I called out to her from the stage: “Come on out, dance with us! I can see you want to! Come on out and have some fun!” I motioned to my friends on the dance floor, smiling to encourage her.
Sarah Elkins performing on stage with Bob Schmitt and the band Rocket to Uranus
She looked behind her, assuming I was talking to someone else. And then she looked straight at me with zero expression. I gave up. A song or two later, I noticed she had left her spot and walked further away from stage, watching from a safer distance.
I remember being shy, I remember being more self conscious than I am now. I like to say I don’t regret, but there are definitely some moments in my past that I wish I could do over again. A lot of them involve sitting out a great song because I was self conscious about dancing. Opportunities flew right past me: To sing with great musicians, to dance, to swim in the ocean. The memories of that person, the girl who didn’t raise her hand to volunteer on stage, the girl who said no to a cute boy because she didn’t think she could dance, the one who was so concerned about how she looked or that she might mess up a note, those memories came back to me as I watched the woman in the audience look away from me. What a waste.
How did things change for me? With a little help from my friends. I was lucky enough to have friends to pull me out on the dance floor, to volunteer me to get on a stage, to tell me not to be scared. Now I’m that friend.
Rocket to Uranus on stage at Lewis and Clark Brewing, Helena, Montana 2019
At some point in my life, I realized:
It doesn’t matter if you do something silly, as long as you own it. The audience likes to see you laugh, and if there are hecklers, they really don’t matter.
The majority of the people in the audience want to see you succeed, they want to see you having fun, and many are thinking about how brave you are for getting up there.
I tell my friends, my coaching clients, my children, that they must step up when an opportunity presents itself. If, for just a moment, you think “wow, that looks like fun, I wonder what it’s like to…,” take it. Leave that self conscious person behind and take the leap.
Sarah Elkins quote and image for podcast cover art.
Living with regret is not living. When you don’t have the energy or physical ability to dance, you will be sitting in the corner, thinking “what I’d give to dance right now. I love this song.”
I hope not. I know I won’t be that person.
I’ll be the one holding the mic.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
Image of Sarah with dog, Toby, in the snow with Elkins Consulting logo and Gallup StrengthsFinder logo
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.