Episode 166: Compare and Contrast Doesn't Always Mean Compete
How many times have you listened to a story and wanted to jump in, interrupt, to share a story of your own? Is it because you think your story is better, more meaningful or entertaining? Is it because you want to connect with the person and you know finding something in common is a good way to do that?
When I read a recent article by my friend Tom Dietzler, and he posed those questions in the context of a story he listened to, I was intrigued and reached out to ask him to chat about that on a podcast episode.
Your Story Matters, But Not More Than Someone Else's
Tom Dietzler quote and image.
How many times have you listened to a story and wanted to jump in, interrupt, to share a story of your own? Is it because you think your story is better, more meaningful or entertaining? Is it because you want to connect with the person and you know finding something in common is a good way to do that?
When I read a recent article by my friend Tom Dietzler, and he posed those questions in the context of a story he listened to, I was intrigued and reached out to ask him to chat about that on a podcast episode.
ON FIRES, HISTORY, AND JUST LISTENING … told the story about Tom's deep dive into a 4 part series hosted by Lindsay Graham (not the Senator) on the The Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
As he listened to the details of the beginning of the fire, and even into the second part of the series, Tom desperately wanted to interject, to remind the narrator that there was another fire with even more fatalities and larger footprint at the same time, just 250 miles north of Chicago, in Peshtigo, Wisconsin.
It took him a while to even realize he was doing this, but when he did, he had to take a step back to figure out why. And that's the reason I wanted to chat with him.
When we listen to a story, it's easy for our own similar or related stories to pop into our heads. But what do we miss when we are too busy thinking of what we'll say next to contribute to the conversation?
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Tom Dietzler is a contributing writer for the award winning platform BizCatalyst 360. Connect with him on LinkedIn to receive notifications of his new posts!
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Sarah & her dog, Toblerone on Mt. Helena, Helena, Montana
ABOUT SARAH:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
5 Reasons to Attend No Longer Virtual
How often do you surround yourself with people who genuinely care about each other and their success? The people participating in NLV aren't there to sell you anything; they're part of something much bigger than themselves, and they embrace it.
I've been avoiding the listicle for years now; it seems putting a number in the title almost guarantees people will click on it. I find that kind of sad, but if that's what it takes to help people avoid missing a great opportunity, I'm willing to make the sacrifice.
We're working hard on the agenda to make sure NLV2018 is as inspiring, motivating, and engaging as #NLV2017 was. Sign up for updates so you don't miss early registration, opening in October!
5) Hotel Indigo, Downtown Denver
This city is a great place to explore, even in February. The location of the hotel makes it easy to get around without having to rent a car. It's a 40 minute train ride directly from the airport to Union Station, across the street from the hotel, and adjacent to the 16th Street Mall, which is chock full of great restaurants, shopping, galleries, and microbreweries. Hotel Indigo opened its doors in January this year, and is sure to be an outstanding, un-boxed, non-traditional conference host. Make it a longer trip and visit the area's world class ski resorts!
Dustin McKissen & John White enjoy an NLV2017 session
4) Entrepreneurial Development
Sessions include hard and soft skills, facilitated by people who really get it. If you want to be successful, you need to learn, practice, and maintain your people skills and your ability to leverage online relationships in your offline life. Even those with the best skills can use some reminders and time to practice truly connecting with an audience, whether that's a potential client, a current client, an employee, or members of your community.
3) No Keynotes, No Awkward "Networking", No Over-filled Conference Rooms
Why no keynotes? Because everyone in the room has something to contribute to every topic. Sessions are designed for interaction, to leverage the experience and insights in the room. No Longer Virtual uses the side-conversations and after-hours connections and makes them the foundation of the experience. With a registration limit of 50 participants, you can expect real value in content and interaction. As a good friend wisely noted, there's a difference between networking and building a network.
There's nothing like a Heather Younger smile!
2) Face-to-Face Meeting with Your Favorite LinkedIn Connections
This is your opportunity to meet some of your favorite LinkedIn connections face-to-face. There is no better way to truly explore where a relationship can take you and your business than to meet face-to-face. Articles have been written about the first #NLV, and the incredible experiences resulting from meeting face-to-face, find links below.
The number 1 reason to attend #NLVDenver, #NLV2018...
1) Surrounded by Curious, Perceptive, Honest, Generous, Intelligent People
How often do you surround yourself with people who genuinely care about each other and their success? The people participating in NLV aren't there to sell you anything; they're part of something much bigger than themselves, and they embrace it. This will be one of the most inspiring events you've ever experienced, not because of the outstanding content being delivered, but because of the people in the room.
Read some of the articles written by participants:
- Would You Travel 2461.9 Miles to Connect with Your LinkedIn Network? Amy Blaschka
- I came for content. I left with a tribe. Zach Messler
- Lessons from No Longer Virtual. Your Chance in 2018. Christian Farber
- And a Voice to Speak With, The Circle of Humanity Thomas Jackson
Don't believe me? Ask them in the comments below.
Join us at No Longer Virtual in Denver on February 22 and 23, 2018. Sign up to receive periodic updates, including early registration opening date... don't miss this opportunity!
Follow me on Twitter, @sarahelkins, and watch for the hashtags #NLV2018, #NLVDenver, and #NoLongerVirtual
Be a sponsor for No Longer Virtual 2018, contact me for details!
So THAT's What Mindfulness Feels Like
The wind seemed to stop. Everything around me was suddenly in hyper focus, silent, like a bubble of peace and comfort surrounding me. I was aware of everything but myself in that moment. My hamster mind was silent.
I stood at the edge of the trail, my face in the sun and my eyes closed behind my sunglasses.
My phone buzzed. A new text. I reached into my pocket and was about to pull the phone out, when I stopped myself. It can wait.
I turned my face back into the sun, feeling the warmth on the exposed part of my chest above my t-shirt, and the cool breeze chilling my calves below my running pants.
My phone buzzed again. Another text. I reached into my pocket and was about to pull the phone out, when I stopped myself again. It can wait.
Once more, I turned my head up toward the sun, but this time kept my eyes open, looking closely at the pine needles on the tree a few feet above my head. They were shimmering and gently moving in the breeze. I could hear the wind gusts traveling up the side of the mountain through the trees, a wave of sound getting louder as it moved closer to me at a crest on the hill.
Summit, Mt Helena City Park, Helena, Montana
I lost myself, just briefly, in the sounds around me. Taking my time, I inventoried my surroundings and my body’s response to the sun and the wind. I noticed the goosebumps on my legs, but didn’t feel cold. I noticed the warm sensation from the sun on my skin, in direct contrast with the goosebumps created by the cool breeze. The wind seemed to stop. Everything around me was suddenly in hyper focus, silent, like a bubble of peace and comfort surrounding me. I was aware of everything but myself in that moment. My hamster mind was silent.
When my father was dying, one word brought him great comfort.
The phrase refers to being present. It appears when G-d is talking to Moses and asks where he is. Of course he knows where Moses is, right? So Moses responds with “he-nay-nee”, or “Here I am.” He’s letting G-d know that he’s all-in, that he is present, aware, and ready to listen and learn.
When I visited my father a few days before he died, he would mumble the word over and over again, reminding himself not to be concerned with the past or the future, and to just be in this “in-between” space, with grace and mindfulness.
It wasn’t surprising that as I stood on the mountain in my bubble of silence, that word would resonate in my head. I said it out loud. I felt it. I believed it. Here I am.
He-Nay-Nee. Here I Am.
I’ve never considered myself a religious person, though we celebrate the Jewish holidays and find great value in the rituals; I’ve always felt a strong connection to nature, the people around me, and a kind of universal energy. I think that’s why I was so open in that moment, it was like a message, and I heard it so clearly.
As I jogged back down the mountain, thighs burning from the descent, I kept repeating the word. Every rock, every tree root, every turn in the path lit up in front of me as I ran, fully present, on that beautiful spring day.
When I stepped into my yard, breathing hard and smiling with satisfaction, I thought:
So THAT’s what mindfulness feels like.
Join me at No Longer Virtual in Denver on February 22 and 23, 2018. Sign up to receive periodic updates, including early registration opening date… don’t miss this opportunity!
Follow me on Twitter, @sarahelkins, and watch for the hashtags #NLV2018, #NLVDenver, and #NoLongerVirtual