439 Pivot Point: Revealed with the Right Question - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
You won’t be surprised to hear that I had another moment of inspiration on a recent hike…
This time it was about seeing meaningful, pivotal moments not as the experience itself, but in how we talk about it later.
You won’t be surprised to hear that I had another moment of inspiration on a recent hike…
Coliseum of Nimes, France 2018
This time it was about seeing meaningful, pivotal moments not as the experience itself, but in how we talk about it later.
In late August of 2018 my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to travel to southern France to perform with a jazz quartet at two venues. The first was in Arudy on the edge of the Pyrenees Mountains near the border with Spain. It was a sold-out community event attended by over 200 residents of all the surrounding small villages. Most of our audience didn’t speak English or had very limited experience with it.
The second performance was on the patio of a small bar in Eygalieres in Provence.
We had some serious challenges over those two weeks, some obstacles we couldn’t have anticipated and others we simply weren’t prepared for.
I had lots of meaningful moments, but most of them felt like lessons about what not to do, how to be more prepared for things, what to avoid in the future.
About a week after we arrived back home in Montana I had a call scheduled with a new connection I made on LinkedIn a few weeks before our trip.
At that point I had resolved not to talk about it because it felt like I could only share the obstacles. In my ears it sounded like I was just complaining about the adventure and ignoring the privilege of the experience, the honor of performing for audiences in those extraordinary places, like I was acting like a spoiled, entitled American.
Avalon, France 2018
But the first thing my new friend asked was: “How was the trip? I was thinking about you and hoping you were enjoying yourself!”
She heard the hesitation in my voice, the pain in my “it was fine” answer.
And she switched gears.
It was the question she asked next that was the pivot point, not necessarily my answer to it.
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Paris, France 2018
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
Have you been the person on the receiving end, asked a perfect question to shift your perspective?
Have you been the person to ask a question that positively changed something for someone else?
From previous episodes you may have a specific image of who I am, did today’s story shift that image at all? Did it fill in some gaps for you?
The stories we share say a lot about who we are.
What’s one story you can share differently to reframe the experience with more perspective and context?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
438 Pivot Point: Noticing Progress - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
Not every meaningful moment is big and dramatic. As a matter of fact, smaller moments can be even more electrifying when we take the time to notice them.
I had one of those moments last week when I performed as a backup vocalist and played my flute with the band of a friend and talented singer/songwriter at a local bar to a crowd of enthusiastic fans.
Not every meaningful moment is big and dramatic. As a matter of fact, smaller moments can be even more electrifying when we take the time to notice them.
I had one of those moments last week when I performed as a backup vocalist and played my flute with the band of a friend and talented singer/songwriter at a local bar to a crowd of enthusiastic fans.
We were on the patio and the crowd was much bigger for the last hour of our performance, so we pulled out our faster, more danceable tunes.
My friend called the name of the last song for the night and it was one I didn’t know. She counted off the song for the band to begin and I couldn’t hear vocal harmonies right away, so I started improvising on my flute instead.
I’ve been performing in bands for more than 15 years, but performing on my flute for an audience is still new to me. In 2020 when I picked it up after more than 30 years, I found sheet music and learned songs I wanted to play.
But this - improvising - is new to me and I'm still tentative as I find the notes and scales to fit the keys of each song.
The pivot point in this episode is my observation of myself that evening and the realization of my progress as a musician. It also applies to my journey as speaker and communication coach. I can look back and objectively say I did a good job with my keynote presentations, workshops, and coaching. I have the long-term clients and thank you notes as evidence.
I can see my progress over the past 5 years, I know I’m significantly better at these things than I was before.
And, even more importantly, I can imagine that in another 5 years I’ll be even more competent in my work, because I know I’m not done yet. I still have so much to learn, to practice, and to grow into.
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Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
Will you jot down a note so you can share a quiet, meaningful story with someone when the opportunity presents itself?
From previous episodes you may have a specific image of who I am, did today’s story shift that image at all? Did it fill in some gaps for you?
The stories we share say a lot about who we are.
What’s one story you can share to demonstrate one of your talents?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
437 Pivot Point: Grief and Kindness - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
“She stood up from across the aisle and walked over. Stopping in front of my seat, she said: ‘I can see that you’re struggling, and if you would rather I walk away, just say so. It’s just that it looks like you could use a hug, and I’m a hugger.’”
“She stood up from across the aisle and walked over. Stopping in front of my seat, she said: ‘I can see that you’re struggling, and if you would rather I walk away, just say so. It’s just that it looks like you could use a hug, and I’m a hugger.’”
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my life, an experience that shifted how I think about grief, and inspired me to be more compassionate with strangers.
I almost said no, but something about her made me think if I did, she’d never offer this gift to a stranger again. It was almost as if she was the one who needed a hug.
So I stood. She embraced me. And I cried.
I guess I needed her hug after all.
She held me for a few minutes, until my breathing evened out, and I thanked her as we parted.
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did my story remind you of something that happened to you?
What memory popped into your head when you heard it?
What did you learn about me as a person?
Did my story inspire you to pick up a pen and leave a note for someone you care about?
What’s your related pivotal moment?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
What did you learn about the characters in the story?
Did my story inspire you to do something differently?
Jot down a note so you’re ready to share your story when the opportunity arises!
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
436 Pivot Point: A Path-Changing Letter - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
Driving home from a volunteer shift at the Old Salt Festival near Helmville, Montana, I listened to the last hour of the book The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.
As I listened to the characters reflect on their lives to share with others via handwritten letter (and a few emails), I was reminded of the great conversation I shared on this podcast with Amy Daughters, author of Dear Dana.
As I mentioned in last week’s episode, I was recently inspired to change the format of this show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and what I’m learning about emotional intelligence through a course I’m taking.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
My future guests will be given a story prompt ahead of our call, and instead of a long, organic, multi-insight conversation, we’ll dive more deeply into a single story, pulling a thread and revealing a primary insight about the experience, and leaving space for you – our listeners – to remember your own related experience and pull a thread that has the potential to guide you toward deeper self-awareness.
I’ll be eager to hear your thoughts about this new format, so please don’t hesitate to send me a message via social media or email!
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my personal life, a long relationship that continues to influence my life and how I experience the world.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Correspondent by Virginia Evans
Amy Daughters, author of Dear Dana, speaker, humorist
Old Salt Festival, Helmville Montana
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did my story remind you of something that happened to you?
What memory popped into your head when you heard it?
What did you learn about me as a person?
Did my story inspire you to pick up a pen and leave a note for someone you care about?
What’s your related pivotal moment?
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
435 Pivot Point: A Moment of Doubt - a monologue from Sarah Elkins
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my business, a situation that had me questioning everything about the direction I had taken, the investments I made in time, energy, and money, and what transpired to get me through that experience to land on the other side with confirmation and a bit more confidence.
435 Pivot Point: A Moment of Doubt - a monologue from Sarah Elkins
In a moment of inspiration on one of my hikes, I realized that after more than 430 episodes, this show is overdue for a format change.
For the book I’m writing, a companion to my recently published TEDx talk, I’m exploring research around narrative identity, which is the way the stories we share influence who we are, and self-awareness as defined by present-day psychologists.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning, and my hope is that future episodes will offer additional insights for the book, my guests, and our listeners.
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my business, a situation that had me questioning everything about the direction I had taken, the investments I made in time, energy, and money, and what transpired to get me through that experience to land on the other side with confirmation and a bit more confidence.
“It was like being immersed in a foreign language, bringing me to a level of understanding and insight with this tool that I’m not sure I could have achieved so quickly in any other circumstance. It was amazing and exhausting.”
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did my story remind you of something that happened to you?
What memory popped into your head when you heard it?
What did you learn about me as a person?
Did you learn what I do without hearing it directly?
I can say “I’m a gallup-certified StrengthsFinder coach”, but that’s not meaningful and doesn’t give you useful information about what that might mean for you or for a friend you might refer to me, right?
What’s a pivotal story in your career?
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
387 Reframe Your AI Story featuring Michael Kollo
Michael's background and transition to AI @ 13:38
Michael reveals his unexpected background in the arts and theatre, and how he later transitioned into finance before becoming interested in the implications of AI. He shares insights about the resistance to change and adoption of new technologies within the finance industry.
Observations on AI adoption and impact @ 30:22
Michael shares two key observations about the adoption of AI: 1) Finance professionals initially dismissed the potential of machine learning, but then quickly embraced it for commercial reasons rather than scientific merit. 2) Highly experienced and successful finance professionals were often the most resistant to acknowledging the disruptive impact of AI on their industry.
Episode Highlights:
AI will be the next cautionary tale about companies and individuals who ignore new technology, rather than embrace it. (Think Kodak & Blockbuster.)
Don't think of AI as exclusively a technology tool, think of it as a writing and development tool.
Humans drive AI by desire, the "I want to..." AI doesn't create or change because it desires to do so.
Quotes:
"It's not 'how is AI going to change my industry', it's 'how am I going to use AI to change my industry?"
On the difference between an AI and human approach: “It's not so much a skills question, it's a will or a desirequestion, that I want to do something is not within AI's remit..."
Meet Michael Kollo:
Michael Kollo is a finance professional turned AI strategist with a PhD in Finance from the London School of Economics. With over 15 years of experience at the intersection of quantitative finance and technology, he has held roles at BlackRock, Fidelity, AXA, and HESTA.
AI represents the most significant shift in financial services since the rise of algorithmic trading. However, the real challenge lies in deploying AI to create tangible value. Through Evolved AI, Michael works directly with financial firms to ensure AI adoption is practical, secure, and aligned with industry needs.
Whether through executive training or micro-automations, he focuses on bridging the gap between AI capability and financial business objectives. Committed to making AI an augmentative tool rather than a black box, he helps firms navigate this transformation with clarity, strategy, and execution.
Follow Michael on Instagram and Connect with him on LinkedIn.
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out my Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
214: Slowing Down Time - the In-Between
It was in a recent conversation that I realized this about myself, that I am in a constant state of change and churn, and that I sometimes let that get me anxious and stressed. It's silly, since I know I bring this on myself. I could say no. I could turn down opportunities to sing, to speak, to mentor someone. But I love it. I love this feeling of change and growth, and none of the decisions I make are things I don't want to do.
Stories of Mindfulness to Address Uncertainty
Uncertainty Isn’t Always a Bad Thing, We Can Thrive Here
Many years ago, I read a post by Nilofer Merchant about what she calls In-Between Space,
Summers when you were young were the in-between spaces of learning – where you could languish in play time and know learning time was ahead... That time where you got a job offer but hadn’t started yet. Maybe even during the search for a new role. Perhaps it is as simple as when you are clear of a new direction.
I think of that post often; I live in In-Between Space, it's a weird sort of comfort zone for me. I rarely stay content in a job, a dynamic, a relationship. There has to be consistent growth and change in everything I do.
It was in a recent conversation that I realized this about myself, that I am in a constant state of change and churn, and that I sometimes let that get me anxious and stressed. It's silly, since I know I bring this on myself. I could say no. I could turn down opportunities to sing, to speak, to mentor someone. But I love it. I love this feeling of change and growth, and none of the decisions I make are things I don't want to do.
In StrengthsFinder, that is a direct reflection of my Activator and Adaptability talents. If you’re one of those people who struggles in meetings without good facilitation, meetings without a focus on action items, and you find yourself in an almost constant sense of urgency, you may be an Activator, too.
The combination of Activator and Adaptability means I spend a lot more of my days in transition, and a lot fewer of my days in periods of contentedness.
For most of my life that has been a disadvantage. You’ve heard the term “job hopper”, right? When I was starting my career, that was a seriously negative description. People close to me would voice concern every time I changed jobs: “that’ll look bad on your resume!”
But for the past nearly 3 years, this part of my character has been valued, appreciated. People have reached out to me for guidance more than ever. They know if anyone is going to deal with uncertainty with grace and optimism, it’s going to be me - or someone else with Adaptability in their top talents (though they may not know it.)
I realized a few years ago that though it’s not uncommon to find people like me, the majority of people prefer long periods of contentedness and short periods of transition - exactly the opposite to how I live my life.
During a recording of Lois Koffi’s podcast, Healthy-n-Wealthy-n-Wise, Lois asked me about that, how those of us without Adaptability up there in our talents can deal with all of this uncertainty with grace.
That’s where this “in-between space” reference comes in.
For most people, periods of uncertainty are uncomfortable, to say the least. Consider, though, the time between giving your notice at one job and starting the next one. Or the time of your wedding engagement, between the announcement and the event itself. Or pregnancy. Or the summer between school years… all of those are in-between spaces, full of possibility - and uncertainty.
My answer to Lois included two strategies:
1) Your mindset must shift to possibility as opposed to worry. Surround yourself with people who think differently from you, people who have complementary talents. Find an Activator, an Adaptability partner to bring you comfort simply because they will weather this uncertainty storm with optimism and action.
2) Find small routines or habits that bring you a sense of stability and comfort and practice them with intention. When your brain starts to wind up with the negative “what ifs”, practice looking for things that are certain, things that - even if they’re not great - are consistent in your life. This is what mindfulness is all about: Being fully present, in the moment. Tell yourself “right now, in this moment, I am breathing, I am sitting here with consciousness.” This isn’t just about gratitude, though that’s really helpful in this context, it’s about knowing what’s certain in a given moment. Here’s one of mine: “I’m certain that right now, in this moment, I’m safe, I’m warm, I’m not hungry, and my dog is peacefully sleeping beside me.”
When we acknowledge and value our in-between time, we are able to process a past experience and begin to consider the potential for our future.
If you have children or fur-babies, it’s a great way to slow down time so you don’t regret missing out on the limited years we get to spend with them.
When planning our wedding 25 years ago, I kept a journal to document all the details. I knew that by embracing and enjoying each part of the journey, I would slow down the time before the actual wedding day. I also figured that this strategy would help with the emotional let-down following a major event.
To slow down time, I need to stop thinking of each day as stressful or uncertain, stop trying to make something happen every moment, and start thinking about each day as an opportunity to enjoy the journey leading to whatever is next.
Are you an In-Between Space person, too? Do you embrace that side of you, or does it keep you frustrated and anxious?
Thank you for listening to the Your Stories Don’t Define You podcast!
There are still spots available for the fifth No Longer Virtual Conference coming up March 3rd and 4th, 2022 in Park City, Utah. Bringing entrepreneurs and innovators together in a small venue, limited to 40 people, to #connectbeyondthekeyboard, to learn from each other and grow in our personal and professional lives. Visit elkinsconsulting.com for more details and to view the fabulous agenda.
Are you facing a transition right now? A big birthday coming up, considering a major career change, retirement? Empty nesting or divorce?
Are you overwhelmed with the millions of opportunities that seem to be opening in our global community? Not sure where to start, what questions to ask yourself, and questioning what you’re even qualified for?
If you’re eager to start exploring and would appreciate a guide, my recently launched Discovering Clarity course is available now for just $149. I highly recommend that you register with a friend or group of friends to keep each other accountable, message me for a discount code for multiple registrations. Visit elkins consulting.com / discovering-clarity.
My friend Trent said this to me a few years ago: Hope is not a strategy.
Instead of "I hope this year is better" say "this year will be better." And then take steps to MAKE it better. In my work I call it planting seeds. Every day that my motivation drops I ask myself which seeds I can plant right. this. minute. to improve my future. I make myself choose two seeds, one for future income and one for the health of an important relationship. It's really amazing how much can change by simply taking small steps. But nothing changes if you say "I hope 2022 is better than 2021" and then do nothing to make that happen. What seeds will you plant today?