Your Stories Don’t Define You
How You Tell Them Will
A podcast to unlock your stories and uncover meaningful insights.
382 Images of Ourselves
It’s a sad fact of life that we internalize narratives that are made for us at an early age, we are told we are too emotional, that we’re too bossy, that we’re too big, and if we do not actively try to reframe or unlearn these narratives made for us, we are forced to live out a story someone else made up for us. It is our duty to reach out and take the power back for ourselves, to wield the pen as a mighty sword, and write our own narrative for the sake of our growth and inner peace.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Lindsey A. Lee, discuss the importance of becoming the person you want to be, showing up for yourself and those you love, and how vital it is for our growth as human beings to sit with the narratives we have about ourselves and decide for ourselves if these narratives are our own genuine thoughts and beliefs or if they were a planted idea.
382 Images of Ourselves
It’s a sad fact of life that we internalize narratives that are made for us at an early age, we are told we are too emotional, that we’re too bossy, that we’re too big, and if we do not actively try to reframe or unlearn these narratives made for us, we are forced to live out a story someone else made up for us. It is our duty to reach out and take the power back for ourselves, to wield the pen as a mighty sword, and write our own narrative for the sake of our growth and inner peace.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Lindsey A. Lee, discuss the importance of becoming the person you want to be, showing up for yourself and those you love, and how vital it is for our growth as human beings to sit with the narratives we have about ourselves and decide for ourselves if these narratives are our own genuine thoughts and beliefs or if they were a planted idea.
Highlights
Is the person you became, the person you wanted to be or the person you needed to be to survive?
How do you show up for the people who need you?
What stories and perceptions from others are you still holding onto?
Quotes
“My greatest performance was pretending to be okay.”
“There was emotion in my home, it just didn’t look like mine. It looked like yelling, fighting, and shutdowns.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
The thing that I want to ask you, you remember every time at the end of these conversations I’m asking you to consider something for yourselves. My dear friend Netty Owens asked me one time: What is the object in your image of yourself that you would like to hold on to? And I talked about the Hanukkiah, the Jewish candelabra that we use for Hanukkah. And there’s one candle that’s separated from the rest, so there are 9 holders, 8 for the 8 nights of Hanukkah, and the one is the leader candle or the Shamash. That candle is the one we light first, we say the first prayer and then we light all the other candles with that candle. And I like to think of myself as a Shamash, someone who knows that by lighting other candles I am in no way diminishing my own light and that when we light other candles we bring more light. And for that brief moment when we connect like Lindsey and I did, for two and a half minutes our flames were together which made that an entwined hyper bright flame, even for that one moment, and it changes the energy and dynamic in a room. Guaranteed. So I am asking you listeners, what is your image of yourself? Just like Lindsey wants to be radiant and exudes that radiance when she owns that language, what will be yours?
And, as always, thank you for listening.
Mentioned in This Episode
About Lindsay
Lindsay is a wellness mentor, educator, and founder of Honeydew U—a lifestyle platform helping women embrace authenticity, align with purpose, and heal through spiritual growth. She’s also the host of Honey, Do You!, a soulful podcast exploring wellness, spirituality, and womanhood. With a background in education, business, and holistic wellness, Lindsay empowers women to break free from expectations and live with intention. Through mentorship and transformative storytelling, she creates spaces where women feel seen and supported.
Be sure to check out Lindsay’s Facebook and Instagram! As well as her podcast Honey, Do You!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
381 Rock N Roll
Authenticity and living your life in a way that reflects who you are and how you hope to be perceived is something we all strive for, however it can be easy to forget that change and growth is a constant changing cycle, even from moment we are allowed and expected to invent who we are.
In this episode Sarah Elkins ruminates on when she joined the rock band she is apart of and how it has helped shape her authentic self as well as how important fun and joy is to the true sense self.
381 Rock N Roll
Authenticity and living your life in a way that reflects who you are and how you hope to be perceived is something we all strive for, however it can be easy to forget that change and growth is a constant changing cycle, even from moment we are allowed and expected to invent who we are.
In this episode Sarah Elkins ruminates on when she joined the rock band she is apart of and how it has helped shape her authentic self as well as how important fun and joy is to the true sense self.
Highlights
What is authenticity to you?
How do you portray your authentic self?
Untangling core values from the actions we believe are authentic.
How do you want to be known and remembered for?
There is no permanent state of the self.
Quotes
“I was still not rock and roll. I was wearing a persona on stage because it was fun not because it felt like me.”
“All that would have been missed if I had decided that my authentic self was not rock and roll.”
“What opportunities have you dismissed because they didn’t feel authentic?”
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
380 Breaking Cycles
We are hardwired to remember the stories that are far more painful and life altering, than the happier stories we lived. Perhaps it is our survival instincts or it is just easier to remember the bad, regardless it is important to sit back and truly think about how we frame our narratives using these experiences and decide for ourselves that this story is one we want to change.
In todays episode, Sarah Elkins and Erin Weninger discuss the cycles both of them have lived as women, business owners, and parents, and the difficulty that came with acknowledging and changing the destructive patterns in our lives
380 Breaking Cycles
We are hardwired to remember the stories that are far more painful and life altering, than the happier stories we lived. Perhaps it is our survival instincts or it is just easier to remember the bad, regardless it is important to sit back and truly think about how we frame our narratives using these experiences and decide for ourselves that this story is one we want to change.
In todays episode, Sarah Elkins and Erin Weninger discuss the cycles both of them have lived as women, business owners, and parents, and the difficulty that came with acknowledging and changing the destructive patterns in our lives
Highlights
You can do what is best for you, you only need to find the courage to reach out.
Everyone’s narrative is different, but you need to know personally when that narrative is false and harmful to you.
What lengths will you go to in order to defend your narrative? Is it really a narrative worth defending?
Be adult enough to acknowledge when you fail, apologize, work towards being better, and take accountability. It’s not the end of the world to admit when you are in the wrong.
Quotes
“I really needed that second falling out with my mom to have that feeling of; “Wow she really will go to extreme extents for self preservation at the expense of anybody else she might care about and love.”.”
“It doesn’t have to be an atom bomb to me just because I accept fault.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
You’ve already been asked a few questions. Think about how you’re modeling the behavior you want to see in the people around you. If you’re a parent, what are your relationship issues with your parents that may be contributing to relationship challenges with your children? Are you taking time to look at those patterns and maybe be honest with your kids about what you’re experiencing as a parent. And last but not least, I would love to hear your thoughts on Erin’s story, and how and why she should share it. If you believe that her words can be inspiring to others, I would love to hear from you.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Erin
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
377 The Art of Storytelling: A Controlled Burn in The Forest Of Life
Throughout life we have a tendency to collect things, whether they be stories, memories, or physical objects, and more often than not we cling to these things despite them no longer serving us in any meaningful capacity. Which is why it is important to sit back, look at your hoard and realize you are not a dragon who must keep every single piece of scrap. You can thank the item, story, or memory and leave it behind so that you can open up to new possibilities and new meaningful things to put in your life.
In todays episode Sarah Elkins educates us on the importance of controlled burns in the national parks of the west, as well as the importance of our own “controlled burns” to clear away the clutter and make way for new, healthy growth in our lives.
377 The Art of Storytelling: A Controlled Burn in The Forest Of Life
Throughout life we have a tendency to collect things, whether they be stories, memories, or physical objects, and more often than not we cling to these things despite them no longer serving us in any meaningful capacity. Which is why it is important to sit back, look at your hoard and realize you are not a dragon who must keep every single piece of scrap. You can thank the item, story, or memory and leave it behind so that you can open up to new possibilities and new meaningful things to put in your life.
In todays episode Sarah Elkins educates us on the importance of controlled burns in the national parks of the west, as well as the importance of our own “controlled burns” to clear away the clutter and make way for new, healthy growth in our lives.
Highlights
Protecting our future and our communities, means protecting our environment too.
Sometimes you need to shed the dead parts of the past in order to grow.
What strategies can you use to do your own “controlled burn”, to remove the things in your life that no longer serve you in a meaningful way?
Quotes
“Even in my life activities I’m finding I need to shed things like relationships that no longer serve me, relationships that don’t feel reciprocal at all, commitments that feel too obligatory and not meaningful. And work activities that aren't moving the needle for me in income or intrinsic reward.”
“A controlled burn requires research, planning, and a whole lot of patience.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with to much mental and physical clutter it might be time for you to take inventory too. Ask yourself the tough questions on what you truly need and want in your life and your home. And I hope you’ll take the next steps to research and plan and patiently reduce that clutter.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
As I mentioned I am celebrating my five year book-versary, starting today Your Stories Don’t Define You was published May 31, 2020. Starting this podcast was a wakeup call for me, I realized I was coaching my guests in sharing their pivotal moment stories, and they were finding great value in our time together, way beyond any promotional opportunity the podcast was offering. The book is designed to guide readers in collecting and sharing their stories with exercises and worksheets throughout. To celebrate my book-versary, I’m offering to sign and ship copies from Montana to you, and every purchase will include an offer for a 20 minute bullseye story mining session. In 20 minutes we will uncover at least one meaningful story for you to fine tune for you to use in your next interview, team meeting, speaking engagement, networking event, or maybe it’s a date.
I really appreciate your support over the years and this is my way of giving that back.
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
374 Passion and The Road To Fulfilling Success
When we were kids we all wanted to be something extraordinary. We wanted to be magicians, doctors, paleontologists, astronauts, ballerinas, but somewhere along the way some of us lose that sparkle. We get sucked into the everyday routine of work and taking care of those around us. However that spark is not lost forever, sometimes existing as a fleeting ember of ambition that only needs to be cultivated to turn into a roaring flame of fulfilling success.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Jimi Gibson discuss the importance of trying different paths in life and how there are many off ramps and back roads full of experiences to the destinations we want to reach.
374 Passion and The Road To Fulfilling Success
When we were kids we all wanted to be something extraordinary. We wanted to be magicians, doctors, paleontologists, astronauts, ballerinas, but somewhere along the way some of us lose that sparkle. We get sucked into the everyday routine of work and taking care of those around us. However that spark is not lost forever, sometimes existing as a fleeting ember of ambition that only needs to be cultivated to turn into a roaring flame of fulfilling success.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Jimi Gibson discuss the importance of trying different paths in life and how there are many off ramps and back roads full of experiences to the destinations we want to reach.
Highlights
You will always find a way out of a situation you are in.
Those who care about you and believe in you will support you through the difficult times.
Telling your own stories and the stories of others in a way that reflects who you are.
Quotes
“I was going through my Strength’s Finder and I was like, ‘I wonder where that came from?’ I believe we’re all born with these innate gifts.”
“Depending on the size of the audience, you want to connect with who is in the audience.”
“Everybody has their personal Abracadabra”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
Think about yourself as a six or eight year old and the thumbprint you would have left behind in a story like Jimmy’s, how would you decorate it? Would it be an artist? Would it be a musician? Would it be a nurse, or a doctor? Would it be a magician? Think back on that, and this doesn’t mean that you have to become that as a career, but what it does mean is that whatever it was that brought you satisfaction about that as a child, is what you need to be seeking now.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Jimi
Jimi Gibson isn’t your typical VP of Brand Communication. At Thrive Agency—a digital marketing juggernaut that’s dominated the Inc. 5000 for seven straight years—Jimi leads with a no-BS approach, helping businesses grow instead of just chasing sales. With 200+ sharp-as-a-tack pros, Thrive delivers strategies built on what works, not what’s pricey.
A digital marketer, author, magician, and TEDx speaker, Jimi sees websites as living, breathing machines that should constantly evolve to grow your bottom line. Using Thrive’s rigorous 215-point Digital Health Analysis, he ensures no detail is overlooked and no opportunity is wasted.
As a Forbes Agency Council member, Jimi writes articles that cut through fluff and deliver insights that matter. From his magician’s knack for creating unforgettable moments to his obsession with people-first business culture, Jimi’s work is about one thing: making sure businesses don’t just survive—they thrive.
Key Focus Areas:
Results-Driven Digital Marketing That Actually Delivers
Websites That Work as Hard as You Do
Finding Your Edge: Lessons from a Professional Magician
Thrive’s 215-Point Digital Health Analysis
Building Culture That Puts People First
Be sure to check out Jimi’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram! As well as his website Thrive Agency
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
373 Making Space and Time To Truly Enjoy Life
In life we will often be distracted with things we feel like we have to do: Go to University, get a normal job from 9-5, participate in every extra curricular activity that is presented to us, and in doing so we fail to take into account what we need. We need community, we need to experience the beauty of the world we live in, we need to live not just survive.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Joyce Perrin discuss the many adventures they both have lived through and the lessons they learned on their journeys.
373 Making Space and Time To Truly Enjoy Life
In life we will often be distracted with things we feel like we have to do: Go to University, get a normal job from 9-5, participate in every extra curricular activity that is presented to us, and in doing so we fail to take into account what we need. We need community, we need to experience the beauty of the world we live in, we need to live not just survive.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Joyce Perrin discuss the many adventures they both have lived through and the lessons they learned on their journeys.
Highlights
Even across the generations, across cultures, across the globe, we are far more similar than we think.
Choosing to create, contribute, and belong in community.
When consumed with activity, you will not know how to be at peace and love the world you share with others.
Savor the moments of teaching, do not rush it, you never know how much time you have left.
Quotes
“It’s not how much you have, it’s how much you share and give that really defines you.”
“I think these kinds of skills, and giving the children responsibility is a good thing. But what I’m seeing happen is the children are so busy with all their curricular activities plus their homework they have to do, they have very little time to do anything else.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
No matter what age you are right now, what is something that you are willing to do that you haven’t done before? What's something that’s been an itch for you that you haven’t been able to scratch? Because now is the time. Don’t wait any longer. Don’t face regret in your future. If we’re going to have the same conversation a year from now and you’re going to regret the same things you regret now, then something needs to change.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Joyce
Joyce Perrin’s early fascination with the 1950s Lands and Peoples book series sparked a lifelong curiosity about different countries and cultures. When she represented Canada at an international Girl Guide camp at age 17 and met her role model, Lady Baden-Powell, Baden-Powell's quote, “Happiness comes not from what we have but from what we give and what we share,” became her guiding light.
Her nursing career led her into hospital administration and consulting. Still, a life change prompted her to pack up all her belongings at age 57 and embark on a solo global journey across 187 countries and territories. After many years of amazing adventures, she settled in Panama, where she co-founded the Panama Hospice and Respite Foundation.
Returning to Canada at age 80, despite several health challenges, including blindness in one
eye and breast cancer, Joyce published her book Ants in My Pants: One Woman’s Unexpected Adventures Across Seven Continents. Now 88, she resides in Pickering, just east of Toronto, and finds purpose in
supporting fellow cancer survivors, volunteering with health teams and encouraging people, through her
book and speaking engagements, to pursue their passions, no matter their age.
Be sure to check out Joyce’s LinkedIn and Facebook! As well as her Website!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
372 The Art of Storytelling: Connection Over Persuasion, One Relationship At A Time
Time makes a folktale of the storyteller, and yet even hundreds if not thousands of years later, the stories that mattered -that we connect with- endure. To tell a story effectively means you need to connect with the person who is listening to you.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Jeff Ikler discuss the importance of genuine connection over persuasion in the art of storytelling, and how it is far more meaningful to build a bridge between one another, rather than forcing them to choose one side of the river.
372 The Art of Storytelling: Connection Over Persuasion, One Relationship At A Time
Time makes a folktale of the storyteller, and yet even hundreds if not thousands of years later, the stories that mattered -that we connect with- endure. To tell a story effectively means you need to connect with the person who is listening to you.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Jeff Ikler discuss the importance of genuine connection over persuasion in the art of storytelling, and how it is far more meaningful to build a bridge between one another, rather than forcing them to choose one side of the river.
Highlights
What is something you can do to further your goals that relies on your strengths and your toolsets?
Who inspired you recently to continue your work?
What stories are you carrying with you? And what do you have that reminds you of that story?
Quotes
“Everybody was being vulnerable, they were telling deeply personal stories and it was like they were letting us in before we had really been introduced.”
“If you persuade, fine, but it’s more important to connect.”
“And I am privileged to have sat at that dining room table.”
“I loved feeding you at that dining room table.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What stories can you tell to make a meaningful connection? What objects or unknown facts about yourself are you willing to share to strengthen the bonds of fellowship between you and another? Try to tell your next stories, not with the intent to persuade, but with the intent to make a meaningful connection with the person in front of you.”
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Jeff
Jeff Ikler is Director of Quetico Career and Leadership Coaching, a firm dedicated to helping individuals overcome career issues and develop sustained changes in their leadership practices and organizations. He received his certificate in coaching from the Coach Training Institute. He is a certified innovation facilitator using the SIT (Systematic Inventive Thinking) process. Jeff holds a Master’s in the Teaching of History along with a Bachelor’s in History from the University of Illinois. He taught high school history in Maywood and Batavia, Illinois, for seven years. He is a former Executive Vice President at Pearson Learning where he directed the development of text- and technology-based products for all disciplines. Jeff is a co-author of Shifting: How School Leaders Can Create a Culture of Change. He is the host the “Getting Unstuck – Cultivating Curiosity” podcast. Supporting the agency of others is the river that has run through his entire career.
Be sure to check out JEff’s LinkedIn as well as Quetico Coaching and Consulting!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!