448 Pivot Point: Revealing Stories By Building Relationships with Terry Rubin
"But every time they had different stories to tell... about how they reflect on this, how they've grown, how they've become more forgiving, things like that."
Early in his career, Terry Rubin worked for The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour in New York City and was sent to Oklahoma City within 24 hours of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995.
His job was to find the stories, connect with the right people to interview, and manage the details of coordinating crew and journalists to interview people onsite.
He found a bombed-out church near the site, its beautiful stained glass windows completely shattered, and the stories just started to flow. The relationships Terry developed deepened over time, and the crew returned to that community weeks and months later, hearing how their experience continued to shape their lives.
The stories evolved over time, incorporating more memories, hearing the experiences of others nearby, and with more perspective on how those events changed their lives forever.
That's the thing about these big events we experience and hear about: There are millions of stories that come out of them. Each individual has their own perception of events, each person's life changes in small and significant ways that we can't recognize until years later.
Those pivotal moments don't necessarily happen at that moment in time. They happen when we look back from a different perspective, when we notice our own courage and resilience, when we realize how our relationships with ourselves and others shifted.
As Terry and I talked about his experience then, I was transported to where I was on that day and the way that event changed our communities after. I wasn't there in Oklahoma City, I don't have a direct connection to the tragedy. But I do have stories related to it, and they're relevant and meaningful.
The "where were you when...?" questions can bring deep connection, as long we are open to the ripple effects of events and not comparing our experiences in a way that judges them for proximity.
Listeners, now it's your turn:
Did our stories remind you of your answers to the "where were you when..." question?
Can you see now how those experiences shaped your current worldview?
Can you find a meaningful moment that was a direct result of each of those experiences?
What do those moments offer in terms of lessons for you?
Key Takeaways
Pivotal Story: A last-minute assignment to the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing coverage launched Terry Rubin's career, accelerating his promotion to field producer at age 29.
Core Insight: The experience taught Rubin that meaningful stories are found in small, human moments (e.g., a pastor's resolve, a child's song), not just the epic events themselves.
Business Application: This insight now drives Rubin's work at The Professional Communicators, where he helps clients use strategic storytelling to make abstract business concepts tangible and build stronger connections with their intended audience.
As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking.
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Terry:
I am the Co-founder/co-owner of the Professional Communicators, a communication training, coaching, and consulting firm. We have been in business for 9 years, and worked with almost 200 clients and thousands of executives, mid level managers, and sales teams helping them improve their public speaking and communication skills. Prior I was a Journalist for the PBS NewsHour for 20 plus years and a high School Speech and Debate coach.
My current work combines the best of those worlds as I help people tell their stories and be better communicators.
Whether complicated technical information, loads of data, or wanting to be motivational and call people to action, I help people reach their communication goals. I am married to an amazing wife and have two fantastic kids who are 7 and 9. I am a huge Indiana University sports fan and love the performing arts.
Visit Terry's website to learn more, and connect with him on LinkedIn to see the great content he shares on that platform.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.