218: How Does Identity Change? What Stories Delineate the Before & After
Jenifer Gursky: Breaking the Box
Jenifer Gursky didn't show up as a missionary in Cambodia with clear knowledge of its history or the trauma its people had recently endured.
And she didn't show up as a Montana state legislator with a clear delineation between her faith and her politics.
And that's the beauty of the complexity of humanity.
Jenifer Gursky: Breaking the Box
Jenifer Gursky didn't show up as a missionary in Cambodia with clear knowledge of its history or the trauma its people had recently endured.
And she didn't show up as a Montana state legislator with a clear delineation between her faith and her politics.
And that's the beauty of the complexity of humanity.
Listen to the latest episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You where Sarah Elkins is joined by the Executive Director of YWCA, Jenifer Gursky. Jenifer shares her story- or rather how she broke the structure in order to discover her true identity.
Highlights from this episode include:
Jenifer’s captivating story.
Moments of clarity.
Learning to break free from the box/structure.
Listen to the latest episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You today!
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available and sign up for the No Longer Virtual 2022 Conference.
“I moved to Helena where I got to actually explore what my identity was, not what I thought the boxes were… Now I’m finally navigating what that looks like for me.”
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
ABOUT JENIFER:
Jenifer is the Executive Director of YWCA Helena. She attended the University of Montana where she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and Government.
Visit Jenifer’s LinkedIn and the YWCA Helena Website to learn more!
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
217: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Stories as Clues to Job Decisions
In this special episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You guest speaker and Human Resources and Organization Development expert, Karen Elkins Cohen provides insight into deciding whether it is time or not to move onto a new opportunity.
Guest Host Karen Elkins Cohen Shares Stories of Seeing the Writing On the Wall
Is it time to leave your job? When do we know it’s time for a change?
In this special episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You guest speaker and Human Resources and Organization Development expert, Karen Elkins Cohen provides insight into deciding whether it is time or not to move onto a new opportunity.
Listen in as Karen lists and explains the three main points in understanding when a shift in employers is needed.
Highlights from this episode include:
Gaining clarity over work mistakes.
Scheduling conflicts at your job.
Dealing with conflict within leadership.
Listen to the latest episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You today!
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available and sign up for the No Longer Virtual 2022 Conference.
“But because she lacked any sort of humility, the coaching her supervisor provided was passing her by. She firmly believed she was an expert in her work tasks who did them correctly- despite her supervisors' clear directions.”
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
About Karen:
Karen is a Human Resources and Organization Development expert with more than 20 years of human resources experience. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Communication Disorders for the University of Northern Colorado and a Master’s degree in Organization Development from the University of San Francisco.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
216: Parenting is a Story All Its Own, How Are You Sharing Yours?
A Child’s Mental Health is Dependent on their Caregiver’s Mental Health
Is therapy beneficial to parents and their children? How can it help parents become the best that they can be?
Join in as Sarah Elkins and Leah Ore ponder the strength in parenting and the tools parents need to best suit their child. Stories such as the difference between Sarah managing a tantrum vs. her husband and Leah’s response to their individual strengths are discussed.
Highlights from this episode include:
Different parenting styles and their great value to kids.
Importance of a support system.
Leah’s journey to becoming a therapist.
Listen to the latest episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You today!
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available and sign up for the No Longer Virtual 2022 Conference.
“A lot of us will look at other people [parents] and see there are so many ways to do it [parenting]. It's easy to compare yourself to them. It's important to ask, 'What am I good at?'.”
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
About Leah:
Leah is a mother of two and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who is passionate about helping parents become their best selves to live fulfilling lives with their children. She has almost exclusively worked with children and families her entire career and believes that happier healthier parents raise happier healthier kids.
She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music (live and otherwise), walking, and hiking. Leah is an extroverted introvert and has a gift for seeing the good in people.
Visit Leah’s website and Strength in Parenting course.
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ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
215: Not What You Expected
Now you're on the plane, and you can hardly sit still with the excitement and anticipation. Eventually you fall asleep, dreaming of the Eiffel Tower. You feel the plane jolt as it lands, and in a strange accent you hear from the cockpit:
Welcome to Hong Kong!
Even Tragic Stories Leave Room for Beauty and Potential
How do your stories, even the most tragic, give insight into who you are as a person?
In this insightful episode, Sarah Elkins discusses changing your perspective through the stories you experience and how to embrace a new reality. Even if it comes from the unexpected. Sarah outlines the main points of building a story- the characters, audience, conflict- to improve a story’s value and purpose. If you’re searching to enhance your conversations and perception of yourself this episode might be just what you need!
To learn more about the article Sarah references in this episode, visit the author, Emily Perl Kingsley’s website.
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available!
Sign up for the No Longer Virtual 2022 Conference.
"Your most insightful and inspiring stories come from unexpected situations."
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
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ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
214: Slowing Down Time - the In-Between
It was in a recent conversation that I realized this about myself, that I am in a constant state of change and churn, and that I sometimes let that get me anxious and stressed. It's silly, since I know I bring this on myself. I could say no. I could turn down opportunities to sing, to speak, to mentor someone. But I love it. I love this feeling of change and growth, and none of the decisions I make are things I don't want to do.
Stories of Mindfulness to Address Uncertainty
Uncertainty Isn’t Always a Bad Thing, We Can Thrive Here
Many years ago, I read a post by Nilofer Merchant about what she calls In-Between Space,
Summers when you were young were the in-between spaces of learning – where you could languish in play time and know learning time was ahead... That time where you got a job offer but hadn’t started yet. Maybe even during the search for a new role. Perhaps it is as simple as when you are clear of a new direction.
I think of that post often; I live in In-Between Space, it's a weird sort of comfort zone for me. I rarely stay content in a job, a dynamic, a relationship. There has to be consistent growth and change in everything I do.
It was in a recent conversation that I realized this about myself, that I am in a constant state of change and churn, and that I sometimes let that get me anxious and stressed. It's silly, since I know I bring this on myself. I could say no. I could turn down opportunities to sing, to speak, to mentor someone. But I love it. I love this feeling of change and growth, and none of the decisions I make are things I don't want to do.
In StrengthsFinder, that is a direct reflection of my Activator and Adaptability talents. If you’re one of those people who struggles in meetings without good facilitation, meetings without a focus on action items, and you find yourself in an almost constant sense of urgency, you may be an Activator, too.
The combination of Activator and Adaptability means I spend a lot more of my days in transition, and a lot fewer of my days in periods of contentedness.
For most of my life that has been a disadvantage. You’ve heard the term “job hopper”, right? When I was starting my career, that was a seriously negative description. People close to me would voice concern every time I changed jobs: “that’ll look bad on your resume!”
But for the past nearly 3 years, this part of my character has been valued, appreciated. People have reached out to me for guidance more than ever. They know if anyone is going to deal with uncertainty with grace and optimism, it’s going to be me - or someone else with Adaptability in their top talents (though they may not know it.)
I realized a few years ago that though it’s not uncommon to find people like me, the majority of people prefer long periods of contentedness and short periods of transition - exactly the opposite to how I live my life.
During a recording of Lois Koffi’s podcast, Healthy-n-Wealthy-n-Wise, Lois asked me about that, how those of us without Adaptability up there in our talents can deal with all of this uncertainty with grace.
That’s where this “in-between space” reference comes in.
For most people, periods of uncertainty are uncomfortable, to say the least. Consider, though, the time between giving your notice at one job and starting the next one. Or the time of your wedding engagement, between the announcement and the event itself. Or pregnancy. Or the summer between school years… all of those are in-between spaces, full of possibility - and uncertainty.
My answer to Lois included two strategies:
1) Your mindset must shift to possibility as opposed to worry. Surround yourself with people who think differently from you, people who have complementary talents. Find an Activator, an Adaptability partner to bring you comfort simply because they will weather this uncertainty storm with optimism and action.
2) Find small routines or habits that bring you a sense of stability and comfort and practice them with intention. When your brain starts to wind up with the negative “what ifs”, practice looking for things that are certain, things that - even if they’re not great - are consistent in your life. This is what mindfulness is all about: Being fully present, in the moment. Tell yourself “right now, in this moment, I am breathing, I am sitting here with consciousness.” This isn’t just about gratitude, though that’s really helpful in this context, it’s about knowing what’s certain in a given moment. Here’s one of mine: “I’m certain that right now, in this moment, I’m safe, I’m warm, I’m not hungry, and my dog is peacefully sleeping beside me.”
When we acknowledge and value our in-between time, we are able to process a past experience and begin to consider the potential for our future.
If you have children or fur-babies, it’s a great way to slow down time so you don’t regret missing out on the limited years we get to spend with them.
When planning our wedding 25 years ago, I kept a journal to document all the details. I knew that by embracing and enjoying each part of the journey, I would slow down the time before the actual wedding day. I also figured that this strategy would help with the emotional let-down following a major event.
To slow down time, I need to stop thinking of each day as stressful or uncertain, stop trying to make something happen every moment, and start thinking about each day as an opportunity to enjoy the journey leading to whatever is next.
Are you an In-Between Space person, too? Do you embrace that side of you, or does it keep you frustrated and anxious?
Thank you for listening to the Your Stories Don’t Define You podcast!
There are still spots available for the fifth No Longer Virtual Conference coming up March 3rd and 4th, 2022 in Park City, Utah. Bringing entrepreneurs and innovators together in a small venue, limited to 40 people, to #connectbeyondthekeyboard, to learn from each other and grow in our personal and professional lives. Visit elkinsconsulting.com for more details and to view the fabulous agenda.
Are you facing a transition right now? A big birthday coming up, considering a major career change, retirement? Empty nesting or divorce?
Are you overwhelmed with the millions of opportunities that seem to be opening in our global community? Not sure where to start, what questions to ask yourself, and questioning what you’re even qualified for?
If you’re eager to start exploring and would appreciate a guide, my recently launched Discovering Clarity course is available now for just $149. I highly recommend that you register with a friend or group of friends to keep each other accountable, message me for a discount code for multiple registrations. Visit elkins consulting.com / discovering-clarity.
My friend Trent said this to me a few years ago: Hope is not a strategy.
Instead of "I hope this year is better" say "this year will be better." And then take steps to MAKE it better. In my work I call it planting seeds. Every day that my motivation drops I ask myself which seeds I can plant right. this. minute. to improve my future. I make myself choose two seeds, one for future income and one for the health of an important relationship. It's really amazing how much can change by simply taking small steps. But nothing changes if you say "I hope 2022 is better than 2021" and then do nothing to make that happen. What seeds will you plant today?
213: What Are Your Best Mentor Stories?
What can we learn from our bosses? What does leadership amongst women look like?
In this special episode of Your Stories Don’t Define, How You Tell Them Will, Sarah is joined by Women’s Leadership Network Helena’s Marley, Danyel, and Ashley as they discuss the impact their bosses have had in their work and lives, whether it be good or bad.
When We Share Our Best Mentor Stories, We Become Better Mentors
What can we learn from our bosses? What does leadership amongst women look like?
In this special episode of Your Stories Don’t Define, How You Tell Them Will, Sarah is joined by Women’s Leadership Network Helena’s Marley, Danyel, and Ashley as they discuss the impact their bosses have had in their work and lives, whether it be good or bad.
“Take yourself less seriously. I think that’s a mistake many of us make is that we start taking ourselves too seriously and that’s what’s stressing us out. If we can walk in and be like ‘I’m just gonna be who I am’ and not worry as much.”
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available!
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
212: Micro Adjustments For The Win
Most of us would like to improve ourselves- the way we are viewed by others and the inner voice in our head that guides us to decisions.
During this episode, you will learn more about how small things can make a huge difference. Listen in as Sarah shares her stories, the small adjustments that lead to bigger changes in her relationships with family and friends.
Want A Change In Your Life? Make Small Adjustments to Shift Your Story
Most of us would like to improve ourselves- the way we are viewed by others and the inner voice in our head that guides us to decisions.
During this episode, you will learn more about how small things can make a huge difference. Listen in as Sarah shares her stories, the small adjustments that lead to bigger changes in her relationships with family and friends.
Tune in to begin your journey towards your authentic self.
Discovering Clarity One Bite at a Time course is now available!
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.