301 Sharing Meaningful Stories To Portray Your Values and Skills
Storytelling has been a part of human culture since we lived in caves, from stories of great heroes to warnings not to go into dangerous places, knowing how to tell stories has been vital to our existence more now than ever. Knowing how to tell stories and knowing what meaningful stories to share is a skill that is important to hone and practice daily.
In this episode Sarah Elkins shares another meaningful story that exemplifies her values and skills as a professional and person, while also telling stories about others in her life and how through these stories show their own values and talents.
301 Sharing Meaningful Stories To Portray Your Values and Skills
Storytelling has been a part of human culture since we lived in caves, from stories of great heroes to warnings not to go into dangerous places, knowing how to tell stories has been vital to our existence more now than ever. Knowing how to tell stories and knowing what meaningful stories to share is a skill that is important to hone and practice daily.
In this episode Sarah Elkins shares another meaningful story that exemplifies her values and skills as a professional and person, while also telling stories about others in her life and how through these stories show their own values and talents.
Highlights
Practicing what you teach others is one of the many keys to success, if others see you take your own advice they will feel more inclined to use it.
Telling your stories about your talents and skills is far more important than you think.
Everyone benefits from healthy communication and knowing how to share stories.
Quotes
“As great as it is to have the confirmation of these experts, to know the research and neuroscience is catching up, it’s even more confirmation for me that what I’m doing is practical, useful, and relevant. There’s room for me.”
“I explained that professionals that can share compelling, entertaining stories that demonstrate their skills are more likely to be invited to apply for internal positions.”
“You see, story sharing isn’t just for leaders of organizations, story sharing is how you can become a leader wherever you happen to sit.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
I just shared a story of a meaningful moment in my day and you, my listener, picked up all kinds of clues about who I am. When you share a meaningful moment in your day you are amplifying particular aspects of your personality and your values. I urge you to make your stories the kind that attract the people you want in your life.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
246: How Your Authentic Self Changes With Time
As we journey through life, conflict and confrontation of the self is inevitable, but it is how we face these challenges that reveal our most authentic selves.
Episode 246: How Your Authentic Self Changes With Time
As we journey through life, conflict and confrontation of the self is inevitable, but it is how we face these challenges that reveal our most authentic selves.
In this episode, Sarah Elkins and her guest Lisa Lackey discuss this idea, as well as what authenticity means to them and how it is something that can change with time.
Highlights
Authenticity is fluid and ever changing.
We can't be everything all at once.
Face challenges and pursue your dreams.
Quotes
Authenticity is malleable, it is not this rigid thing. You have to allow space for transformation, and if you have this rigid idea of your authentic self then there is no room for transformation
We can't be everything all at once, we can be what we want to be but we can't do it all at the same time.
I didn't know where I belonged, and I still don't know where I belong, and I have to constantly give myself permission to be able to sit in that and be okay with that. I ask myself, "what do I need?" and "what do I need to make myself feel like I fit in?" and "Is it okay to not fit in?"
About Lisa Lackey from her LinkedIn profile:
After a successful career in the entertainment industry beginning in my home country of Australia and spanning over 20 years here in the U.S, along with a life changing volunteer opportunity in Ghana, West Africa, I am excited to continue my work in this new and purposeful career focusing on social impact. Based in Los Angeles, I strive to be a vehicle for change, and I look forward to many more opportunities to align myself with the those who are rethinking how we can alleviate poverty especially as it pertains to the empowerment of women, and youth, locally and internationally.
About Sarah Elkins
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Show Notes by Chinook Bromlie
Episode 151: Every Situation Can Become A Meaningful Story
It was tempting to hunker down and immediately get to work, even though I knew I wouldn't be inspired or productive, mostly spinning my wheels and finding opportunities for distraction.
Instead, I forced myself to put on my hiking boots and take the dog for a long walk. I knew if I could get myself outside for a little while, I'd be far more productive for the rest of the day.
I was right.
Self-Reflection Can Help You Rid Your World of "Shoulds"
I woke up the other day inspired to write a blog post encouraging people to really re-think their holidays this year, to avoid trying to make them feel “normal”, and stressing out over obligations they cannot meet.
Madly typing away, I knew I was on to something important, inspiring even!
For some reason, I saved the article without sharing or posting it anywhere.
When I woke up the next day, I was faced with two struggles:
Our major kitchen remodel would be delayed again, and we will not be back in there for Thanksgiving, and
I received an email that made me uncomfortable, and had to acknowledge something I didn’t want to see in myself, something I really don’t love.
It was tempting to hunker down and immediately get to work, even though I knew I wouldn't be inspired or productive, mostly spinning my wheels and finding opportunities for distraction.
Instead, I forced myself to put on my hiking boots and take the dog for a long walk. I knew if I could get myself outside for a little while, I'd be far more productive for the rest of the day.
I was right.
As I walked in the snow in the crisp, clear air, I realized the tone of my article was too “preachy.” It happens sometimes when I have an idea I really want to share, an idea I believe will make a positive impact on people.
Toby is definitely a mountain & snow dog. Mt Helena, Helena, Montana
But I know better than to write and speak about things as if I’m separate from them, that if I want to have an impact, the lesson has to take the form of a personal story. Understanding why I didn’t post the article helped me realize that THAT was the thing I didn’t want to see in myself. I had been in the mode of advising, rather than coaching, when I clearly needed to be the latter for that situation.
Finally feeling more clear headed as I walked, I realized that because of the disappointment of the delayed house project, I had a perfect story to share to make my point about rethinking the holidays this year.
Rethinking Our Holiday Season
Our Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have always been pretty low-key. We’ve lived at least 750 miles from our nearest family member since we moved to Montana 21 years ago. Even so, the holidays can be stressful for me, when it comes time to acknowledge our family with gifts that are meaningful, especially because we live so far away and don’t see each other often.
I recently recorded an episode of Unapologetically Bold, I’m Not Sorry For… with Emily Elrod, and we talked about removing the word “should” from our vocabulary. This was in the context of internal “shoulds”, like “I should go to the gym” or “I should eat a salad instead of these potato chips.” And also our external “shoulds” like “you shouldn’t eat those potato chips” and “you should change your oil every 5,000 miles!”
Should can be condescending, but worse for me is how it is associated with obligation.
Anyone who has gone to a family Thanksgiving dinner that they really didn’t want to go to understands obligation. What they might not realize is that the people at the table know you’re feeling obligated and that you don’t really want to be there.
What do you think that does to your relationships? Obligation is the precursor to guilt, neither are good for relationships.
But how to we back out without making things worse?
Imagine that you’ve invited a close friend over for dinner, and she shows up but obviously doesn’t want to be there. She thinks she’s being subtle, that you don’t know, but of course you feel it.
She felt obligated for one reason or another, and here she is. Do you notice her distance? Does it bother you that she didn’t feel like she could say something to you, to cancel or postpone the date? Or do you relish in her feeling obligated, does it make you feel good that she came only because she had to, not because she wanted to? I doubt it.
What if she said: “I can’t join you and your family for dinner, it’s uncomfortable for me, too chaotic. I’d like to have dinner with just you so we can really connect. Is next Saturday okay?”
She’s being honest about her discomfort, and though it’s a little painful that your family creates discomfort for her, aren’t you grateful for her honesty? Plus, she’s not making up an excuse, and she’s asking for a specific time – with the specific intention to spend time with you, as opposed to saying “raincheck?”
Here we are, heading into holidays full of “should”, obligation, and guilt.
Are Those "Shoulds" Yours, or Do They Belong to Someone Else?
When I say remodel, I’m serious!
I had a grand vision of Thanksgiving in our home in our newly renovated kitchen. We’ve spent 20 years in the house and have done a lot of critical projects inside this 1890 Victorian in the mountains, but we hadn’t touched the kitchen… until now.
You can imagine my disappointment when I heard the news that we wouldn’t be back in the kitchen until at least the week after Thanksgiving.
My vision of hosting our grown sons and their girlfriends in our new kitchen was crushed.
Here’s the thing I have to remember: Nothing has been normal or predictable about 2020.
Our kids know this isn’t normal, and if there’s one thing they’ve learned this year, it’s that life is unpredictable, even going to school isn’t guaranteed!
For the duration of this project I’ve been filled with gratitude. We have a place to live while this is going on, a small AirBnB apartment with a fully equipped kitchen.
On my walk, I realized I had to practice what I preach: I had to rethink my holidays this year.
This year is different in so many ways, including our opportunity to rethink what actually makes us happy, what our priorities are, and to make adjustments to our rituals and traditions to meet those priorities. We get to decide which ones serve us and our family and which do not.
I texted our boys to let them know the change in plans, and that we would have a limited Thanksgiving menu this year: Turkey, stuffing, cranberries, green vegetable. I asked them what food was their favorite for this holiday, and promised to make it sometime over the weekend. (Partly because I simply love to cook!)
Guess what? They’re FINE with the change in plans. One of them even replied: “It’s all good, mom, as long as we can be together.”
We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving this year in a completely different way, in a small apartment filled with laughter, food, and likely some whiskey.
We might discover some new traditions and rituals to add to our future holidays, or maybe it’ll be just this one year that we celebrate differently.
I know it will be meaningful, and rather than stress about “trying to make it as normal as possible” (as if normal always equals good), I’ll simplify our Thanksgiving celebration.
I am giving up obligation this year and following my heart, giving and receiving based on the impact I want to have on the people around me, not on someone else’s should.
What will you do to make this year different in a good way? What new traditions will you create to make this meaningful and special? How will you acknowledge the love for your family if you cannot be with them during the holidays?
You can do this. I can do this. We’ve been through so much already this year, let’s make the most of this opportunity.
Here's a great article that describes the value of creating rituals when life feels uncertain and unpredictable:
“Having rituals is a reliable way to come back to something that is comforting, familiar and meaningful — no matter how out-of-control our life feels...” ~ Nick Hobson
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About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will, will be released in mid-November, and for a limited time, the ebook is just $0.99!
As a special bonus for listeners, the book will include two songs recorded by my band, Spare Change, in my living room in Montana. Keep an eye out for announcements through LinkedIn and via my Elkins Consulting Facebook & Instagram pages, or visit my website to learn more.
Episode 124: Your Stories Don't Define You. How You Tell Them Will.
Think about that title for a second. Your Stories Don’t Define You. Those things that happen in your life are not what define you, create your identity, and shape your relationships. It’s how you talk about those things that matters.
Think about that title for a second. Your Stories Don’t Define You. Those things that happen in your life are not what define you, create your identity, and shape your relationships. It’s how you talk about those things that matters.
When you tell people about the experiences in your life, you shape those experiences for yourself through subconscious internal messages. According to researchers at Eastern Washington University, the stories told about you, in front of you, begin to shape your identity before you have words. And the stories you tell about yourself, your personal narrative, are what build on that identity.
So how do we apply that knowledge as adults to improve our lives and relationships?
We pay attention to the stories we’re sharing. And we look back at the incidents and situations that shaped those stories.
My book, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will, is based on what I’ve learned by hosting more than 100 episodes of this podcast.
Most people cannot easily tell a story about pivotal moments that shaped who they are and how they think. The book is designed to help readers uncover those stories, find the meaning in them, and share them with the right audience at the right time, in order to strengthen relationships, address damaging internal messages, and inspire others through their personal stories.
The ebook is available for preorder online for $0.99 on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble from now until May 31. I encourage you to purchase the ebook to get started, and then order the paperback from your local bookstore, or visit bookshop.org to support independent booksellers.
I finished writing this book in November 2019, just a few months prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, with absolutely no idea how 2020 would transform our global community. In a very short period of time, thousands lost their lives, millions lost their jobs and businesses, families were pulled apart and quarantined together, and the global economy realized how tightly connected we really are. As communities, we saw healthcare workers sainted, bullied, and celebrated when entire cities howled like wolves during shift changes to recognize them for the risks they were taking to care for our sick.
Meanwhile, many of us hunkered down to shelter-in-place, faced with daily uncertainty of our health, our jobs, school closures, and being barraged with moment-by-moment shifts in the news about the short and long-term impacts of this pandemic.
People have found ways to cope, of course, and there have been beautiful stories of families reconnecting and spending quality time together making meals, taking walks, and reading together.
“There is no doubt the learning, the richness and the expansion that comes from our stories is the place where Sarah Elkins’s legacy lives. By reading this book and taking hold of its principles, you become a part of that legacy, too. Use that power well.”
For me, a huge 50th birthday celebration was planned for April 18, 2020, complete with friends and family coming to Montana from all over the country. It didn’t happen, of course. What happened instead was a gorgeous hike with a friend – with appropriate social distancing, a virtual wine tasting, a brief paddle around in a nearby lake with a new kayak, a surprise Zoom birthday toast with friends and family from all over the world, some heartfelt, amazing video birthday messages, and a Facebook Live performance of a few songs by me and my husband, Bob.
When I had time to think about the events of the weekend, I found them truly inspiring. And while I was disappointed not to celebrate the way I intended, the stories we created together for this big birthday were probably more significant, more life-altering than if things had gone the way we planned. Instead of focusing on the disappointment, I lived each experience in the reality of the moment.
That’s what the book is about, finding out that the stories of the things that happen in our lives are significant, far more than the things that didn’t happen in our lives.
Some have called this time The Great Pause. One friend described his bike ride in a city north of London: “I could have ridden on either side of the street, it was so deserted. And the air. The air was crisp and fresh, I’ve never smelled it like this here.”
I have great empathy for the students and young adults whose lives were so disrupted in their final year of school, I cannot imagine the depth of disappointment in missing the major experiences they were expecting to have: Prom, graduation, parties, goodbyes, all of those “this is the last time…” moments. Those disappointments feel so big right now, and I can tell you they will pale in comparison to the adventures that await you.
Please take time now to begin collecting stories of this experience, to remember the details of incidents and situations that you can look back at, to see how pivotal they were in how you see yourself and how you see your future. Consider the tragic loss of life, and the courageous acts of our healthcare and service workers, and also the smaller acts that made a difference, like the many who took up the call to sew masks for themselves and others and neighbors delivering food to each other. Reflect on your stories of this time in the context of the stories of the people around you.
You’ve heard people ask each other: “Where were you on 9/11?” “Do you remember what you were doing when you heard the news about…?”
In the future, people will ask you those questions about your time during the COVID-19 pandemic. I hope as you think about your experiences during this time, that you begin to collect details of some specific moments, conversations, walks, time you spent with your kids, your partner, your fur babies, in the kitchen, or on video calls. Take time periodically to jot down notes, the way you’re feeling, your thoughts, and how you spend your precious days.
“People have lived through historically significant events and forces, like WW2 & the Great Depression, the 1918 flu epidemic, etc., and I find great comfort in this knowledge and understanding.” Martha Kohl
The Montana Historical Society has been collecting the stories of individual Montanans for decades, including letters written by and to individuals across the state from the time settlers began making their lives here. These letters, archived for future generations to read and learn from have offered a unique perspective for students, giving important context to the history they’re learning and reading about in school.
When our younger son was a freshman in high school, his drama class performed letters from that collection, written by and for Montanans from our territorial days up to around the time of the Gulf War. It was an incredible opportunity for them and for the audience, especially the Q&A session with the students following the performance. Many of them mentioned how much more meaningful the study of history was when they could touch and feel real people’s experiences like that. Martha, the program coordinator for that class, said: “They recognized themselves as actors in history, and that their behavior and choices matter.”
The Historical Society has shifted this brilliant collection to address our current situation by creating a survey asking people about their experiences in the time of this pandemic. The agency will archive the stories of everyday citizens, offering an extraordinary glimpse into the past for future generations, giving context to the world news and making it more relevant with specific stories and incidents.
This is the time, my friends, to consider the stories you will share in the future, because YOUR stories, the ones you make right now, are what will give our collective future meaning, and will give context to the suffering, joy, and transformation we will see as a result of those experiences.
Do not waste this opportunity. Because it’s not what happens to you that shapes your identity and your relationships. It’s how you talk about it.
The book is available for preorder NOW. on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. The ebook will be just $.99 until the book’s launch on May 31st. A portion of each book preordered will be donated to the Prickly Pear Land Trust, a Helena, Montana-based non-profit devoted to preserving open land and recreation opportunities for everyone. Why PPLT? Because the open lands in my neighborhood have provided endless inspiration for me and my writing, and I am so grateful, especially now, for the people who continue to create a collaborative structure to preserve those spaces.
Please visit Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, to preorder the book before May 31st, or visit bookshop.org to purchase the book after May 31st.
Episode 123: Magic Saved His Life - Like Magic, Relationships are All About Perspective
Brian Miller wasn’t always super outgoing, a performer, comfortable speaking with an audience As a matter of fact, he was so shy no one could possibly have called him that. No one knew him well enough to insult him in that way. But due to his shyness and severe social anxiety, his peers had plenty of other words to use to insult, demean, and bully him.
Great Stories Start with Conflict and Resolve through Self-Reflection
Brian Miller wasn’t always super outgoing, a performer, comfortable speaking with an audience As a matter of fact, he was so shy no one could possibly have called him that. No one knew him well enough to insult him in that way. But due to his shyness and severe social anxiety, his peers had plenty of other words to use to insult, demean, and bully him.
Brian told me that magic saved his life.
His father and grandfather had always been obsessed with magic and magic tricks. They took Brian to shows, learned their own tricks, and spent time enjoying everything about that form of entertainment. When Brian turned 13, he also picked up a few magic tricks.
One day as he sat eating lunch at the same table as some other non-popular kids (not with them, just sitting at the same table), he asked a few if they wanted to see a magic trick.
They did.
That was it. That was the beginning of Brian's journey toward asshole behavior. Within weeks, he became "that kid who does cool magic tricks", and was suddenly someone his peers found interesting enough to spend time with. He was invited to parties, and even went out with some girls.
But none of his relationships lasted very long. He started to believe his own hype.
Brian said that happens, especially with younger people who suddenly find themselves shifting from invisible to famous. They fall into the trap of ego, and any criticism becomes "he's just jealous", and "she just doesn't understand."
It can take decades, if it happens at all, for people like that to start to see their own role in their unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life. They don't lean into self-reflection until they've already damaged almost every relationship - if they ever lean into it.
But Brian did. A couple of years out of college, he had started his own business as an entertaining magician, and slowly morphed that business into his current speaking, writing, and coaching business. He's a natural when it comes to marketing and entrepreneurial enterprise.
What I found especially inspiring in our conversation was the simple acknowledgement Brian had to make in order to move forward toward healthy, satisfying relationships: I have a role in my dissatisfaction. I can change. I can find happiness.
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Brian Miller is a globetrotting magician-turned speaker who works with organizations who want to create an environment where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued. He is the author of Three New People: Make the Most of Your Daily Interactions and Stop Missing Amazing Opportunities, a personal success guide to connecting with anyone.
Brian’s TEDx talk, “How to Magically Connect with Anyone,” has been viewed over 3 million times worldwide and included on many “Best of TED” lists including “Top 5 TED Talks to Watch Before an Interview” by Kaplan Test Prep.
Episode 122: Storytelling As A Means of Self-Reflection and Change
He looked at his 2 year old son, standing at the foot of the bed where Bryan Falchuck's wife, his son's mother, was wasting away in front of his eyes.
It was that moment when he knew he had to change. To be there for his son in a way he hadn't felt supported as a child, and to be there for his wife in a way he knew she needed, he had to take the steps. Those steps included steps backward, to better understand why he was so compelled to action, so compelled to exploit his anxiety as a tool for professional success.
When Love is a Catalyst for a Shift in Your Story
He looked at his 2 year old son, standing at the foot of the bed where Bryan Falchuck's wife, his son's mother, was wasting away in front of his eyes.
It was that moment when he knew he had to change. To be there for his son in a way he hadn't felt supported as a child, and to be there for his wife in a way he knew she needed, he had to take the steps. Those steps included steps backward, to better understand why he was so compelled to action, so compelled to exploit his anxiety as a tool for professional success.
At a time when money was tight and time was so severely limited, Bryan finally sought help.
It wasn't an overnight shift, following his realization as he looked at his son and wife that day. And he knew it wouldn't be.
He had plenty of evidence of his resilience, persistence, and motivation. As a seriously overweight child and young adult, in his 20s he made the decision to take control of his health and weight and lost 100 lbs. But when his wife got sick and they couldn't find a diagnosis, he regressed and gained 50 of those pounds back.
Bryan took the necessary steps every day to bring himself back to health, and to be the support his wife truly needed.
It's nine years later and he has stayed the course. His wife is mostly recovered, though she continues to battle long-term symptoms of Lyme Disease, and he has written and published two best selling books about his adventure in finding health and happiness in his relationships with himself and others.
What I loved about Bryan's story was that his decision to change wasn't really about him. His decision came from deep love for his family. Being a healthy father and husband meant being a present, compassionate, and supportive father and husband. And that was his motivation. Love.
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Bryan Falchuk is an author, speaker and coach helping people change their lives. Bryan has also been a successful C-level executive. As a Certified Behavior Change Specialist, Bryan is the best-selling author of Do a Day and his latest best-selling book, The 50 75 100 Solution: Build Better Relationships. He speaks regularly on the subjects of motivation, culture, relationships and overcoming challenges, including several TEDx Talks.
He has shared his message on over 150 podcasts and radio shows, and has written for many top publications like Inc Magazine, the LA Times and Chicago Tribune. Bryan also hosts his own show, The Do a Day Podcast.
Visit Bryan's website to learn more, connect with him on LinkedIn, and follow his inspiring work on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
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Sarah Elkins is a communication coach, keynote speaker, Gallup certified StrengthsFinder coach, professional musician, and author. Her book, Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will is based on lessons from hosting this podcast, and will be available for preorder beginning in early May, 2020.
Episode 104: Truly Effective Leadership Begins with Self-Reflection
Rajkumari Neogy loved her job, but couldn’t shake the feeling of being excluded. As a leader in the organization, it was difficult to pinpoint where that feeling of dissatisfaction and exclusion was coming from because she had a great boss and an engaged team, but something just wasn’t right.
Leadership Development Requires Stories of Self-Reflection
Rajkumari Neogy loved her job, but couldn’t shake the feeling of being excluded. As a leader in the organization, it was difficult to pinpoint where that feeling of dissatisfaction and exclusion was coming from because she had a great boss and an engaged team, but something just wasn’t right.
So many of us feel disconnected from the communities we’re expected to feel close to, the community at work, at church or synagogue, even with our own families. Many of us feel like we’re out here on our own, like we simply don’t belong to any one community, like we just don’t fit in anywhere.
When Rajkumari left her job, her ultimate goal was to learn more about why those feelings were so persistent, to study the neurobiology behind those feelings of disconnection and exclusion, even when there was no evidence to support those feelings.
During our conversation about resilience and the impact of genetics on trauma, Rajkumari mentioned two scientists well-regarded in the field of epigenetics, Rachel Yehuda and Moshe Szyf.
From an interview with Dr. Yehuda: “Rachel Yehuda is a pioneer in understanding how the effects of stress and trauma can transmit biologically, beyond cataclysmic events, to the next generation.”(1)
Also mentioned was a book by Sarah Peyton, Your Resonant Self, which you can find here.
Our conversation spanned from that feeling of exclusion and where it comes from, to the strategies we can use to address trauma in our bodies and minds. Rajkumari is committed to self-reflection to continue to grow and improve as a coach, to and bring others along for that journey.
(1) https://onbeing.org/programs/rachel-yehuda-how-trauma-and-resilience-cross-generations-nov2017/