439 Pivot Point: Revealed with the Right Question - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins (Copy)
You won’t be surprised to hear that I had another moment of inspiration on a recent hike…
This time it was about seeing meaningful, pivotal moments not as the experience itself, but in how we talk about it later.
You won’t be surprised to hear that I had another moment of inspiration on a recent hike…
Coliseum of Nimes, France 2018
This time it was about seeing meaningful, pivotal moments not as the experience itself, but in how we talk about it later.
In late August of 2018 my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to travel to southern France to perform with a jazz quartet at two venues. The first was in Arudy on the edge of the Pyrenees Mountains near the border with Spain. It was a sold-out community event attended by over 200 residents of all the surrounding small villages. Most of our audience didn’t speak English or had very limited experience with it.
The second performance was on the patio of a small bar in Eygalieres in Provence.
We had some serious challenges over those two weeks, some obstacles we couldn’t have anticipated and others we simply weren’t prepared for.
I had lots of meaningful moments, but most of them felt like lessons about what not to do, how to be more prepared for things, what to avoid in the future.
About a week after we arrived back home in Montana I had a call scheduled with a new connection I made on LinkedIn a few weeks before our trip.
At that point I had resolved not to talk about it because it felt like I could only share the obstacles. In my ears it sounded like I was just complaining about the adventure and ignoring the privilege of the experience, the honor of performing for audiences in those extraordinary places, like I was acting like a spoiled, entitled American.
Avalon, France 2018
But the first thing my new friend asked was: “How was the trip? I was thinking about you and hoping you were enjoying yourself!”
She heard the hesitation in my voice, the pain in my “it was fine” answer.
And she switched gears.
It was the question she asked next that was the pivot point, not necessarily my answer to it.
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Paris, France 2018
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
Have you been the person on the receiving end, asked a perfect question to shift your perspective?
Have you been the person to ask a question that positively changed something for someone else?
From previous episodes you may have a specific image of who I am, did today’s story shift that image at all? Did it fill in some gaps for you?
The stories we share say a lot about who we are.
What’s one story you can share differently to reframe the experience with more perspective and context?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
438 Pivot Point: Noticing Progress - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
Not every meaningful moment is big and dramatic. As a matter of fact, smaller moments can be even more electrifying when we take the time to notice them.
I had one of those moments last week when I performed as a backup vocalist and played my flute with the band of a friend and talented singer/songwriter at a local bar to a crowd of enthusiastic fans.
Not every meaningful moment is big and dramatic. As a matter of fact, smaller moments can be even more electrifying when we take the time to notice them.
I had one of those moments last week when I performed as a backup vocalist and played my flute with the band of a friend and talented singer/songwriter at a local bar to a crowd of enthusiastic fans.
We were on the patio and the crowd was much bigger for the last hour of our performance, so we pulled out our faster, more danceable tunes.
My friend called the name of the last song for the night and it was one I didn’t know. She counted off the song for the band to begin and I couldn’t hear vocal harmonies right away, so I started improvising on my flute instead.
I’ve been performing in bands for more than 15 years, but performing on my flute for an audience is still new to me. In 2020 when I picked it up after more than 30 years, I found sheet music and learned songs I wanted to play.
But this - improvising - is new to me and I'm still tentative as I find the notes and scales to fit the keys of each song.
The pivot point in this episode is my observation of myself that evening and the realization of my progress as a musician. It also applies to my journey as speaker and communication coach. I can look back and objectively say I did a good job with my keynote presentations, workshops, and coaching. I have the long-term clients and thank you notes as evidence.
I can see my progress over the past 5 years, I know I’m significantly better at these things than I was before.
And, even more importantly, I can imagine that in another 5 years I’ll be even more competent in my work, because I know I’m not done yet. I still have so much to learn, to practice, and to grow into.
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Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
Will you jot down a note so you can share a quiet, meaningful story with someone when the opportunity presents itself?
From previous episodes you may have a specific image of who I am, did today’s story shift that image at all? Did it fill in some gaps for you?
The stories we share say a lot about who we are.
What’s one story you can share to demonstrate one of your talents?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
437 Pivot Point: Grief and Kindness - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
“She stood up from across the aisle and walked over. Stopping in front of my seat, she said: ‘I can see that you’re struggling, and if you would rather I walk away, just say so. It’s just that it looks like you could use a hug, and I’m a hugger.’”
“She stood up from across the aisle and walked over. Stopping in front of my seat, she said: ‘I can see that you’re struggling, and if you would rather I walk away, just say so. It’s just that it looks like you could use a hug, and I’m a hugger.’”
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my life, an experience that shifted how I think about grief, and inspired me to be more compassionate with strangers.
I almost said no, but something about her made me think if I did, she’d never offer this gift to a stranger again. It was almost as if she was the one who needed a hug.
So I stood. She embraced me. And I cried.
I guess I needed her hug after all.
She held me for a few minutes, until my breathing evened out, and I thanked her as we parted.
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did my story remind you of something that happened to you?
What memory popped into your head when you heard it?
What did you learn about me as a person?
Did my story inspire you to pick up a pen and leave a note for someone you care about?
What’s your related pivotal moment?
After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I’ve been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What memory popped into your head when you heard my story?
What did you learn about the characters in the story?
Did my story inspire you to do something differently?
Jot down a note so you’re ready to share your story when the opportunity arises!
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
436 Pivot Point: A Path-Changing Letter - A Monologue from Sarah Elkins
Driving home from a volunteer shift at the Old Salt Festival near Helmville, Montana, I listened to the last hour of the book The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.
As I listened to the characters reflect on their lives to share with others via handwritten letter (and a few emails), I was reminded of the great conversation I shared on this podcast with Amy Daughters, author of Dear Dana.
As I mentioned in last week’s episode, I was recently inspired to change the format of this show.
The new format for my show aligns with what I’m learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and what I’m learning about emotional intelligence through a course I’m taking.
My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are.
My future guests will be given a story prompt ahead of our call, and instead of a long, organic, multi-insight conversation, we’ll dive more deeply into a single story, pulling a thread and revealing a primary insight about the experience, and leaving space for you – our listeners – to remember your own related experience and pull a thread that has the potential to guide you toward deeper self-awareness.
I’ll be eager to hear your thoughts about this new format, so please don’t hesitate to send me a message via social media or email!
In today’s episode I’m sharing a story about a pivotal moment in my personal life, a long relationship that continues to influence my life and how I experience the world.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Correspondent by Virginia Evans
Amy Daughters, author of Dear Dana, speaker, humorist
Old Salt Festival, Helmville Montana
Listeners, now it’s your turn:
Did my story remind you of something that happened to you?
What memory popped into your head when you heard it?
What did you learn about me as a person?
Did my story inspire you to pick up a pen and leave a note for someone you care about?
What’s your related pivotal moment?
About Sarah:
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
431 The Art of Aging - Featuring Diane Place
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Diane Place discuss the art and beauty in aging and how it allows us to collect amazing stories, learn new things about ourselves, and how we can use these experiences to help others.
431 The Art of Aging - Featuring Diane Place
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Diane Place discuss the art and beauty in aging and how it allows us to collect amazing stories, learn new things about ourselves, and how we can use these experiences to help others.
Highlights
Aha moments and how trusting yourself will most often take you to better places in life.
Bringing in other story tellers to enlighten yourself with intergenerational, interracial, and interhuman connections.
Reframing aging and how we perceive aging, in that it is never too late to do anything and you don’t need to step back just because of a number.
The stories we tell ourselves and the stories told around us shape our perceptions, and we need to take active steps to make sure that it is positive and healthy instead of cutting ourselves and others down.
Quotes
“I’ve had “ah ha” moments in my life that led me to make crazy decisions. Some of them didn’t go so well… most of them did because I trusted my heart.”
“Find connections with who we are, not just what we’ve done.”
“We need to seek the new stories if we have some of those old stories. We need to ditch them. We need to erase them, and reinvent them.”
Dear Listeners, now it’s your turn:
What part of this conversation made you realize something about your own aging and maybe your internal messages that are affecting who you are and that you’re modeling and sharing with younger people. If you’re one of the younger listeners, under 50, what part of this conversation made you eager to hear the stories of people around you that you’ve only ever known skin deep? I would love to hear what resonated with you in this conversation.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Diane
After 66 years on this planet, I am grateful to have aligned my passions, talents and heart-driven desires in all parts of my life.
After dancing on the edges of my passions throughout my career and my life, the coincidence of three “lightning strike” experiences in 2018 - a cancer diagnosis, shutting down a business venture, empty nesting as I turned 60, compelled me to focus on what I truly wanted to do with my "one wild & precious life."
Fostering connection, learning peoples' stories and creatively inspiring others have always been a personal passion. With Third Act Quest, and our community, the 333 Collective, and my newest program AHA! Third Act Stories — this passion is now front and center. I am working to reframe aging by connecting and inspiring women for their life’s most exciting and meaningful chapter — their “third act.”
My 40-year professional career includes: a decade in Boston with an international ad agency; ten years with America Online (AOL-Time Warner) in the early days of the internet as Senior Vice President; and three entrepreneurial ventures; a cause-marketing firm, Dunbar, Hunter & Associates (bridging corporations and nonprofits around aids, homelessness, domestic violence and breast cancer), WonderBlink Photography, and The Global Design Post.
My favorite quote:
“Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - Mary Oliver
Be sure to check out Diane’s LinkedIn, and her website Third Act Quest. Plus, check out the Third Act Quest community here, and her YouTube Channel for even more great content.
About Sarah
Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other’s “language”, learning to value each other’s strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.
Sarah’s nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness.
Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.
412 Ego and Soul
When was the last time you were proud of yourself? When was the last time you took a moment to truly look at yourself and say “I am proud of the person I am and I want other people to see how amazing I can be.”? When was the last time YOU fed your soul? It’s easy to forget when we’re cheering others on that we also need to cheer ourselves on, because if we don’t then who will?
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Sharon Rolph discuss their own personal growth and the pride they feel in the people they have become and are still growing into.
412 Ego and Soul
When was the last time you were proud of yourself? When was the last time you took a moment to truly look at yourself and say “I am proud of the person I am and I want other people to see how amazing I can be.”? When was the last time YOU fed your soul? It’s easy to forget when we’re cheering others on that we also need to cheer ourselves on, because if we don’t then who will?
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Sharon Rolph discuss their own personal growth and the pride they feel in the people they have become and are still growing into.
Highlights
The desire to be visible and relevant as we grow.
The importance of ego in our growth. Be proud of yourself and how far you have come.
Embracing visibility.
Just because something is uncomfortable, doesn’t make it inauthentic. It only makes it uncomfortable.
The importance of having Soul and Ego in an authentic manner.
Quotes
“I think a lot of us women have been too quiet.”
“The butterflies flying in your stomach, just get them flying in formation.”
“I decide what stops me.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What are you doing consciously or unconsciously to remain relevant in your daily activities? What are you thinking about when it comes to being somebody who matters, someone who contributes? What are you choosing in your life to make sure you have ongoing relevance, whether that’s directly to the planet, whether that’s to your family, whether that’s to your home, to your fur babies, or to your community. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Sharon
For most of her life Sharon felt invisible and when retired, she wondered how she'd know if she was productive.
Today she's a motivating influencer at 78, as an author, podcast guest and the Queen of Courage on Instagram.
Her days now feel "right" since finding her Spark. This transformation she experienced is being offered to the public, for the first time.
Sharon is the perfect person to help others matter outside of work, live meaningfully, impact life with wisdom and confidence and find their inner Spark.
Sharon's sparkle, passion and her youthful appearance easily confirmed. Mental strength and faith have given her a healthy lifestyle.
Potential has intrigued Sharon from a very young age, and she loves uniqueness. That's what she sees in people, from her Behavioral Science perspective. She inspires curiosity and possibilities in everyone.
Be sure to check out Sharon’s LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook! As well as, her Youtube Channel, FRESH COURAGE in Retirement: finding purpose, essence and fulfillment, and her Calendly to schedule your session!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
400 Of Reciprocity and Return
In celebrating the 400th Episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You How You Tell Them Will, Sarah Elkins ruminates on the many lessons and gifts she has been given throughout her journey as a podcaster, an entrepreneur, and a person. From returning to what truly matters, to reciprocating the good and beautiful things in life.
400 Of Reciprocity and Return
In celebrating the 400th Episode of Your Stories Don’t Define You How You Tell Them Will, Sarah Elkins ruminates on the many lessons and gifts she has been given throughout her journey as a podcaster, an entrepreneur, and a person. From returning to what truly matters, to reciprocating the good and beautiful things in life.
Highlights
What goals have you met that still shock you?
What are you reflecting on and have you made amendments to others and yourself?
How do you reciprocate in your relationships? Especially in the relationship with yourself.
Are you surrounding yourself with the people who help build you? Who reciprocates your intentions?
How do you hold space for the stories of those around you?
Quotes
“She thinks about it in terms of returning to our core goodness. She believes this is our opportunity to return, find, and bring our hearts back to that core in action.”
“When I receive, what am I giving in return? When I give, what am I receiving in return?”
“Stop chasing people who don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”
“Everything we do has consequences. Everything we do is reciprocal.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What words do you infuse in your life, relationships, and actions? What role does reciprocity play for you? And what was one thing in this episode that’s so sticky that you will change something; behavior, actions, or maybe something in your internal dialogue?
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!