Episode 79: Some of Your Stories are Totally False
"Just be happy! It's a beautiful day!"
Those words spoken by a family member were completely lost on a teenaged Courtney Ackerman facing depression and anxiety. Not only were they lost, they caused some damage to the relationship.
Depression wasn't just an illness for Courtney, it was also a source of curiosity.
Cognitive Distortions' Role in Your Internal Messages
"Just be happy! It's a beautiful day!"
Those words spoken by a family member were completely lost on a teenaged Courtney Ackerman facing depression and anxiety. Not only were they lost, they caused some damage to the relationship.
Depression wasn't just an illness for Courtney, it was also a source of curiosity.
Not many people going through something like this make the connection between what they're going through, and an opportunity for learning and growth, especially at the time of the struggle. That's part of what makes Courtney unique, among her other talents and varied interests.
Our conversation spanned decades, from that first experience with depression, to her recent “ah ha” moments in her career.
We spoke a lot about 2 of the 11-15 known cognitive distortions, Over Generalization, and Black & White Thinking. When we over generalize, we decide that one thing that happened is meaningful across our entire experience of life. For instance, Courtney was an A student all through elementary and middle school, and then failed a calculus exam. She decided in that moment that she just wasn’t very smart. That’s over generalizing - seeing her one experience in failing an exam and deciding she wasn’t smart, no matter how much evidence there was to the contrary.
With black & white thinking, which can lead to over generalizing, we cannot see a gray area in something specific, like when we decide a person is either good or evil, based on one incident. It’s an either/or way of thinking that, no matter how much evidence we have that there’s something in between, we cannot acknowledge that middle ground.
Connect with Courtney on LinkedIn, listen to her episode on the outstanding podcast “Getting Unstuck”, read one of her articles on cognitive distortions, and order her books on the Simon & Schuster website.
The Stories You Share Define You
The Stories You Share Demonstrate Your Character
When Kyle Burt shared the story of creating a roller hockey team from scratch at Arizona State University, and how he did it, I was immediately intrigued.
This is far less common than I used to think: Some people do what they say they're going to do. And they dive head first into whatever it is, there's no toe-dipping for people like that.
As soon as I heard Kyle's story, I knew a few things about his character. He told the story with some level of humor and humility, not taking all the credit himself, and he shared the story as a reminder that we can all do what we set out to do if we use our resources and follow through. He didn't need to tell me he was a "do-er", that he is a leader, or that he has a sense of humor. He demonstrated all of those things in his story.
The great thing about our lives is that as adults, we choose our next move, our response to situations, and the people we spend time with. When we surround ourselves with people who support us, encourage us, and who have the enthusiasm to follow through with us, we can accomplish great things.
Connect with Kyle on LinkedIn, watch a recent episode of his show, #CoffeeWithKyles, and visit his website to learn more about him.