Episode 169: Do You Have a Diverse Personal Board of Directors?
Humans are biased. We're designed to identify people who are different from us, people we have things in common with, and people who pose a threat to our safety - emotional & physical.
It's easier for our brain to make a decision about a person when we allow our bias to control it. But how many times have you misjudged someone you met, for better or for worse? When we rely on our bias to make decisions about a person's potential as a friend, foe, or neutral, we seriously limit the potential of the relationship.
Personal Growth is Dependent on Your Direct Circle of Influence
Adrienne Kimball and Karen Cohen met when Karen was interviewing for a job where Adrienne worked. At first glance, Adrienne assumed the two would have little in common, but midway through the conversation, her opinion shifted.
Adrienne Kimball podcast cover art
Humans are biased. We're designed to identify people who are different from us, people we have things in common with, and people who pose a threat to our safety - emotional & physical.
It's easier for our brain to make a decision about a person when we allow our bias to control it. But how many times have you misjudged someone you met, for better or for worse? When we rely on our bias to make decisions about a person's potential as a friend, foe, or neutral, we seriously limit the potential of the relationship.
In this episode, Adrienne and Karen talk about what it's like to work together, a black woman and a white woman, and the expectations they have for each other and their relationship.
You might be surprised that this is even a thing, that people are talking about something that should be so basic, so common, so - not something we need to talk about. But you're wrong. We have to have these conversations in order to grow, and to address the issues of our time: racism, white supremacy, hate.
What I love about this conversation and these two women is their commitment to having a solid relationship based on respect and love. They offer gentle corrections when needed simply because the health of their relationship depends on it.
Our conversation describes why it's critical for personal and professional growth - and for our community health - to look closely and honestly at our networks, at our closest relationships. Are they diverse? Are there people who think differently from you? Are there people who come from completely different backgrounds, different socio-economic and educational upbringing? Do they look significantly different from you and your family, maybe even speak a different native language?
Take a hard look, friends, be real about this. And then take the slow road toward diversifying your network and circle of friends. Ask people you trust about others you should follow and connect with.
There are plenty of resources out there to find the voices of BIPOC (black, Indigenous and people of color) and of LGBTQ professionals, writers, and artists. Find people whose messages resonate with you and simply following them on your favorite platforms to learn more.
Open your eyes and heart to a world of possibilities, build a diverse personal board of directors.
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Adrienne Kimball is the Chief Talent Officer at Rubicon Programs in northern California. She's a keynotes speaker, culture champion, equity evangelist and mentor.
Karen Elkins Cohen is the Director of Human Resources at Rubicon Programs.
These two women are fantastic facilitators of discussions on the topics of diversity, inclusion, equity, and building a culture of equity and inclusion. They hosted a session at the No Longer Virtual Summit in Atlanta in 2019 that was engaging and thought-provoking, a session people continue to talk about, two years later.
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ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Not All of the Most Important Lessons Come from Struggle
We learned so much about ourselves and our relationship on that adventure. Our resourcefulness, silly senses of humor, and resilience was on full display.
Celebrating Lessons Learned from Joy - 50th Podcast Episode!
Karen & Sarah, Road Trip Warriors
I talk a lot about the lessons I’ve learned through struggle, I call them “opportunities for growth”, and many people believe the most important lessons in life are those learned during difficult times. I learn a lot about my strength, resilience, and courage through those obstacles and grief; I also learn a lot about myself, my relationships, and the world around me through happy experiences.
My sister and I decided to take a road trip in the last week I was in Colorado before moving to Washington DC for a paid internship after college. I had just graduated from Colorado State - Fort Collins, and she was a second semester freshman at the University of Northern Colorado in Greeley. It was early January, our dad was fixing my little Chevette to make the trip to DC, and we had just a few days before I had to leave.
We weren’t sure where we wanted to go, and as we drove to the AAA office to grab a map, we talked about maybe making it to Las Vegas. The AAA associate was concerned about this long trip, I think she assumed we were about 16, and she mentioned as she highlighted the route from Colorado Springs to Las Vegas: “That’s a very long drive, ladies, especially in winter!”
“That’s okay, it’s really not about the destination.”
Karen and I left with our map, stopped at the nearest Kmart for a case of oil, she drove an old Honda that burned through oil, and headed north and then west.
Always Great Travel Companions
Skirting Denver to head west, we passed the familiar sign “Buffalo Overlook”, and I couldn’t believe it. “Karen! There are buffalo at the buffalo overlook!” Puzzled, she smiled at me. “Um… yes, Sarah.”
“I’ve passed this sign a hundred times at least, and I look out every time, and this is THE FIRST time I’ve ever actually buffalo here!”
We drove into Glenwood Springs, a beautiful little town in western Colorado, where we had spent some time as young children.
“We could stop here and soak in the hot springs, and maybe see if they have a room for us here.”
Karen told me she was eager to get out of Colorado, so we kept on driving.
As we chugged in the little Honda up a hill just over the Utah state line, we realized the car was misfiring and having some trouble with acceleration, so we pulled off at the next exit with a gas station.
It was a gas station with a diner nearby - and nothing else. We filled up the tank and I put a bottle of dry gas into the tank, just in case there was moisture in it. Pulling around to the diner lot, I noticed the blinds of the diner pop open, and a few pair of eyeballs staring out at us. I went in to use the bathroom, which was a mistake, and when I came out, Karen was holding one of the spark plugs in a paper towel in her hand.
She asked if I happened to have some sandpaper with me that we could use to rub the carbon off the edges of the plus.
“No, but I have an emery board!” It didn’t fit in the gap, so I peeled the paper off the board. One at a time, my sister pulled out the plugs, I carefully pulled the sandpaper through the gaps, and she put them back. At some point, one of the pairs of eyes from the diner came out to ask if we “ladies” needed help. His belly arrived significantly before he did, and when we said we were okay, he huffed, annoyed, and stomped back into the diner. We saw the blinds pop open again as all of them watched us finish our work.
“McGyver!” Karen shouted, and we high-fived.
We drove away and didn’t have any more acceleration problems the rest of the trip.
Our adventure was filled with hilarious moments, especially late that night when we had been on the road for 8+ hours and were tired and punchy.
Eventually we stopped in Mesquite, Nevada. I got us a room, then we walked into the casino to look around. We won $300, got ID’d at least 6 times in the hour we were wandering, and were compensated for the hassle by the manager, who bought us dinner in the restaurant.
Later that year, I took the map we used, wrote short stories and quotes on it along the route, attached some pictures, and gave it to my sister in a frame as a gift.
We learned so much about ourselves and our relationship on that adventure. Our resourcefulness, silly senses of humor, and resilience was on full display. Maybe we knew innately that we held those traits, but experiencing this together was great confirmation.
The next time you are experiencing an “opportunity for growth”, think about some of those adventures you loved, those stories in your life that brought you great joy, and really consider the lessons you learned from those experiences. And when you’re in the middle of one of those joyful adventures, take time afterward to find the lessons in it.