How do we respond and connect with others when discussing difficult topics such as miscarriages?
Join Sarah Elkins and coach, writer, and speaker, Sandra Winterbach, as they delve into a human response to infertility and the related reactions and interactions with the people in our lives.
Sandra shares her experience with learning about who she is and the importance of self-reflection for her health, and the way self-reflection contributes to gratification in her life.
Humans are biased. We're designed to identify people who are different from us, people we have things in common with, and people who pose a threat to our safety - emotional & physical.
It's easier for our brain to make a decision about a person when we allow our bias to control it. But how many times have you misjudged someone you met, for better or for worse? When we rely on our bias to make decisions about a person's potential as a friend, foe, or neutral, we seriously limit the potential of the relationship.
This woman is absolutely compelled to improve life for people she encounters. She sees the best in people, and has a beautiful way of bringing out the most endearing qualities. At the same time, she doesn't hesitate to let them know when they're getting in their own way.
Her number one talent in the StrengthsFinder assessment is Includer, which means that she is compelled to include others, and to be included herself. Sarah is the kind of woman who walks into a roomful of people and has a sixth sense in finding the most uncomfortable person, knowing exactly what to say to make them more comfortable, and nurturing that comfort to the point of that person actually enjoying themselves.
Desiree Adaway is no stranger to being the only black person in a room, or even in an entire community.
At 16, while skipping class, she saw an ad in the back of a magazine about exchange student programs and applied, signing her mother’s name on the application, the passport application, and all other necessary documents.
"People's lives are largely a product of the decisions they make."
The theme throughout this conversation is self-reflection. When we understand ourselves, and can reflect on how we're showing up to the people and environment around us, we can make decisions in alignment with our ideals, our ideal vision of who we want to be and how we want to be.
Ron wasn't always as self-reflective as he is now, it is something he learned as a result of difficult relationships. At some point he realized that if he wanted healthy, loving relationships, he was going to have to be a person who earned them, a person who learned from his mistakes.
It was a process, becoming a self-listener. Ron learned to take a step back after conversations to reflect on how they went, the good and the bad, and what he might have done right or what he could have done better. Eventually he started taking that step back during conversations, rather than waiting until afterward, so he could see where he was going and make necessary adjustments either to shift the conversation in a more positive direction, or recognize when it was time to cut and run.
It was tempting to hunker down and immediately get to work, even though I knew I wouldn't be inspired or productive, mostly spinning my wheels and finding opportunities for distraction.
Instead, I forced myself to put on my hiking boots and take the dog for a long walk. I knew if I could get myself outside for a little while, I'd be far more productive for the rest of the day.
I was right.
