Episode 115: This Too Shall Pass, For Better or For Worse
This would be my last hike on the mountain for at least a month, and as my dog panted and slobbered by my legs, I felt it – grief. I would leave my mountain and my dog for an entire month. Maybe this was a mistake. I sat down on a rock and tried to meditate, to just be still for a few minutes to let the thoughts flow and clear.
Everything in Life is Temporary, Embrace the Transient Nature
I stood at the summit of my mountain, Mount Helena in #Montana, breathing hard after the fast climb I took, trying to keep up with the dog.
Summit of Mt. Helena, Helena, MT January 2020
It was spectacular, as always. No matter how many times I get up there, probably nearly a hundred times in the 20 years we’ve lived here, it always takes my breath away, literally and figuratively. Gazing to the southwest, there are no buildings, just huge, snow covered mountains and forest as far as I can see. To the north is our town’s guardian, the #SleepingGiant, a #mountain I had an opportunity to climb a few years ago. I looked east to see our small city 1,000 feet below me, the Cathedral, the dome of our Capitol building, and the beautiful buildings of #CarrollCollege slightly north of downtown.
Sleeping Giant - head to the right, large nose, Montana
This would be my last hike on the mountain for at least a month, and as my dog panted and slobbered by my legs, I felt it – grief. I would leave my mountain and my dog for an entire month. Maybe this was a mistake. I sat down on a rock and tried to meditate, to just be still for a few minutes to let the thoughts flow and clear.
But I had too much going on in my head, packing, making sure everything was in order in the house, plans to check in with our son who would be taking care of the house and the dog. Far too much clutter was in my head, and I knew the only solution was to raise my heart rate again by jogging down the mountain, watching for trip hazards and ice, not allowing distraction by focusing on what was right in front of me.
When our youngest started high school, my husband and I started talking about what we would do when he left home. My husband already worked remotely for a company, so he could work from anywhere. It was my job that kept us in Montana year-round, and one idea that really appealed to us was living in different places for four to eight weeks at a time, getting to know another town, locals, cultures, and exploring different parts of the world.
Over the next few years, I started to build my #coaching and #speaking business with that idea in my head. I could either make this business successful and generate income, or I would have to find a company that would allow me to work remotely. My eyes were always open to opportunities with companies I thought would be a good fit for me, but nothing ever quite fit. #ElkinsConsulting would have to generate more income.
Our son started as a freshman in college last fall, and when we moved him into the dormitory, my husband and I talked again about our dream to work somewhere else for a month or so. We settled on the central coast of #California for our first experiment in living away like that.
Lots of research later, we decided on a #beach house within our price range, paid the deposit, and began the preparation to live away for an entire month in the winter. No #snow shoveling, no bundling up in hat, coat, mittens and snow boots to go to the grocery store for a whole month. We were both eager, excited, and a little anxious.
It was the day before our trip would begin, and I found myself sitting on the top of the mountain, worried and feeling a sense of grief – of loss – as I contemplated leaving my beautiful mountain, my boys, and that trusty dog by my side.
The next day, we were only 10 miles from home when started thinking of the things we forgot, things we had intended to bring with us, but decided not to go back. And the next evening we were checking into our home away from home, late at night, in the dark. As I used the code to unlock the front door, I could hear the #ocean nearby, but I couldn’t see it.
On our first morning, we walked the block west from our house to the beach and marveled at the little town we would call home.
We went out for breakfast that first morning, and as I walked into the little café with my Gates of the Mountains cap on (a famous section of the Missouri River near Helena, home to a boat tour through part of the Lewis & Clark expedition route), the young woman at the counter said: “Is that hat from Montana?”
Yes, the very first person I met on my first day in a little beach town in California was from Helena. She went to the same high school our boys went to, and had moved to live with her father and finish her senior year in California. Small, small world. That interaction felt like confirmation that we were right where we were supposed to be.
I completely overbooked my schedule that month with travel in the area and guests coming to spend time with us. The time absolutely flew by, but I took great advantage of my time there. I walked on the beach almost every day, took off my shoes and waded up to mid-shins in the ocean, picked up beach glass, shells, and sand dollars, and almost every evening my husband and I would walk to the pier to watch the sunset.
On our last day, after I had most of our things packed up, I walked by myself back to the beach and took off my shoes to feel the #sand and the #sea. Standing there, watching the waves, breathing the briny scent of the ocean, and watching the birds poke in the sand looking for food, it happened again. That moment of grief – of loss – as I contemplated leaving that beautiful place.
Cayucos, CA, February 2020
This time, though, it didn’t last as long as it did on my mountain. I realized it was exactly the same feeling of #grief and #discomfort as I felt before I left my mountain just 4 weeks before. Smiling to myself, I took in my surroundings, deeply #grateful for both the ocean and the mountains, and filled with the kind of #comfort and #peace you can only find when you embrace the temporary nature of life, and make a #conscious choice to live in grace and #gratitude.
Episode 99: Motivation Can Be as Simple As Asking Questions
I’ve been asked how I stay motivated, how I keep myself moving forward, and I’ve always had a hard time answering that question. I just go, sometimes to my detriment. In the StrengthsFinder assessment, I can easily see it’s about my top two talents, Strategic and Activator.
Curiosity is the Key
I’ve often been asked how I stay motivated, how I keep myself moving forward, and I’ve always had a hard time answering that question. I just go, sometimes to my detriment. In the StrengthsFinder assessment, I can easily see it’s about my top two talents, Strategic and Activator.
But as I was hiking on the mountain behind my house yesterday, I realized I don’t just GO.
I was breathing hard as I made that first ascent, following my big dog up to the first high point on the mountain, and found it frustrating, really. I take that path multiple times a week, and it is still hard for me, a challenge to keep my pace as my heart pounds and my hips ache. I pushed on up the mountain, thinking that if I didn’t want to go past that first high point, I could take another path down, making a much shorter loop than the one I had originally intended as I left the house.
But I got to that high point, looked out at the small city below me, and pressed on toward the next high point.
Sarah and Toblerone at the summit of Mt. Helena
Again, as my breathing got harder and my legs and hips started to feel the fatigue of the ascent, I told myself I could take the next loop back down and go to my nice, warm house for a cup of hot tea. I also reminded myself that once I started back down the mountain, it wasn’t going to be so much work, and my heart rate would slow. Knowing that, I looked up the path to see a familiar curve, and chose to keep moving up the mountain, eventually getting to the summit.
That mountain is so familiar to me, I generally know what’s around each curve, but I find myself endlessly curious, despite that familiarity. Curious to see what might be around that curve, curious to test myself, my persistence, my fitness level, just curious.
That’s it, I realized, a big part of my motivation is that simple. It’s curiosity.
There are days, blustery and cold, or far too hot and dry, that I get to a high point on the mountain and take the shorter, easier route to go back down, rather than explore, or choose to get to the summit. Those are the days I consider my state of mind and my physical limitations, and my motivation falters. If I didn’t have those days, I wouldn’t be able to relate to my coaching clients. Everyone has those days.
Curiosity is what motivates me, and curiosity can be cultivated. My strengths are my strengths, but curiosity is part of my character, just like resilience and persistence.
What will happen next?
What is my challenge this time?
What will I learn, who will I meet, will I fail or succeed?
What will my impact be, how will this positively effect someone else?
Curiosity about the future, curiosity about myself and my abilities. Now I know how to answer that question about what keeps me motivated on my journey of self-employment, and life in general.
How can you cultivate curiosity?
Ask yourself a question every morning: What beauty will today bring?
Ask yourself a question every time you hesitate to work on a project or face a difficult conversation with someone: What will happen next, when this is complete? What positive impact can I have in this conversation?
Those questions will eventually become part of your daily routine, and will become instinct, creating opportunities for deeper observation and motivation.
If curiosity isn’t what drives you, what makes you move forward with intention, what does? Is it setting and achieving goals? Is it the work itself? Are you motivated by the relationships you build with your time and energy?
Finding out what motivates you is the key to finding satisfaction in your life and relationships. Because when you discover that simple detail about yourself, you can use it with intention to move forward and build the life you want.
This story was originally published on the BizCatalyst 360 multimedia platform.
Come back next week for our 100th episode!
Connect Beyond the Keyboard
NLV is a two day professional development opportunity designed with a full curriculum-style agenda to help you and your business thrive. It’s limited to 50 participants, so you have the opportunity to truly get to know every person in the room. Sessions range from brain-science and mindset strategies to building your brand across platforms, hosted by some of your favorite LinkedIn connections.
So why am I recording this video on a mountain in Montana? Because the overall theme of NLV is to connect beyond the keyboard, taking your online connections to the next level in an enriching environment, filled with relevant content.
We humans are designed to use all of our senses to maintain and improve our brains, and our capacity for healthy relationships with others. LinkedIn and other platforms have offered us incredible opportunities to meet, learn from, and collaborate with people all over the world, without ever meeting face-to-face. That’s pretty amazing.
But there’s a limit to what you can accomplish from behind your keyboard. At some point, if you want to build authentic, powerful relationships, you must experience the world in first person.
You can read about climbing a mountain, look at pictures, and even feel like you’re climbing by watching someone else on a big screen, but you’re missing 90% of the experience.
As I stand here looking out over my little city, I’m breathing clean, crisp, fresh air. I’m smelling the pine needles, the damp soil that will freeze soon. I’m seeing the details of the leaves that have changed color and are barely hanging onto their trees, ready to drop for winter. I can hear the breeze coming up through the trees on the mountain, and I’m feeling the crunch of the rocks and dry grass under my feet.
I can’t experience that through a screen.
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