Episode 168: No Longer Virtual and the Worldwide Shutdown
On this episode of the Your Stories Don't Define You podcast, I'm joined by three #NLVChicago2020 guests. Shelley Brown, Mike "Fritz" (the Fritziest) Fritzius, and Kevin Strauss shared their stories about those two days in our little #NLV bubble.
It was magical, truly, and you'll see I'm not the only one who feels that way.
When Transformation is Imminent, Know Your Resources
One year ago today (for this recording), March 12, 2020, we were at the top of the world at the Mid-America Club in Chicago on the 80th floor of the AON Center.
The No Longer Virtual Summit, limited to 50 guests, had shrunk to 20 in the room. When my husband and I left Montana at 6am on the Tuesday before, the airport was pretty quiet. I remember thinking the airplane was particularly clean that morning. We arrived at O'Hare and took the train into the city.
I had already received 5 or 6 cancelations from people who didn't feel safe to travel, or their employers were highly discouraging them from leaving the county or country (Canada).
I also received a dozen messages and calls asking me not to cancel. Since we were already there, and others were on their way, we went forward.
A moment of stress relief, wandering with Robert Downs (Photo courtesy of Robert Downs Photography)
Wednesday was brutal. It seemed the hotel was going to hold me to my contract, which meant my room attrition might cost me nearly $10,000, and that didn't include the catering bill.
The Mid-America Club was far more accommodating. With less than 24 hours notice, they allowed me to shift the final catering number in half, reducing the potential for a dramatic amount of food waste, something I couldn't tolerate on top of the rest of the stress filling my days.
Brainstorm session for NLV2021 Notes
On this episode of the Your Stories Don't Define You podcast, I'm joined by three #NLVChicago2020 guests. Shelley Brown, Mike "Fritz" (the Fritziest) Fritzius, and Kevin Strauss shared their stories about those two days in our little #NLV bubble.
It was magical, truly, and you'll see I'm not the only one who feels that way.
My intention is to have a few more of these episodes to highlight the experiences of others in the room those two days. It was different for everyone, and yet, we knew we were surrounded by the people who would help us adjust as the world around us transformed before our eyes.
If you're interested in learning more about this year's No Longer Virtual Summit in Montana on June 10, 11, 2021, click here.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
Audiobook cover art
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 107: Strategies to Take Action to Avoid Future Regrets
4 Simple Strategies to Take Action
1.) Find Your Tribe – surround yourself with people who support and encourage you. Find a group of friends and peers that are doing things you want to be doing, people who will give you the hard truth about your dream and offer to help find solutions to obstacles. Make sure these are people you trust, and that you actually listen to their suggestions! You are unlikely to find support in people who have never done what you want to do, or who live with a low-risk, low-reward mentality, people who make fear-based decisions.
If You Don’t Do SOMETHING, Nothing Will Change
My dream is to create a sewing business around a design I created.
That’s terrific, Nancy, tell me about that!
I’ve always loved to sew, and I’ve created a pattern that can be easily replicated and scaled to different sizes and materials. It’s such a cool design, and I have never seen anything quite like it. It’s functional, and every person I’ve given one to as a gift, or who has seen it has loved it and wanted more.
Very cool! What are doing now to make this dream happen?
What do you mean?
I mean, in the evenings, on weekends, and when you can get breaks during your workday, what are you DOING?
Oh. Well by the time I get home from work, I’m emotionally and intellectually spent, so I don’t have the energy or even the creativity to sew. And with my mom’s health problems, and helping out with my grandkids, I just don’t have time to work on my own things.
Hmmm. Do you have space set up so that if and when you have a little time, you can jump right into creative mode and layout your next project - or start to sew?
No. My sewing room is filled with boxes and stuff from when I moved last year.
Our conversation continued along those lines, an excuse for every suggestion I made:
Maybe start by setting aside 15 minutes when you get home from work to put your sewing room in order?
Schedule 15 minutes 3x each week to organize your fabrics and start planning projects?
Think about setting a small goal, like sewing 3 of your design to take pictures and start a portfolio?
She had a reason she couldn’t do those things – for every suggestion.
So I asked her:
Will we have this same conversation a year from now, 5 years from now? Will you regret not doing something to change this?
If you don’t take action right now – today – you will not see any changes in your life. Guaranteed. You’re unhappy, but unwilling to change anything, so you will continue to be unhappy and dissatisfied. How do you think that impacts your relationship with your kids, grandkids, and coworkers? Do you think they don’t know you’re unhappy, do you think you’re hiding it?
That’s when she walked away from me - I felt like I had failed my friend. She walked away with her shoulders slumped, deflated. My heart broke, thinking I had gone too far, hurt her feelings and maybe made things worse.
I gave it a few hours, and then sent her a text message saying: “I hope I didn’t go too far. It just makes me sad to see you so unhappy because you are such a generous and compassionate person. You deserve happiness.”
She didn’t respond to my message. When we saw each other over the next few months she’d smile at me and we would exchange small talk, but I could tell she was uncomfortable. A few months later I gave my notice, said my goodbyes, and moved on to another career path, following a dream.
A year after that I was in the building again and ran into my friend. Her face absolutely glowed as she bee-lined toward me and gave me a huge hug. I hadn’t seen her like that – ever – and asked what was going on.
I have been thinking about calling you, Sarah, but I couldn’t find the right time, and I felt weird about it, even though I wanted to tell you that I’ve been sewing again and have sold a few of my designs! My ideas are flowing and I’m feeling creative again, it feels SO GOOD.
I asked her: “What changed? What was the inspiration that motivated you to do it?”
Remember when you asked me if I would regret not doing something about this dream a year from now? You asked if we were going to continue to have this same conversation year after year? It took me a few weeks to recover from that conversation. I felt like a loser. But then I remembered one of your suggestions, to schedule small chunks of time to make a physical, comfortable space for my sewing, to organize my sewing room to make it more inviting. And that’s what I did. It took MONTHS. But then, about a week after I finished, I walked into that room and was absolutely inspired to start a project.
I planned to spend 15 minutes on it, but walked out 1.5 hours later with a completed project and felt amazing. It was like a veil had lifted and my creativity returned.
Wow! I’m so happy to hear that! Has anything changed at work?
Yes! That’s the thing, I am finding my job a little more satisfying. Nothing here has changed. I still deal with the obnoxious attitude from you-know-who, and continue to have more work dumped on me than I can handle, but I look at it differently now that I’m making time for myself and having fun exploring my creative side again.
We hugged goodbye, promised to keep in touch, and I left the building as if I was walking on air.
We can talk about things we want to do, dreams we have, ideas we want to initiate and implement, but until we take a step that’s all those things are – dreams and ideas.
The only way we see change in our lives is if we initiate it or something happens to us. I would much rather be the one to initiate it most of the time, how about you?
4 Simple Strategies to Take Action
1.) Find Your Tribe – surround yourself with people who support and encourage you. Find a group of friends and peers that are doing things you want to be doing, people who will give you the hard truth about your dream and offer to help find solutions to obstacles. Make sure these are people you trust, and that you actually listen to their suggestions! You are unlikely to find support in people who have never done what you want to do, or who live with a low-risk, low-reward mentality, people who make fear-based decisions.
2.) Schedule Baby Steps – use the calendar on your phone or desk/refrigerator calendar to schedule short appointments for yourself, maybe 15 minute intervals to work on your dream in some way. If you spend 15 minutes every day being outcome-oriented toward your goal, you will see major changes in all aspects of your life. What do I mean by outcome-oriented? Think about something you can complete in that time, like organizing a pile of papers on your desk, scheduling calls or coffee dates with people who can help you, and who you feel like you can help (accountability partners, for instance), or writing up a blog post.
3.) Say Yes – when opportunities present themselves, show up. Step out of your comfort zone.
4.) Change Your Environment – Periodically changing your environment keeps your brain limber, more aware, and creative. That means weekend road trips, walks, taking different routes to work, time in nature, traveling, and exploring alternative hobbies.
If you’re tired of the same conversation, year after year, and realize you will most definitely regret NOT doing something, NOT taking action toward a dream or goal, do something about it TODAY.
Join me and an extraordinary group of professionals at the 2020, 4th annual No Longer Virtual conference on March 12 & 13th in Chicago. When I say “find your tribe”, this group is what I’m talking about. The common characteristics of people who attend are curiosity, compassion, and an entrepreneurial mindset.
The agenda is full of relevant, engaging sessions, and you’ll be surrounded by some of the most wicked-smart, generous, creative, supportive professionals around. Limited to 50 participants, you’ll have the opportunity to truly connect and build strong relationships. And the best part? You’ll avoid the “after-conference hangover” by remaining in close contact with your network after the event.
Here’s a peek at the agenda:
Supercharge your LinkedIn experience, hosted by Shelly Elsliger & Zach Messler
Turning ideas into action by clarifying your why, prioritizing, action planning & increasing accountability, hosted by Kris Macc & Craig Thomason
Non-sales workshop to engage your audience and grow your revenue, hosted by Hannah Bratterud and Arlene Mendoza
Achieving win-win relationships to improve your outcomes, with a field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago, hosted by Chris Spurvey & Megan Miller
Nurturing your emotional health to improve outcomes, hosted by Renee Smith & Kevin Strauss
DISCOUNT CODE:
Since early registration ended, here’s a $100 discount offer from the full price NLVFRIEND, and if you make arrangements with me to register two or more guests, I’ll offer a discount code for $125 off each of your registrations.
There are 13 spots left as of January 12, 2020!
I hope to see you at #nlvchicago2020, investing in yourself, taking the steps necessary to take action toward your dreams, and building and nurturing your network that can help you get there.
Episode 72: Persistence, Curiosity, and Following Instincts Create Career Resilience
When Bob Musial failed his role-playing test in his first sales job, he was humiliated. He was the only new hire out of seven to fail that session, and that made him even more motivated to prove to himself and others that he would be successful in that job.
Apply All Experiences to Every New Environment
When Bob Musial failed his role-playing test in his first sales job, he was humiliated. He was the only new hire out of seven to fail that session, and that made him even more motivated to prove to himself and others that he would be successful in that job.
He could have given up; it would have been easier in some ways to choose a different path after that dip in his confidence, but he didn’t. Instead, he doubled down on efforts to prove to himself that he could do whatever he set his mind to do. Part of that was trusting his instincts and ignoring a lot of the advice and guidance he was being given. And that aspect of his career resilience, coupled with his sense of humor, stayed with him for his many career transitions through 40+ years.
“Your sense of humor will set you apart. Take your job seriously, but don’t take yourself seriously.”
When it comes to career resilience, some of us take a more zig zag path, what I like to call a “gypsy career.” For those of us who regularly choose to change industries, roles, and environments, career resilience is dependent not only on our curiosity and ambition, it depends on our ability to convey to a potential new employer that we can apply all of what we’ve learned from every experience to be successful in a completely different role or industry.
For people who choose a more linear career path, career resilience depends on an ability to stay curious, and to prove, over and over again, that they will continue to be competent as the organization shifts into the future.
What does career resilience look like for you?
“Be curious about every person you meet. A diverse network is a powerful network.”
Bob & I discussed this topic and agreed that regardless of your career path, your career resilience grows with every opportunity you take to learn, and to build strong relationships across all parts of your life. As I’ve mentioned before, protecting your future income is critical, and two aspects of that are life-long learning in every aspect of life (personal growth/development, skill building), and building your diverse network of people before you need them.
Bob Musial, principal at StreetSmart Business Development, is a coach, humorist and author, with a 45-year background in sales, marketing, advertising and customer experience. His book, “Soft Skills. Hard Returns,” contains humor-laced stories with practical applications of soft skills in situations most people encounter daily. The ebook is available on Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble and other platforms.
Connect with Bob on LinkedIn to keep up with work!
Where is Your Tribe?
They created and nurtured a tribe like few get to experience.
Tragedy hits; who do you reach out to? Who will reach out to you? You might be surprised.
Our dear friends lost their son in a car accident and our community is mourning the loss of this beautiful soul. Their lives, and the lives of so many this young man's energy and love impacted, are forever changed. But that's not the point of this story, because his family and those closest to him will tell it themselves.
It's Their Story
People who have experienced tragedy will tell you that those who they believed would be there for them often disappear, while people they weren't particularly close to were the ones who showed up.
There are many reasons for this, and I've written a lot about that theme over the years. But the biggest reason I can share is that people are uncomfortable with grief. That discomfort comes from knowing how unpredictable life can be - that it could be them, and it comes from not knowing what to say or do, and not being able to make things better.
But those who show up make the difference. Though it's disappointing when those you thought would be there aren't, the extraordinary beauty of those who DO show up shines a light like nothing else can.
The only light I've been able to see, the only comfort I've been able to find as my friends absorb this new reality is that they are surrounded by the love and light of their community.
Over the years I've known them, they've shared themselves, their love, creativity, and vibrant appreciation for life with everyone they come in contact with, anywhere. My friends transformed friends into family at every opportunity by nourishing people at their dining room tables, through their art, and over miles and miles of outdoor adventures. They created their tribe for just this moment, this time when they need them.
This tribe will not disappear at the scent, sound, and thick fog of grief. This tribe will show up, at all hours, at any moment and in any location to be there for our friends. We will grieve together, and know when and how to leave room for the grief of the parents and sibling, which is unlike any other grief.
This tribe will never - ever - utter the words: "I know how you feel." Because they know, without a doubt, that they can't know.
It Could Be Your Story
Do you have a tribe? Have you cultivated with generosity, kindness, and love a community you know will show up when you need them?
Just like a business network, if you wait until you need them when you are unemployed or underemployed, you will be lost for much, much longer than you would have been had you maintained and nurtured those connections.
We may feel very connected to those we know online, but if we're not spending time in real life with real people, we're not building the kind of tribe I'm talking about here.
Build your tribe before you need them. Reach out to those you feel connected to and nurture those relationships. Spend time face-to-face, schedule dates of walks, lunches, and silliness.
Make time now, because you may not have tomorrow.
*This post is dedicated to the memory of the sparkly, deeply intelligent, beautifully loving man lost on December 13, 2017, Kyle Boundy, and to his family and friends who will be forever changed for having experienced his love.*