Episode 160: When You Feel Honored to Do the Work You Do
This woman is absolutely compelled to improve life for people she encounters. She sees the best in people, and has a beautiful way of bringing out the most endearing qualities. At the same time, she doesn't hesitate to let them know when they're getting in their own way.
Her number one talent in the StrengthsFinder assessment is Includer, which means that she is compelled to include others, and to be included herself. Sarah is the kind of woman who walks into a roomful of people and has a sixth sense in finding the most uncomfortable person, knowing exactly what to say to make them more comfortable, and nurturing that comfort to the point of that person actually enjoying themselves.
Life Just Makes More Sense When Your Work Lights You Up
Image of Sarah Johnston for podcast cover art.
Have you ever interviewed or been interviewed by someone with your name? Boy can that feel strange and awkward.
This conversation with Sarah Johnston was anything but awkward. She dropped some insights here that kept my brain in gear and spinning for days afterward.
This woman is absolutely compelled to improve life for people she encounters. She sees the best in people, and has a beautiful way of bringing out the most endearing qualities. At the same time, she doesn't hesitate to let them know when they're getting in their own way.
Her number one talent in the StrengthsFinder assessment is Includer, which means that she is compelled to include others, and to be included herself. Sarah is the kind of woman who walks into a roomful of people and has a sixth sense in finding the most uncomfortable person, knowing exactly what to say to make them more comfortable, and nurturing that comfort to the point of that person actually enjoying themselves.
When Sarah works with a client, she listens with an intensity to hear what is not being said. Her story about the medical student who had given up on applying for a residency, and instead decided to focus on applying to be a medical technician or physician's assistant provides a crystal clear image of what she hears and how she compassionately presents her thoughts to others.
Sarah's work most definitely has huge impact on individual job seekers, but the true gift in her work is the ripple effect it has. For a person who has been out of work or under employed for a significant length of time, simply getting an interview can create a positive shift in mindset. Getting a job means a huge impact on that person's family and friends, and can shift the lives of others through the decisions to pay it forward.
The way that Sarah transitioned between jobs, and then into her own business is inspiring.
*Correction at approximately 20 minutes, I referred to Heather Younger's book, The Art of Caring Leadership, which will be released in Spring, 2021, but her first book is, The 7 Intuitive Laws of Employee Loyalty, and was published in 2017. Listen to her podcast here.
Episode 159: Her Stories, Her Hustle, Her Community
I met Michelle Y. Talbert via LinkedIn years ago, when I was first building my network. I was intrigued by her podcast Her Power Hustle, and was immediately inspired by her honesty and integrity in the work she did.
Your Stories Aren't Always About You. Meaningful Stories Belong to the Community You Create.
I met Michelle Y. Talbert via LinkedIn years ago, when I was first building my network. I was intrigued by her podcast Her Power Hustle, and was immediately inspired by her honesty and integrity in the work she did.
We reconnected in late 2020 and when I asked her to be a guest on my podcast, I was honored when she accepted the invitation.
Michelle has career stories that surprise and inspire, her passion and motivation to create a professional network full of encouraging business and people-builders is infectious, and her resilience and focus on her sense of responsibility to her community is extraordinary.
Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn, and be sure to follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Episode 158: Happy New Year Every Day, Because Every Day is an Opportunity
My plan, in case you want to know, is to keep taking things one day at a time, to mostly ignore the news because nothing said there is going to change my behavior in any way, and continue to make an effort every day to live in alignment with who I believe I can be.
I'll fail sometimes. The judge-y internal voice will pop up and I'll have to address it. I'll step in it with people I love and respect because of obliviousness and self-absorption, and I'll eat potato chips when I know a better option is out there.
Our Most Meaningful Stories Prepare Us for Our Most Pivotal Moments
We know instinctively that nothing significantly changes overnight based on an arbitrary calendar date. And yet, we still find a way to optimistically celebrate December 31st and January 1st as if something magical will happen and we’ll wake up with:
A different news feed
The motivation to change our eating habits
The inspiration to create and stick with a new routine that includes daily exercise
The flexibility and ambition to change our careers and businesses.
All without having to wade through the tough stuff. Like magic. Poof!
The new year is a great time to reflect on life, though I love to do that more often than once a year. As a matter of fact, I much prefer to take the week of my birthday to do my deeper soul-searching. That date seems far less arbitrary to me.
When I think about my most pivotal moments in life, the birth of our boys, the death of my dad, leaving my last job to be self-employed, the major conflicts in my life that lead to big changes in my self-perception and confidence, I realize none of those happened suddenly. Sure there was the moment Jacob arrived, at 8:09pm on a cold day in October, but I had 40+ weeks of gradual preparation for that moment.
There are very few true “lightbulb” moments, you know, the kind that suddenly illuminate.
The majority of our “lightbulb” moments aren’t actually that – they’re on a dimmer switch, and it happens to be that a moment in time is captured as being the one when the light came on – fully bright and sparkling.
When we collect our most meaningful moments as stories, we can see the patterns that created our pathways. We can begin to connect the dots of our journey and better understand that nothing happened suddenly, there were always cues and clues that brought us to that moment.
Why does that matter? Because when we connect those dots from the past, we can make far more intentional decisions for the future. Plus, we gain some clarity around what truly makes us happy and satisfied so we can set our sight on something that makes sense.
On my annual New Year’s Day hike this year with a group of fabulous women, one of them asked me about my work. I told her this:
It’s amazing, really. I use the StrengthsFinder assessment in my coaching for individuals and teams, and I’m about to start a three-session program with a small group. Last week I reviewed each of their strengths – remember, I’ve never met these people and have had only limited conversations with them! – and went to a local store to pick a special gift for each of them, based on their assessment results.
I do this regularly for my clients because I love to know just enough about people to be able to pick a perfect gift for them. This is my way of making sure they know I SEE them, I GET them, and I value their natural talents.
It’s like magic, Wendy. When I truly see my clients, I can immediately acknowledge what they’re really good at, what makes them special, and I can see what their blind spots are likely to be.
She was grinning as I spoke, nodding her head as she listened, because she loves her job, too, and she understood and could relate to the joy I was expressing.
I said: “It took me nearly 50 years to find my sweet spot, to truly use my talents in this way.”
On my walk on the mountain with my dog today, January 2nd, I couldn’t help but think about the strange phenomenon of denial, that we can fool ourselves into optimism that things will change overnight each year.
It’s not a bad thing to be optimistic like that unless we become filled with disappointment when we wake up to the same situation we fell asleep with.
This holiday doesn't have special meaning to me, usually just an excuse to have a party, prepare and eat splurge foods, and for the past couple of years, perform at a fun venue in fancy dress.
Nothing actually changes between December 31st and January 1st, it's an arbitrary boundary to make sense of our days, to create a linear, organized way of acknowledging the passing of time.
If you're expecting to wake up tomorrow with an entirely different news feed, you're going to be seriously disappointed.
My plan, in case you want to know, is to keep taking things one day at a time, to mostly ignore the news because nothing said there is going to change my behavior in any way, and continue to make an effort every day to live in alignment with who I believe I can be.
I'll fail sometimes. The judge-y internal voice will pop up and I'll have to address it. I'll step in it with people I love and respect because of obliviousness and self-absorption, and I'll eat potato chips when I know a better option is out there.
Every day is an opportunity to do it right. To apologize, to take correction with grace and curiosity, to learn, and to make plans for travel and adventure, knowing nothing is certain and that those plans are likely to be adjusted.
I’ll continue to let go of unhealthy relationships that don’t inspire and encourage me, and will continue to fill my life with people who, when I tell them I have a crazy idea, say: “Awesome, Sarah, what can I do to help?”
I wish you a happy new year every single day, because every day you have choices to make that will impact the next... and the next... and the next. Don't wait for a special occasion.
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About Sarah:
Audiobook now available!
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Click here to buy the book!
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 157: What if You Were Compelled to be a Chameleon to Succeed?
Jason Greer can be a chameleon when necessary. When Jason Greer and his co-author Phil Dixon began the journey of writing their book, Bias, Racism, and the Brain, Jason didn't consider how writing the stories of racism in his life would impact his internal messages, and how they would affect the simmering of those experiences under the surface of his life.
How Would Your Stories Shift, And What Does That Mean for Your Internal Messages?
Jason Greer can be a chameleon when necessary. When Jason Greer and his co-author Phil Dixon began the journey of writing their book, Bias, Racism, and the Brain, Jason didn't consider how writing the stories of racism in his life would impact his internal messages, and how they would affect the simmering of those experiences under the surface of his life.
At one point after sending a story to his co-author, Phil sent it back, saying that Jason had to go into more detail, to dig deeper if their intention to guide readers to empathy and compassion was going to be successful.
What Jason didn't realize was that though he had these vivid memories, he had largely buried the emotional connection to them. And when he began to write, truly write them down, that simmering often came to a boil, not just of anger and injustice, but of frustration and concern that he had not yet addressed these experiences in a way that would allow him to be truly comfortable in his skin. His brown, beautiful skin.
Jason told me that he often had to be a chameleon in his life, adjusting how he speaks, dresses, and carries himself depending on his audience. In his book, he mentions "the clutch", his reference to when white women clutch their purses to them when he walks nearby.
He finds himself shrinking his posture and speaking more softly to make people around him more comfortable.
Jason with his parents, Elaine & Dr. Jerome Greer
We talked about how that impacts his inner voice and sense of identity, that requirement to be different somehow, just to make himself less ... well... himself, less of a perceived threat, no matter whether he's wearing a fine tailored suit or workout clothes.As I read this book, I felt anger, frustration, grief, a sense of helplessness. Mostly I felt anger that these things happened to anyone, and that so many people continue to experience these acts of subtle and overt racism and bigotry.
A couple of things that really stuck with me were that I felt I could relate to some of the stories, even as a white woman, because every one of us has experienced bigotry at some point. Against our gender, where we grew up, our education or lack of, our accent... the list goes on.
But the other thing that stuck with me is more relevant: How little we notice and acknowledge this common experience of bigotry in our lives in order to stop ourselves from doing it to others.
Lucky for us readers, Phil Dixon explains a lot of why this occurs, what kind of bias that is, and offers some strategies to notice, reduce, and adjust those biases.
Jason & his wife, Tiffany
This was a conversation I will remember for years, I'm sure. And I sincerely hope listeners will read this book, absorb it, and get embarrassed and angry enough to step up to address our complicit behaviors when people around us experience bigotry and racism of any kind.
During this episode, I shared that when our boys were little, I gave Hanukkah presentations to the students in their elementary school every year. I knew that if I didn't do this, the majority of these students in Montana wouldn't be exposed to Judaism by a Jewish person. I bought dreidels (spinning top game for Hanukkah) in bulk and gave away hundreds of them over the years. A local bakery would make miniature jelly doughnuts (an Israeli Hanukkah treat) by the multiple dozens for me and I'd distribute both to hundreds of students each year.
2010: Photo courtesy of Dylan Brown, Helena Independent Record
During my presentation I would explain that tolerance is only the beginning. Tolerance is putting on blinders and saying: "I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't affect me." (It's kind of like telling people you're color blind.)
We must go far beyond tolerance to acknowledging and valuing the differences among us. Not to just accept those differences, but to embrace them as beautiful contributions to our communities.
Start here. (Link to Jason & Phil's book.)
Tolerance is only the beginning…
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Jason Greer (also known as the "Employee Whisperer") provides expertise and solutions for companies on how to empower and retain employees and managers while also helping these systems to remain union free.
Jason previously served as a Federal Agent with the National Labor Relations Board where he managed private sector labor relations’ issues and worked to improve the labor petition filing process.
Jason has been recognized as an Employee/Labor Relations and Diversity expert by Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, The Los Angeles Times, ABC, CBS and Fox News. Jason was named one of the Top Entrepreneurs To Watch in 2020 by Thrive Global. He is also the author of the Amazon #1 Best Selling Book “People Matter Most”.
Connect with Jason on LinkedIn, and visit his website to learn more.
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About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 156: Our Experiences Create Our Identity, How We Talk About Them Shapes Our Future
Anna Cley was an outstanding student. And then she was a rocket scientist... and then she became an opera singer...
Her stepfather gave her the nudge she needed when she was miserable in her job as a scientist with the French Centre National D’Etudes Spatiales (CNES), France's equivalent to the USA's NASA. He told her that she could do anything she really wanted to do, he gave her the permission she needed to completely switch gears and follow her heart.
Stories of Pivot Points in Life
Anna Cley was an outstanding student. And then she was a rocket scientist... and then she became an opera singer...
Her stepfather gave her the nudge she needed when she was miserable in her job as a scientist with the French Centre National D’Etudes Spatiales (CNES), France's equivalent to the USA's NASA. He told her that she could do anything she really wanted to do, he gave her the permission she needed to completely switch gears and follow her heart.
The idea of being a rocket scientist interested her because of her childhood infatuation with all things space, the endless nature and mystery of the cosmos. Going to work in the industry nearly ruined that infatuation, removing so much of the beauty of exploration and putting it into numbers and measurements, in small compartments in a tiny office with a desk and computer.
At 23, she was "old" to begin a career in opera, but she has an unusual range and an extraordinary presence.
I love the image she created for me with her story of pulling the box of her scores (sheet music) out of the closet after leaving her job. I could just imagine her pulling out the first piece she would sing to warm up her voice after more than four years, like a long-awaited reunion with a dear friend.
Anna's adventurous spirit has taken her all over the world, and her compassion inspired her to create a non-profit called Vocalise, guiding victims of abuse to use their voices to release the trauma stored in their hearts and bodies.
Our conversation was enlightening, fascinating, and full of "ah ha" moments. Enjoy!
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Anna Cley
From rocket science to opera...
Transformational Artist
Performance & Leadership Specialist
Humanitarian
Visit Anna's website, get ready for her book launch next year, follow her on YouTube and Instagram, and connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more.
Her album "opera en code"was released in July, 2020 on all digital platforms. Here's a place to start to listen to this musical creation.
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About Sarah:
Click the image to purchase the audiobook, or purchase the paperback here!
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 155: Some of the Most Precious Gifts Come from Great Sacrifice
She was miserable in those first few months of her senior year of high school, studying abroad in the United States, thousands of miles from her home and family in Brazil. It’s not because she didn’t fit in, or she wasn’t making friends. What made her miserable was that she was working so hard in academics and sports, and not meeting her own expectations of achievement.
Our Stories Honor Those Sacrifices When We Push Ourselves Out of Our Comfort Zones
Marcela Niemeyer has always been an achiever, driven to be the best at whatever she sets her mind to do. In some families, that can create conflict, particularly when a parent doesn’t have the same drive, and cannot understand why a child would put so much pressure on herself to meet and exceed her goals.
But Marcela’s father understood her. He knew that if she gave up on something, it would haunt her for many years, that she would face regrets and those “what if” questions for decades.
She was miserable in those first few months of her senior year of high school, studying abroad in the United States, thousands of miles from her home and family in Brazil. It’s not because she didn’t fit in, or she wasn’t making friends. What made her miserable was that she was working so hard in academics and sports, and not meeting her own expectations of achievement.
Marcela was starting from scratch when she decided on track & field, her sport at home was swimming. Her placement in the group was the lowest of the athletes, and she wasn’t used to starting at the bottom.
Academics were a struggle too, and for the first time, she saw low grades that crushed her confidence. She called her father: “I want to come home.”
He told her she couldn’t come home. He was adamant that she stay and work through the challenges. He absolutely refused to let her give up, despite her desperate tears over the phone.
As I heard this story, I was moved to tears. I’m a parent, and I know the sacrifice her father made to say those words, to turn away from his child and tell her no, she must continue to struggle. There isn’t much worse for a parent than to witness that pain and not be able to - or to know better than to - fix it for your child.
She’s driven, and her father knew she’d figure out what to do next to make life bearable. Marcela worked hard to improve, finishing the year at the top of her team, and graduated with her class, her mother and father traveled from Brazil to watch her cross the stage and receive her diploma.
Her whole life follows that course, trying things others might be too afraid to attempt, full of curiosity about herself and the world around her, and in a constant state of learning and growing. She’s a force of life.
Enjoy learning more about Marcela Niemeyer, you’ll love her stories, her tenaciousness, and her love for life and people.
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Marcela Niemeyer has decades of experience in a variety of HR roles, and is currently on the lookout for her next adventure. Connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more about her adventurous spirit and her gift for bringing people together, finding the diamond in the rough, no matter where she sits.
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About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 154: What Can We Say, What Questions Can We Ask to Help Us Understand Each Other?
Desiree Adaway is no stranger to being the only black person in a room, or even in an entire community.
At 16, while skipping class, she saw an ad in the back of a magazine about exchange student programs and applied, signing her mother’s name on the application, the passport application, and all other necessary documents.
Stories of Racism, and the Importance of Acknowledging Each Other’s Experiences
Desiree Adaway is no stranger to being the only black person in a room, or even in an entire community.
At 16, while skipping class, she saw an ad in the back of a magazine about exchange student programs and applied, signing her mother’s name on the application, the passport application, and all other necessary documents.
She was accepted into the program, but had to decline the invitation because she knew her mother couldn’t afford it. The program administrator found a sponsor, and Desiree started packing - before ever talking to her mother.
Desiree didn’t want to go to Germany. She felt a deep need to go, like she would suffocate if she didn’t go.
Arriving in Germany, she was placed with a host family in a tiny town where she was the only person with dark brown skin within more than a 500 mile radius. Her peers touched her skin and hair, stared at her, she felt like an animal at the zoo. And that was only the beginning.
Throughout school and career, she had many of these experiences, including being the only black person at board meetings, management team events. She lost track of the number of times strangers have reached out without hesitation, much less asking to touch her hair, her skin, one woman at a market hugged her as if she had no ownership of her own body. People have had an outrageous sense of entitlement to touch her. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you put this entitlement into the context of the history of the enslavement of dark skinned people, you might begin to understand.
This part of her story particularly resonated with me because of my experiences as a pregnant woman. Strangers would randomly reach out to touch my belly - and I know this is a common experience during pregnancy. It’s absurd.
Our conversation here is rich with experiences, stories to open eyes to the many different ways racism is experienced in a variety of environments.
The highlight for me was when I asked Desiree about a positive experience when a white person acknowledged racism, acknowledged the beauty of diversity as opposed to pretending to be “color blind.”
She said that her business partner, early in their relationship, pulled her aside and said these words:
One day my whiteness will betray me and I’m going to make a mistake. What will we do to move through that?
The extraordinary thing about how Desiree told me this is that she turned it around and applied that sentiment to herself. She acknowledged that at some point she will fall into that trap as well, potentially with gender identity issues and other parts of humanity that she’s unfamiliar.
If we want to address inequity and racism, we must acknowledge it as it exists for those who experience it.
If you’re ready to take action as a human, you don’t have to make huge gestures. You must notice when micro-aggressions happen, and if you miss it and someone points it out to you, do not dismiss the concern. Ask about it, find out why it’s so insulting, demeaning, why the action or words are symbols of racism and bigotry.
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Desiree Adaway is a consultant, trainer, coach and speaker building resilient, equitable, and inclusive organizations. She holds a vision for people’s lives, workplaces and communities until they can hold it for themselves. Learn more by visiting her website, connect with her on LinkedIn, and be sure to follow her on your favorite social media platforms: Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.