244: How Does Storytelling Make You More Relatable and Inspiring?
In this episode Sarah Elkins and her guest, Greg McDonough, an accomplished entrepeneur and finance consultant, discuss the importance of telling one's story in a meaningful and relevant way so that it resonates with the audience in a way that can be both compelling and inspiring.
The Meaningfulness of Relevant Stories
In this episode Sarah Elkins and her guest, Greg McDonough, an accomplished entrepeneur and finance consultant, discuss the importance of telling one's story in a meaningful and relevant way so that it resonates with the audience in a way that can be both compelling and inspiring.
Highlights from the episode:
Your strengths are your stories.
Sharing somthing meaningful so that it is relevant.
People want to see that these stories are possible and achievable.
Quotes
It's not about your story, it's about how your audience receives it.
Be conscious of where you are in the moment and how the moment is going to reflect in your stories going forward.
Referenced in this podcast:
The Impactful Leadership podcast episode featuring Sarah Elkins
The Entrepreneurs' Organization website
From Greg's LinkedIn profile:
My passion is to help my clients balance the amount of sleep they have with the amount they EAT (earnings after-tax). We manage their risk-taking so they can sleep better at night while also managing their business to produce the after-tax cash flow they need. It is a tricky combination but through a team approach, we are able to achieve these goals together.
Connect with Greg on LinkedIn, subscribe to The Impactful Leadership podcast, and check out his website!
*Show notes contributed by Chinook Bromlie-Estey
About Sarah:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
Episode 198: At What Point Do We Respond to Past Trauma to Define Ourselves with Intention?
At what point in our lives do we respond to our trauma and define who we are?
In Sarah Elkins' latest podcast, she and writer Cheryl Bostrom,
talk about Cheryl’s newest novel, "Sugar Birds", and the connections between the characters and pieces of ourselves.
Strengthen your trajectory in life as Sarah and Cheryl draw deeper into this topic of self-discovery through hardship.
Sugar Birds by Cheryl Bostrom: Entertaining and Full of Soul
*Note from Sarah: We're just two weeks away from publishing our 200th episode! If you're a fan of the podcast, we'd love to hear from you and include your words at the beginning of that episode. Simply email your thoughts to sarahelkins@elkinsconsulting.com, or record a short voice memo on your phone and email it to me. Thank you in advance for helping us celebrate this milestone!*
At what point in our lives do we respond to our trauma and define who we are?
In Sarah Elkins' latest podcast, she and writer Cheryl Bostrom,
talk about Cheryl’s newest novel, "Sugar Birds", and the connections between the characters and pieces of ourselves.
Cheryl discusses her characters in terms of her own experiences, some of which we may relate to including: running from trauma, struggling with depression, dodging emotional bullets, and becoming self-reflective.
Strengthen your trajectory in life as Sarah and Cheryl draw deeper into this topic of self-discovery through hardship.
"It arrived as so many of these things have for me, like pieces in the jigsaw puzzle or like you said like the mosaic that composes us or that helps us to see who we are becoming and how we are being shaped.”
*Show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
About Cheryl:
Cheryl Bostrom is the author of the award-winning novel, “Sugar
Birds”, a Pacific Northwest naturalist, photographer, and editor. Cheryl has also written two non-fiction books entitled “The View from Goose Ridge: Watching Nature Seeing Life” and “Children At Promise: 9 Principles to Help Kids Thrive in an at Risk World” with Dr. Tim Stuart.
Cheryl attended Pacific Lutheran University and Washington State University.
Visit Cheryl’s website, check out her books, and follow Cheryl on LinkedIn and Twitter to learn more!
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
ABOUT SARAH:
Image of Sarah Elkins and her dog in the snow with Elkins Consulting logo and StrengthsFinder logo
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 191: After Happily Ever After, a Novel by Leslie Rasmussen That Hits Home
Leslie Rasmussen didn't intend to write a novel. Her idea was to interview people in their 40s, empty-nesting or nearly empty nesting, in long-term relationships or newly divorced, hearing their stories and finding commonalities in order to write a non-fiction book for people to find comfort in these transitions.
She found so many commonalities that she decided to combine the patterns she was hearing about to write the stories of one fictional family's experience.
This story resonates because it feels so familiar. Every character is familiar, from the teenaged daughter to the high achieving best friend. The primary protagonist is me. She's you. She's your husband or your wife. Though her actions and how she chooses to move through her current situation won't exactly match what you might do, the feelings and circumstances absolutely will.
We Have a Lot More in Common Than We Think
Leslie Rasmussen podcast episode cover art.
Leslie Rasmussen didn't intend to write a novel. Her idea was to interview people in their 40s, empty-nesting or nearly empty nesting, in long-term relationships or newly divorced, hearing their stories and finding commonalities in order to write a non-fiction book for people to find comfort in these transitions.
She found so many commonalities that she decided to combine the patterns she was hearing about to write the stories of one fictional family's experience.
This story resonates because it feels so familiar. Every character is familiar, from the teenaged daughter to the high achieving best friend. The primary protagonist is me. She's you. She's your husband or your wife. Though her actions and how she chooses to move through her current situation won't exactly match what you might do, the feelings and circumstances absolutely will.
Our conversation began with movie trivia... it turns out that Leslie started her career in Los Angeles as an actress. After her cameo appearance in a major film, she had an epiphany about what she really wanted, which was to be involved in filmmaking, but not necessarily as an actress.
Follow Leslie on Facebook, Instagram, and be sure to grab your copy of her book, After Happily Ever After.
From Leslie's website:
Leslie A. Rasmussen was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She graduated with a bachelors from UCLA in Communications and went on to write television comedies for Gerald McRaney, Burt Reynolds, Roseanne Barr, Norm McDonald, Drew Carey, and Ralph Macchio as well as The Wild Thornberrys and Sweet Valley High. Later, she earned a master’s degree in nutrition and ran her own business for ten years. Most recently, Leslie has written personal essays for online magazines such as Huffington Post, Maria Shriver and Sheknows. Leslie loves dogs and besides having two adorable Labradors, she volunteers at The Burbank Animal Shelter, in Burbank, California. Leslie lives in Los Angeles and has two sons, and a husband she’s been with since college.
This is her debut novel.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 181: When Did You Realize Your Behavior is a Choice?
Stories of Self-Transformation Through Emotional Intelligence
"Who are you? I don't even know you!"
A friend of Teresa Quinlan witnessed a different person when they visited her family. Around her mother Teresa regressed to a surly teenager, and that was her friend's reaction.
Stories of Self-Transformation Through Emotional Intelligence
"Who are you? I don't even know you!"
A friend of Teresa Quinlan witnessed a different person when they visited her family. Around her mother Teresa regressed to a surly teenager, and that was her friend's reaction.
Teresa Quinlan episode 181 podcast cover art with image and quote
It was that moment Teresa realized she had to take control of her own behavior, she didn't like who she was when she was around her mother. And when she lost control like that, it was as if she was giving away her power.
As an EQ (emotional intelligence) coach, Teresa can look back at that moment and see that she changed, that she made a conscious choice to adjust her behavior, and to learn what triggered it.
We all have that power. Listen to this episode of Your Stories Don't Define you to learn how you can shift your stories to find more meaning and value in your relationships - with yourself and others.
From Teresa's website:
Teresa Quinlan quote for podcast cover art
"Emotional Intelligence is the intersection where cognition and emotion meet. It makes possible our capacity for resilience, motivation, empathy, reasoning, stress management, communication, and our ability to read and navigate a wide range of social situations and conflicts."
For these reasons, Emotional Intelligence often matters more than IQ.
As a coach, leadership specialist, master facilitator, and speaker, I build Emotionally Intelligent Organizations because I am an advocate for exceptional performance that is a direct result of each individual knowing how to be personally responsible for using their talents, their EQ, their IQ, and their personality, in reaching their highest potential.
It is only when we are human-focused that we can tap into the excellence that exists within each of us.
Connect with Teresa on LinkedIn to keep up with the great content she shares, and be sure to check out the great podcast she hosts with Rhys Thomas.
Image of Sarah Elkins and book cover
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home. The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 155: Some of the Most Precious Gifts Come from Great Sacrifice
She was miserable in those first few months of her senior year of high school, studying abroad in the United States, thousands of miles from her home and family in Brazil. It’s not because she didn’t fit in, or she wasn’t making friends. What made her miserable was that she was working so hard in academics and sports, and not meeting her own expectations of achievement.
Our Stories Honor Those Sacrifices When We Push Ourselves Out of Our Comfort Zones
Marcela Niemeyer has always been an achiever, driven to be the best at whatever she sets her mind to do. In some families, that can create conflict, particularly when a parent doesn’t have the same drive, and cannot understand why a child would put so much pressure on herself to meet and exceed her goals.
But Marcela’s father understood her. He knew that if she gave up on something, it would haunt her for many years, that she would face regrets and those “what if” questions for decades.
She was miserable in those first few months of her senior year of high school, studying abroad in the United States, thousands of miles from her home and family in Brazil. It’s not because she didn’t fit in, or she wasn’t making friends. What made her miserable was that she was working so hard in academics and sports, and not meeting her own expectations of achievement.
Marcela was starting from scratch when she decided on track & field, her sport at home was swimming. Her placement in the group was the lowest of the athletes, and she wasn’t used to starting at the bottom.
Academics were a struggle too, and for the first time, she saw low grades that crushed her confidence. She called her father: “I want to come home.”
He told her she couldn’t come home. He was adamant that she stay and work through the challenges. He absolutely refused to let her give up, despite her desperate tears over the phone.
As I heard this story, I was moved to tears. I’m a parent, and I know the sacrifice her father made to say those words, to turn away from his child and tell her no, she must continue to struggle. There isn’t much worse for a parent than to witness that pain and not be able to - or to know better than to - fix it for your child.
She’s driven, and her father knew she’d figure out what to do next to make life bearable. Marcela worked hard to improve, finishing the year at the top of her team, and graduated with her class, her mother and father traveled from Brazil to watch her cross the stage and receive her diploma.
Her whole life follows that course, trying things others might be too afraid to attempt, full of curiosity about herself and the world around her, and in a constant state of learning and growing. She’s a force of life.
Enjoy learning more about Marcela Niemeyer, you’ll love her stories, her tenaciousness, and her love for life and people.
—-
Marcela Niemeyer has decades of experience in a variety of HR roles, and is currently on the lookout for her next adventure. Connect with her on LinkedIn to learn more about her adventurous spirit and her gift for bringing people together, finding the diamond in the rough, no matter where she sits.
—-
About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 152: A Relationship with Yourself: Lessons Learned through Self Reflection
Ron wasn't always as self-reflective as he is now, it is something he learned as a result of difficult relationships. At some point he realized that if he wanted healthy, loving relationships, he was going to have to be a person who earned them, a person who learned from his mistakes.
It was a process, becoming a self-listener. Ron learned to take a step back after conversations to reflect on how they went, the good and the bad, and what he might have done right or what he could have done better. Eventually he started taking that step back during conversations, rather than waiting until afterward, so he could see where he was going and make necessary adjustments either to shift the conversation in a more positive direction, or recognize when it was time to cut and run.
Wisdom from a Veteran on Veteran's Day 2020
This week’s episode of the podcast was an unexpected opportunity to record a conversation I had with a dear friend and veteran Ron Burns – on Veteran’s Day – in my home.
We usually get together for a beer when he visits, and as we started talking, and he started sharing stories and thoughts about current events, I realized this would make a great episode. On many occasions I walk away from a conversation inspired and touched, and disappointed that I didn't record it. This time I was ahead of myself, thank goodness, and asked if I could hit the record button on my phone.
Ron grew up in the northwest part of Montana, where cold weather means significantly under zero degrees and windchill that can freeze your lungs when you inhale. You could say people there are hardy. Or crazy. Or both.
We met just a few years after my family moved to Montana. Our mutual friend Stephanie introduced us one evening at a bar where a large group had congregated on a winter evening. Five minutes into our very first conversation, he dropped unexpected wisdom into my heart, words I carry with me now, nearly 20 years later. It was about relationships, and his caring, thoughtful words were exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.
Ron wasn't always as self-reflective as he is now, it is something he learned as a result of difficult relationships. At some point he realized that if he wanted healthy, loving relationships, he was going to have to be a person who earned them, a person who learned from his mistakes.
It was a process, becoming a self-listener. Ron learned to take a step back after conversations to reflect on how they went, the good and the bad, and what he might have done right or what he could have done better. Eventually he started taking that step back during conversations, rather than waiting until afterward, so he could see where he was going and make necessary adjustments either to shift the conversation in a more positive direction, or recognize when it was time to cut and run.
This quality is something I noticed early in our relationship, and have always appreciated the thoughtfulness he puts into his language and actions.
I realized something during this conversation: If more people took the time and effort to consider their own roles in communication and miscommunication, people in our communities would be much healthier and happier.
And now... I'm introducing you to Ron Burns for your listening pleasure.
---
About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by my band, Spare Change, in my living room in Montana.
Episode 151: Every Situation Can Become A Meaningful Story
It was tempting to hunker down and immediately get to work, even though I knew I wouldn't be inspired or productive, mostly spinning my wheels and finding opportunities for distraction.
Instead, I forced myself to put on my hiking boots and take the dog for a long walk. I knew if I could get myself outside for a little while, I'd be far more productive for the rest of the day.
I was right.
Self-Reflection Can Help You Rid Your World of "Shoulds"
I woke up the other day inspired to write a blog post encouraging people to really re-think their holidays this year, to avoid trying to make them feel “normal”, and stressing out over obligations they cannot meet.
Madly typing away, I knew I was on to something important, inspiring even!
For some reason, I saved the article without sharing or posting it anywhere.
When I woke up the next day, I was faced with two struggles:
Our major kitchen remodel would be delayed again, and we will not be back in there for Thanksgiving, and
I received an email that made me uncomfortable, and had to acknowledge something I didn’t want to see in myself, something I really don’t love.
It was tempting to hunker down and immediately get to work, even though I knew I wouldn't be inspired or productive, mostly spinning my wheels and finding opportunities for distraction.
Instead, I forced myself to put on my hiking boots and take the dog for a long walk. I knew if I could get myself outside for a little while, I'd be far more productive for the rest of the day.
I was right.
As I walked in the snow in the crisp, clear air, I realized the tone of my article was too “preachy.” It happens sometimes when I have an idea I really want to share, an idea I believe will make a positive impact on people.
Toby is definitely a mountain & snow dog. Mt Helena, Helena, Montana
But I know better than to write and speak about things as if I’m separate from them, that if I want to have an impact, the lesson has to take the form of a personal story. Understanding why I didn’t post the article helped me realize that THAT was the thing I didn’t want to see in myself. I had been in the mode of advising, rather than coaching, when I clearly needed to be the latter for that situation.
Finally feeling more clear headed as I walked, I realized that because of the disappointment of the delayed house project, I had a perfect story to share to make my point about rethinking the holidays this year.
Rethinking Our Holiday Season
Our Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have always been pretty low-key. We’ve lived at least 750 miles from our nearest family member since we moved to Montana 21 years ago. Even so, the holidays can be stressful for me, when it comes time to acknowledge our family with gifts that are meaningful, especially because we live so far away and don’t see each other often.
I recently recorded an episode of Unapologetically Bold, I’m Not Sorry For… with Emily Elrod, and we talked about removing the word “should” from our vocabulary. This was in the context of internal “shoulds”, like “I should go to the gym” or “I should eat a salad instead of these potato chips.” And also our external “shoulds” like “you shouldn’t eat those potato chips” and “you should change your oil every 5,000 miles!”
Should can be condescending, but worse for me is how it is associated with obligation.
Anyone who has gone to a family Thanksgiving dinner that they really didn’t want to go to understands obligation. What they might not realize is that the people at the table know you’re feeling obligated and that you don’t really want to be there.
What do you think that does to your relationships? Obligation is the precursor to guilt, neither are good for relationships.
But how to we back out without making things worse?
Imagine that you’ve invited a close friend over for dinner, and she shows up but obviously doesn’t want to be there. She thinks she’s being subtle, that you don’t know, but of course you feel it.
She felt obligated for one reason or another, and here she is. Do you notice her distance? Does it bother you that she didn’t feel like she could say something to you, to cancel or postpone the date? Or do you relish in her feeling obligated, does it make you feel good that she came only because she had to, not because she wanted to? I doubt it.
What if she said: “I can’t join you and your family for dinner, it’s uncomfortable for me, too chaotic. I’d like to have dinner with just you so we can really connect. Is next Saturday okay?”
She’s being honest about her discomfort, and though it’s a little painful that your family creates discomfort for her, aren’t you grateful for her honesty? Plus, she’s not making up an excuse, and she’s asking for a specific time – with the specific intention to spend time with you, as opposed to saying “raincheck?”
Here we are, heading into holidays full of “should”, obligation, and guilt.
Are Those "Shoulds" Yours, or Do They Belong to Someone Else?
When I say remodel, I’m serious!
I had a grand vision of Thanksgiving in our home in our newly renovated kitchen. We’ve spent 20 years in the house and have done a lot of critical projects inside this 1890 Victorian in the mountains, but we hadn’t touched the kitchen… until now.
You can imagine my disappointment when I heard the news that we wouldn’t be back in the kitchen until at least the week after Thanksgiving.
My vision of hosting our grown sons and their girlfriends in our new kitchen was crushed.
Here’s the thing I have to remember: Nothing has been normal or predictable about 2020.
Our kids know this isn’t normal, and if there’s one thing they’ve learned this year, it’s that life is unpredictable, even going to school isn’t guaranteed!
For the duration of this project I’ve been filled with gratitude. We have a place to live while this is going on, a small AirBnB apartment with a fully equipped kitchen.
On my walk, I realized I had to practice what I preach: I had to rethink my holidays this year.
This year is different in so many ways, including our opportunity to rethink what actually makes us happy, what our priorities are, and to make adjustments to our rituals and traditions to meet those priorities. We get to decide which ones serve us and our family and which do not.
I texted our boys to let them know the change in plans, and that we would have a limited Thanksgiving menu this year: Turkey, stuffing, cranberries, green vegetable. I asked them what food was their favorite for this holiday, and promised to make it sometime over the weekend. (Partly because I simply love to cook!)
Guess what? They’re FINE with the change in plans. One of them even replied: “It’s all good, mom, as long as we can be together.”
We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving this year in a completely different way, in a small apartment filled with laughter, food, and likely some whiskey.
We might discover some new traditions and rituals to add to our future holidays, or maybe it’ll be just this one year that we celebrate differently.
I know it will be meaningful, and rather than stress about “trying to make it as normal as possible” (as if normal always equals good), I’ll simplify our Thanksgiving celebration.
I am giving up obligation this year and following my heart, giving and receiving based on the impact I want to have on the people around me, not on someone else’s should.
What will you do to make this year different in a good way? What new traditions will you create to make this meaningful and special? How will you acknowledge the love for your family if you cannot be with them during the holidays?
You can do this. I can do this. We’ve been through so much already this year, let’s make the most of this opportunity.
Here's a great article that describes the value of creating rituals when life feels uncertain and unpredictable:
“Having rituals is a reliable way to come back to something that is comforting, familiar and meaningful — no matter how out-of-control our life feels...” ~ Nick Hobson
---
About Sarah:
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will, will be released in mid-November, and for a limited time, the ebook is just $0.99!
As a special bonus for listeners, the book will include two songs recorded by my band, Spare Change, in my living room in Montana. Keep an eye out for announcements through LinkedIn and via my Elkins Consulting Facebook & Instagram pages, or visit my website to learn more.