399 Support In All Its Different Forms
When it comes to feeling comfortable, confident, and seen, it is important that we dress ourselves in a way that reflects how we want to feel. When it comes to women, a good bra that is comfortable and supportive is absolutely vital. We feel good when we have clothes that fit our body and flatter us.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and LaJean Lawson discuss not only Doctor Lawson's extensive research into the comfort and support of sports bras and how it has impacted the people in her life that needed something so vital and yet so easily overlooked.
399 Support In All Its Different Forms
When it comes to feeling comfortable, confident, and seen, it is important that we dress ourselves in a way that reflects how we want to feel. When it comes to women, a good bra that is comfortable and supportive is absolutely vital. We feel good when we have clothes that fit our body and flatter us.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and LaJean Lawson discuss not only Doctor Lawson's extensive research into the comfort and support of sports bras and how it has impacted the people in her life that needed something so vital and yet so easily overlooked.
Highlights
When we have access to things that make us comfortable it will make us feel more confident.
Are you pushing the right buttons in your life? How do you know you are on the right path?
How have you felt like your voice was heard?
Here’s the link to the Runner’s World article.
Read about the disparity in research funding for female vs. male athletes here.
A book recommendation to gain perspective about life as a large-sized woman of color: Skin & Bones by Renée Watson
Quotes
“I so love and respect the trades, and I try to do a project every year, especially in really hot or really cold weather because what that does is it raises my awareness and appreciation for the people in our lives that do these things all around the calendar.”
“I realized how much courage it took and what an honor it was, and a privilege, for me to be included in her experience.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What gear can you ensure that they have to be successful? Yes a sports bra, exactly the right sports bra to encourage a woman, that is a good start. I think a lot about something my husband says often, which is; “If you’re going to start playing guitar, don’t go buy a cheap one. Because it won’t sound good, and you’ll give up.”
The same thing goes for anything you want to do, make sure you have the gear that will set you up for success. Whether that means a great sports bra or a close friend, whether that means the right hiking boots or a passport. You have to have the right gear before you can step out of your comfort zone and do exactly what you were meant to do.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About LaJean
When it comes to the science of sports bras, Dr. LaJean Lawson easily qualifies as THE global expert! But digging deeply into why and how breasts move, and investigating how to design great sports bras that really work isn’t just an end in itself. Her achievements in this intriguing research area also support her passion to help all women get the gear they need to stop worrying about breasts and bounce, and simply enjoy the fabulous benefits of an active lifestyle, indoors and out.
Dr. LaJean’s longstanding research credentials include more than 35 years of scientific sports bra investigations for Champion Athleticwear and founder/director of the Bra Lab, a biomechanics and consumer testing lab devoted 100% to sports bra science and consumer insight research, with the focused goal of building better sports bras. She is further distinguished as arguably the only person on the planet with two graduate degrees in sports bra science. Her 1985 thesis for her M.S. degree in Clothing and Textiles from Utah State University, a seminal study in sports bra science, investigated the biomechanical support of a variety of sports bras, while her dissertation for her Ph.D. in Exercise & Sport Science from Oregon State University took the first serious scientific look at the effect on performance of protective sports bras for contact sports. Her sports bra and wearable medical device innovations have been awarded multiple patents.
Dr. LaJean is also a sought-after speaker/host for media and marketing events, including co-hosting one of the most commercially successful fitness equipment infomercials in broadcasting history with Jane Fonda. She is a repeat sports bra expert on Another Mother Runner’s popular podcast. She has been a featured speaker at major sports bra launch events at Rockefeller Center in New York, Run Disney special events in Orlando and Susan G. Komen races. In 2018, LaJean was a keynote speaker at the Utah Outdoor Recreation Summit, challenging and inspiring attendees with another topic she could not be more passionate about—size inclusivity in athletic and outdoor gear/participation.
Be sure to check out LaJean’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram! As well as her website Dr Sports Bra!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
Episode 133: Choosing Yourself is a Vast Improvement to Settling for Less
Adolescent years are hard on anyone, to add challenges like moving to a new town and school, particularly as someone who naturally stands out, and you have serious potential for confidence busting.
Karyn Beach Loves the Skin She's In
Adolescent years are hard on anyone, to add challenges like moving to a new town and school, particularly as someone who naturally stands out, and you have serious potential for confidence busting.
Karyn is a force, and by her stories you can tell she has always been that way. But for many years, she struggled with confidence, and ended up in relationships that were just not good for her - personally and professionally.
She decided to choose herself and realized being by herself was far more pleasant and satisfying than sharing space with someone who didn't value and respect her. In fact, she loves being in her own company. And that's part of what makes it so wonderful to be there with her.
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Connect with Karyn on LinkedIn, check out her website, and be sure to catch her podcast, Fun. Feisty. Fabulous!
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"The choice of Sarah Elkins (as our conference keynote) was inspired. Her emphasis that we need to think more carefully as advocates about how we are perceived, that we need to demonstrate our values authentically (and bravely) so as to build trust, was perhaps more important than all the specific storytelling tools discussed.”
Sarah is a storyteller, communication coach, author and professional musician. Her keynotes and workshops are entertaining and engaging, because she uses storytelling as the foundation of her work. Her podcast, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will was named in the top 50 in 2019 in the category of emotional intelligence on player.FM, and her book of the same title is now available on Bookshop.org, Amazon.com, and Barnes & Noble.
Episode 90: How You Tell a Story May Limit Your Potential for Learning From It
Sharing Your Story with the Right Person Makes a Difference
My book, based on this podcast, is designed to help walk you through a similar process as my podcast guests experience, to help you identify specific points in your life that can become some of your best stories to share.
The stories you share matter. They color your memories and self-confidence, they help create your internal messages, and they impact the perception people have of you. This book will help you uncover those stories that continue to shape your internal perceptions and relationships.
The preorder campaign, similar to a Kickstarter campaign, but for books, was extended by a few days because I am so close to reaching my goal of 250 books sold! To order your copy and take advantage of the early investor bonuses included, click here:
Panting, stopping to breathe and get my heartrate back to a reasonable pace, I looked up ahead to more steep climbing up the mountain. Then I looked down at the path I had just hiked up and smiled. It was a rigorous hike and I hadn’t really planned to take such a hard trail to the summit this time.
The dog needed water, so I stopped in a shady spot just off the trail to fill his bowl and let him rehydrate. It’s nice to have the dog around as an excuse to stop and catch my breath again. With his heavy fur coat, he’s even less comfortable than I am on this nearly 80 degree day before noon. But he’s just as happy as I am to be outside on our mountain.
Taking one last look back, I started up another steep climb, knowing I wasn’t far from the summit.
As I listened to the randomly shuffled song that came through my headphones, I had to stop again to look up and down from the middle of the steep climb:
Glory glory, halleluiah,
The sun is shining, shining down
Glory glory, halleluiah,
I’m alive, and I’m feeling, feeling fine.
Hearing those words sung by JJ Grey, I started thinking about what compelled me to take this hard route to the top of the mountain. My top strengths, according to the Gallup assessment, didn’t include Achiever or Competition, two of the themes I could imagine would drive someone to do what I was doing. So what was it?
It was in that moment I realized character has little to do with any assessment results.
I use my strengths to develop my character, not the other way around.
It had been a tough morning, which is why I knew I needed to hike. Getting outside always helps me clear my head and make sense of things. The email I received was cruel and unprofessional, a response to what I considered very reasonable requests for information. Words clouded my vision as I walked up the mountain, feeling attacked, defensive, angry, and self-conscious.
Had I failed in this assignment? Was it my work that triggered this unprofessional, rude response? I felt my confidence start to slip back down the mountain behind me.
Pushing myself harder, pressing my feet solidly into the slippery, rocky trail, I ascended another steep 15 feet of the mountain.
I felt nothing but exhilaration and pride as I took a step onto the rocks at the summit. Looking down, I could imagine myself when I was partway up the mountain, panting, pushing, and clearing the frustration and anxiety out of my way.
Now that I was at the top and looking back down, the path still looked crazy hard, but the feelings of inadequacy at the mid-point were no longer with me.
It was the next day, as I was telling a friend about my inspiration on the mountain that I realized I had missed a big part of the lesson.
I told her the story with my optimistic nature showing in full force, using those words that popped into my head as I sweated and panted up the steepest part of the mountain: Persistence, resilience, grit.
“… shame, feelings of inadequacy, self-punishment…”
Damn. As she added those words, I realized she was right. I didn’t take that hard route simply because I was demonstrating resilience and grit. I was punishing myself for what I thought I had done wrong. I was pushing away the shame I felt as I remembered the words in the email. I was proving to myself that I WAS resilient, strong, and even if I failed at one thing, I would be DAMN SURE NOT TO FAIL at this.
Our conversation shifted from why we punish ourselves to why it mattered. After all, punishing myself by climbing up a mountain had to be one of the healthiest and constructive ways to do that, right?
Well, yes. Knowing WHY I was pushing myself so hard matters. If I’m working away these feelings, these frustrations, giving those feelings a name will help me address them, specifically, rather than blowing off arbitrary steam.
When we know the why behind our actions, we can be more intentional about not only processing our feelings behind those actions, we open our minds to learn the necessary lessons the experience can teach us.
I shared the story of my hike with my friend so I could talk through thoughts I knew could contribute to life lessons, to apply my thoughts to actual improvement in future similar situations. When we tell a story like this to a friend, we create arbitrary constraints around the experience, we create a box for the story to fit into based on prior experience. That means we look for what we want to see, set limits for understanding the context of our stories, and miss all kinds of potential for lessons and growth. But when we share the story with the right friend, they might just ask the questions we need to ask ourselves – the harder questions – and that conversation is likely to remove some of those constraints.
In the book The Art of Possibility, a gift I received from my friend Jeff Ikler, the very first chapter is about exactly that: Based on past experience, we make assumptions that create a box, or constraints, for ourselves. I made assumptions based on my optimistic nature, assumptions about the reason behind the negative email I had received, assumptions about the lessons I was meant to learn from the experience. Not all of those assumptions are bad things, necessarily, but without some opportunity to question them and work through the stories I was telling myself, I may have limited my potential for personal growth.
Who do you have in your life that helps you work through this kind of internal message? Which of your friends or acquaintances can you count on to help you ask yourself the tough questions, and get the most out of an experience? If you can’t think of anyone right away, be intentional about building relationships with the people who can help you process your thoughts and experiences. People you can trust, be vulnerable with, and who will add positive support and encouragement. Self-reflection is a great start, but if you’re not expanding that reflection by sharing it with people you trust, you’re limiting your opportunities to apply that self-reflection, deepen it, and improve your communication and relationships as a result.
Episode 87: Share Stories and OWN Your Talents
Al Swanson has always been an outdoorsy guy, so much that his first plan out of high school was to study turf management. Yes, turf management. His interest began with a manager who was on the cutting edge of sustainable, ecologically healthy golf course management. That manager was way ahead of his time, and Al knew it.
Don’t tell people what you’re good at. Demonstrate it with a story!
Al Swanson in his studio in Helena, Montana
Al Swanson has always been an outdoorsy guy, so much that his first plan out of high school was to study turf management. Yes, turf management. His interest began with a manager who was on the cutting edge of sustainable, ecologically healthy golf course management. That manager was way ahead of his time, and Al knew it. That experience is part of what inspired him to continue his work as a sustainable craftsman.
A back injury prevented him from taking his degree to work, so to speak, and after a few learning opportunities, he came back to his roots (so to speak), in woodworking with sustainably harvested trees.
Al Swanson’s Shop, Helena, Montana
Delicious beer from Lewis & Clark Brewing Company
We spoke at his shop in Helena, Montana, while sipping some local beers with the extraordinary scent of cedar and pine all around us.
There are two reasons I asked Al to be a guest on the podcast. One was that during our last conversation, he told me a story about running into some people at a brewery in Phillipsburg, Montana, and having a moment of celebrity status - and owning it. I was intrigued with his idea about being comfortable with that feeling and choosing to be exactly what your admirers expect you to be. It’s not about being a know-it-all, or any kind of superiority. It’s about owning what you’re awesome at, knowing you’re still growing and learning, and acknowledging and appreciating it when people recognize your magic.
Al is well known for his fly fishing accessories, but he developed his reputation for fine art and craftsmanship in his furniture business. That’s how I met him; I coveted an absolutely stunning piece he had donated to an auction for our Prickly Pear Land Trust annual event, the Harvest Moon Banquet.
Fly boxes custom made for Patagonia
The other reason I asked Al to chat with me was that his work is truly extraordinary, and I wanted to learn more about his motivation behind what he does. We share the theory that when we provide a service or product, it’s the details that make your work unique. Similar to my conversation with Rocky Connell, the artisan bread maker at Park Avenue Bakery, we spoke about the energy we put into everything we do.
In Al’s case, a huge part of receiving a piece built by him is how he packages the gift. It’s all about the experience, not just the beautiful artistry in the piece itself. Al includes cedar, hand shaved into fragrant, curly, fine strips in the box. When that box is opened, the receiver is instantly transported to the shop where the piece was made, with a sense of belonging and longing for the forest where the wood was harvested.
One of the great stories he shared was about how he was inspired to create fly fishing accessories, many are available thanks to his relationship with Orvis. Because of Al’s generous spirit, he fixed a broken landing net (used to carefully scoop up a fish after catching it) that was meaningful to a young man who happened to walk into the A.L. Swanson gallery in downtown Helena. That young man was about to join the leadership team at Orvis.
Share Your Story on Your Terms
How Do You Tell Your Story Without Being Defined By It?
It’s not uncommon for people who have disabilities, or dealt with tragedies and other life-altering experiences to want to move forward and just “be normal.” Children who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling are often heard expressing this feeling of not wanting to be known as “the kid who lost his mom.” Many times in life, we see our weirdness through the eyes of the people around us, not really knowing that most everyone feels weird or different, or somehow not “normal” at some point in their lives.
Brian Schulman was sure he was weird, sure he didn’t fit in as he was growing up, partly because he had been born premature and had related health issues, and partly because he was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome in his pre-teen years. He definitely stood out with his tics and quirky physical movements, and being bullied didn’t help at all with his internal messages of being different.
The beauty, though, of each of us having those negative experiences is that they help us make a choice between adding to the sadness and aggressiveness in the world around you, or making a positive difference so those around you never feel like you did. That’s how Brian chose to live his life. He intentionally became a person others wanted to be around, he made sure the people around him felt good about themselves, felt like they could BE themselves.
Learn more about Brian, and connect with him on LinkedIn and Facebook!
Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?
Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon
Taking Yourself Too Seriously? Remember Your Mistakes Fondly.
Choose a Cue to Keep it Real
It was my first day of my first real job out of college. My paid internship in Washington DC had ended and I spent the summer playing with my sister and roommate, waiting tables and hosting at a couple of restaurants.
When my sister moved back home to Colorado, my roommate convinced me to join a temp agency. Shortly after my first placement, the company offered me a job. My appointment with Lori in the HR department was scheduled at 8am on a Monday morning.
It was December, and it was still dark when I woke up, eager to go to my meeting, fill out paperwork, and start my job with the Meetings Department at the American Chemical Society. I dressed in the dark and popped my head into my roommate's bathroom to say goodbye, she said "good luck, Sarah!"
It was still dim outside as I made my way from the apartment to Union Station to catch the train. I sat for the few stops to the Farragut North station and held my little briefcase, a graduation gift from my dad, on the tops of my feet. In my eagerness and anxiety, the long escalator ride to the surface seemed even longer than usual. As I stepped off the escalator, out from under the awning and onto the sidewalk, I glanced down at my feet.
Oh dear.
I looked back up and took a few more steps. I thought, "Oh no, I wouldn't have done that."
Looking back down at my feet confirmed my initial observation: I was wearing two different colored shoes. One was black, the other was navy. They were identical pumps -- except for the color, which, now in full sunlight, was obvious.
Walking into the first office building on my left, I marched with confidence toward the tall counter as the man at the desk behind the counter looked up.
May I please use your phone?
No ma'am. This is not a public phone.
Please? It's kind of an emergency. I'm going to be late for my first day of a new job and I need to call and let them know! Please? (Insert brightest, sweetest, Colorado-hick-in-the-big-city smile I can muster.)
Oh, ok, I guess.
Good morning, Lori. I'm on my way over now, only a few blocks away, but I have to run home so I'm going to be late. Why? Well... I just noticed... I'm wearing two different colored shoes. ... No, I know I can't come to work like that. ... Yes, just about 30 minutes. ... Yes, I'll be there. Thank you.
I hung up the phone and the man at the counter stood to pull the phone back down to the desk so he could peer down at my feet and grin.
Smiling back and thanking him, I ran back to the Metro station. I found myself grinning, feeling very silly, and trying to cover my shoes with my briefcase when I sat down on the train. I managed to get home, change a shoe, drive back to the office, pay an outrageous price to park the car near the building, and get to the HR office in 30 minutes.
When I told my roommate the story over dinner, we couldn't stop laughing. Our stomachs were sore from the deep belly laughs that night. She reminded me of a few other little details I managed to mess up over the previous few months and came up with a term for those, "Sarah-isms."
Those small details add up in similar ways to what I described in an earlier post about finding multiple Band-Aids on my hands. The difference here is that these little details are silly, not dangerous. Stories like these are great reminders that we are human, we are fallible, and that while it's important to take our jobs and responsibilities seriously, we should never -- ever -- take ourselves too seriously. After all, we are all human, no matter how high the pedestal on which we may stand or be placed.
Just a few years after the two-different-shoes incident, I was in Vancouver, Canada, for work. My colleagues and I took an afternoon to rent a car and drive up to Whistler to explore. It's a beautiful ski resort not far from the city; it reminded me a lot of Vail, Colorado. We were there in the spring and the hills were covered in beautiful green grass and wild flowers. A small boutique store back then, Joe Boxer happened to be open that day. Joe Boxer was the brand that got big and famous, thanks to Forrest Gump and his yellow smiley face. At the time, it was a higher-end brand (now you can find it at KMart) and all the rage. I picked out a watch with a brown leather band and smiley faces in place of the numbers on the face. For my husband, I picked a fancy silver one with the smiley face imprinted in the face of the watch. You could only tell when you looked closely at it.
Wearing that watch as a DC professional, as a consultant implementing a major software program in agencies like the Federal Reserve, World Bank, and NSA, kept me grounded. When I found I was taking myself too seriously, all I had to do was look down at my watch. A smile would begin from my wrist and work its way up to my face, guaranteed. DC has far too many people who take themselves far too seriously. They didn't need one more.
Nervous? If you're not, you're not doing it right.
I was more nervous than I think I have ever been. My legs were shaking so hard, I thought they might actually collapse beneath me.
Being nervous means what you're doing matters to you.
This post was inspired by a post by my friend Zach Messler, called "Overcome your fear of public speaking. Here's what I do." If you aren't a bit nervous about a speech or performance, you're probably not engaged or excited about what you're about to do.
It was 9:45 am and the ceremony was scheduled to begin at 10. I knew they would be running late because they were bringing in WWII veterans, most of them disabled, all of them 88+ years old, plus their families from all over the US and Canada. The First Special Service Force, sometimes referred to as the Devil's Brigade, had received the Congressional Medal of Honor, finally, earlier that year. The metal was being presented to Fort Harrison for display, as the home of the First Special Service Force in the beginning of WWII.
As the public affairs person for the city, I had been involved from the beginning of the plan for the weekend of activities, to include this ceremony at Fort Harrison on Friday morning, as well as a re-enactment of the parade on Saturday, of soldiers that marched down our main street just before they left Montana to head to Europe. When asked if I would sing the US and Canadian Nation Anthems for the parade, I was honored and accepted. My friend agreed to come to Helena to sing with me, so we could perform the songs in harmony.
I assumed they had found someone to perform the two anthems for the ceremony the day before the parade, so when I arrived that morning, I was surprised to hear they were planning to... use a recording.
It seemed insulting to me, so I impulsively offered to sing both anthems. Solo. Unaccompanied.
When I began the Star Spangled Banner, standing at the podium in front of more than 200 guests and a handful of WWII heroes, I was more nervous than I think I have ever been. My legs were shaking so hard, I thought they might actually collapse beneath me. I gripped the side of the podium with my left hand, hit the high note at the end, paused, and sang the Canadian National Anthem for the first time in my life. When I left the stage after the ceremony, a Canadian woman asked me: "Are you sure you're not Canadian?"
I've often been asked:
How do you get over the nerves during a performance?
- Change your internal message: "I'm so excited about this!" Instead of "I'm so nervous!"
- Breathe with intention. In other words, don't start speaking or singing until you have taken a few deep breaths to calm yourself. When you feel yourself getting shaky again, pause. When you're planning your presentation - mark your script at places where a pause would be natural.
- Insist on a microphone stand or a lapel mic. Holding a microphone will exacerbate your nerves, trust me. If you must hold a microphone, start by holding it with both hands. If you know ahead of time you'll be holding the mic, wear something heavy on your mic-holding wrist, like a large watch or bracelet. The weight will help with the shaking.
- Breathe into your diaphragm, relax your knees slightly, and tighten the muscles in your lower abdomen. Feel your knees wobbling and your heart racing? Don't try to stop the shaking, that just makes it worse. Make sure your feet are planted, your knees just slightly bent, and squeeze those muscles in your rear end - hard. This provides structure and a more solid foundation for your voice. That squeeze will help make the vibrato in your voice less noticeable.
- As part of your preparation, choose your shoes first, then build your outfit. Make sure you select shoes that make you feel confident and attractive. When you feel yourself start to shake, glance at your feet, solid in position, then look back up and continue. Again, plan your pauses so you have opportunities to collect yourself.
Zach Messler is a master of keeping an audience engaged, and he makes it look so easy! Give yourself credit for putting yourself out there - it's scary, and it's not something everyone has the courage to do. Practice these techniques while practicing Zach's and you'll improve every time you speak.
*cover photo courtesy of @elizawileyphotographer, parade photo courtesy of the Helena Independent Record