We are always communicating in everything we do, from overtly talking to or texting someone, to smiling and nodding to strangers you pass on the street, it’s human nature to want to be seen and heard and to give that to others.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Jim Collison discuss the importance of communication and how understanding your strengths leads to better communication not just with others but with yourself.
It’s normal to need help, we aren’t born knowing everything especially when it comes to ourselves. We are constantly changing and evolving, so turning to someone who specializes in one field to help you understand yourself better should be welcomed and sought out when we need guidance.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Annette Taylor discuss strengths and weaknesses as well as how best to maximize one's ability in any field they occupy as well as how to use even weaknesses to the advantage.
Have you ever had a job working for a difficult or mean boss? Or maybe you are a boss that struggles to connect with your employees? Thomas Jackson’s most memorable bosses are the ones who listened to his ideas and either implemented them or let them know why not.
Listen to Sarah Elkins and Thomas Jackson, as they discuss the difference between an encouraging leader and a negative one. In this episode, Sarah and Thomas dive into this topic and share the memorable moments, whether good or bad, from their work experiences and the long-term effects on workers. They also talk about the No Longer Virtual event, and how you can build your professional network face-to-face.
Join in to see how your work environment can change based on the attitudes of the people around you.
“The difference between a nice person showing up in different ways, versus a mean person showing up the same way.”
*podcast show notes contributed by Tracy Ackeret
About Thomas:
Thomas Jackson is a UPS Driver Helper and Belt Splitter.
He enjoys writing articles for his LinkedIn profile and has over 2,000+ articles on the platform.
Visit Thomas’ LinkedIn profile and don’t hesitate to dive into his collection of articles.
ABOUT SARAH:
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
As a Communication & Inclusion Trainer, Alissa guides people in addressing awkward situations, helping them quickly adjust to things out of their control.
In a recent training, when she had to demonstrate that kind of adaptability because of technical glitches, she realized what a gift it ended up becoming for her and for the participants.
Joy Gabriel was an awkward kid. She struggled to understand social context and constructs, and had a hard time building relationships with other kids. Her time with adults was usually okay, and as an only child, she benefited from the focus of her parents on her development, academically and in relationships.
My book, based on this podcast, is designed to help walk you through a similar process as my podcast guests experience, to help you identify specific points in your life that can become some of your best stories to share.
The stories you share matter. They color your memories and self-confidence, they help create your internal messages, and they impact the perception people have of you. This book will help you uncover those stories that continue to shape your internal perceptions and relationships.
The preorder campaign, similar to a Kickstarter campaign, but for books, was extended by a few days because I am so close to reaching my goal of 250 books sold! To order your copy and take advantage of the early investor bonuses included, click here:
Panting, stopping to breathe and get my heartrate back to a reasonable pace, I looked up ahead to more steep climbing up the mountain. Then I looked down at the path I had just hiked up and smiled. It was a rigorous hike and I hadn’t really planned to take such a hard trail to the summit this time.
The dog needed water, so I stopped in a shady spot just off the trail to fill his bowl and let him rehydrate. It’s nice to have the dog around as an excuse to stop and catch my breath again. With his heavy fur coat, he’s even less comfortable than I am on this nearly 80 degree day before noon. But he’s just as happy as I am to be outside on our mountain.
Taking one last look back, I started up another steep climb, knowing I wasn’t far from the summit.
As I listened to the randomly shuffled song that came through my headphones, I had to stop again to look up and down from the middle of the steep climb:
Glory glory, halleluiah,
The sun is shining, shining down
Glory glory, halleluiah,
I’m alive, and I’m feeling, feeling fine.
Hearing those words sung by JJ Grey, I started thinking about what compelled me to take this hard route to the top of the mountain. My top strengths, according to the Gallup assessment, didn’t include Achiever or Competition, two of the themes I could imagine would drive someone to do what I was doing. So what was it?
It was in that moment I realized character has little to do with any assessment results.
I use my strengths to develop my character, not the other way around.
It had been a tough morning, which is why I knew I needed to hike. Getting outside always helps me clear my head and make sense of things. The email I received was cruel and unprofessional, a response to what I considered very reasonable requests for information. Words clouded my vision as I walked up the mountain, feeling attacked, defensive, angry, and self-conscious.
Had I failed in this assignment? Was it my work that triggered this unprofessional, rude response? I felt my confidence start to slip back down the mountain behind me.
Pushing myself harder, pressing my feet solidly into the slippery, rocky trail, I ascended another steep 15 feet of the mountain.
I felt nothing but exhilaration and pride as I took a step onto the rocks at the summit. Looking down, I could imagine myself when I was partway up the mountain, panting, pushing, and clearing the frustration and anxiety out of my way.
Now that I was at the top and looking back down, the path still looked crazy hard, but the feelings of inadequacy at the mid-point were no longer with me.
It was the next day, as I was telling a friend about my inspiration on the mountain that I realized I had missed a big part of the lesson.
I told her the story with my optimistic nature showing in full force, using those words that popped into my head as I sweated and panted up the steepest part of the mountain: Persistence, resilience, grit.
“… shame, feelings of inadequacy, self-punishment…”
Damn. As she added those words, I realized she was right. I didn’t take that hard route simply because I was demonstrating resilience and grit. I was punishing myself for what I thought I had done wrong. I was pushing away the shame I felt as I remembered the words in the email. I was proving to myself that I WAS resilient, strong, and even if I failed at one thing, I would be DAMN SURE NOT TO FAIL at this.
Our conversation shifted from why we punish ourselves to why it mattered. After all, punishing myself by climbing up a mountain had to be one of the healthiest and constructive ways to do that, right?
Well, yes. Knowing WHY I was pushing myself so hard matters. If I’m working away these feelings, these frustrations, giving those feelings a name will help me address them, specifically, rather than blowing off arbitrary steam.
When we know the why behind our actions, we can be more intentional about not only processing our feelings behind those actions, we open our minds to learn the necessary lessons the experience can teach us.
I shared the story of my hike with my friend so I could talk through thoughts I knew could contribute to life lessons, to apply my thoughts to actual improvement in future similar situations. When we tell a story like this to a friend, we create arbitrary constraints around the experience, we create a box for the story to fit into based on prior experience. That means we look for what we want to see, set limits for understanding the context of our stories, and miss all kinds of potential for lessons and growth. But when we share the story with the right friend, they might just ask the questions we need to ask ourselves – the harder questions – and that conversation is likely to remove some of those constraints.
In the book The Art of Possibility, a gift I received from my friend Jeff Ikler, the very first chapter is about exactly that: Based on past experience, we make assumptions that create a box, or constraints, for ourselves. I made assumptions based on my optimistic nature, assumptions about the reason behind the negative email I had received, assumptions about the lessons I was meant to learn from the experience. Not all of those assumptions are bad things, necessarily, but without some opportunity to question them and work through the stories I was telling myself, I may have limited my potential for personal growth.
Who do you have in your life that helps you work through this kind of internal message? Which of your friends or acquaintances can you count on to help you ask yourself the tough questions, and get the most out of an experience? If you can’t think of anyone right away, be intentional about building relationships with the people who can help you process your thoughts and experiences. People you can trust, be vulnerable with, and who will add positive support and encouragement. Self-reflection is a great start, but if you’re not expanding that reflection by sharing it with people you trust, you’re limiting your opportunities to apply that self-reflection, deepen it, and improve your communication and relationships as a result.
