It seems ridiculous now, imagining parents of a 17 year old agreeing to send her on a road trip across the country with her 18 year old sister to perform their music at small venues, mostly on college campuses.
But that's exactly what Terre & Maggie Roche's parents did. Terre's father even met with the principal of her high school where she was supposed to be for her senior year and negotiated her school work and exams to be completed in between their 6-week touring dates.
In this week’s episode I’ll round out a description of my top five talents with Ideation and Adaptability. Ideation being the one that I imagine as a hamster on a wheel in my head, constantly running, coming up with ideas about what I’ll do next, ideas to solve problems, sometimes completely random ideas about why things happen the way they do, how things work (usually unrelated to anything that actually matters in my life), and how to express concepts so they’re sticky and/or persuasive.
Adaptability is the talent that allows me to switch gears easily, and that makes me a good person to be around when a project goes sideways.
She called me Speedy Gonzalez. My first coach after becoming a Gallup certified StrengthsFinder coach had a gorgeous Barcelonan accent, and she said: “Sarah, you’re like Speedy Gonzalez. Imagine you notice the village is running low on cheese, so you take money from the village coffer, run fast, as you do, to a nearby village, buy cheese, and run back. Problem solved! Except that when you return, you hear the villagers having a discussion about what kind of cheese to get this time… or maybe they won’t get cheese, maybe it’ll be salami instead… But you’ve already solved the problem, right?”
I’m such a visual person, I immediately imagined the tiny mouse running, like a blur, to the next village and running back carrying a huge block of cheese over his head.
And just like that (snap), I had a deep insight into how I sometimes get in my own way.
My mother and her twin sister said: “Sarah, you’re so bossy.” Our large family had a reservation at a restaurant and I was being insistent that people stop yammering and get into cars, directing people and touching them on the arm to gesture toward a vehicle.
I was insulted and defensive. It was my intention to get the family to the restaurant on time for our reservation out of respect to the venue, which seemed reasonable to me. I felt like I had been gentle in terms of nudging my aunts, uncles, and cousins to get moving. That’s not how my mom and aunt saw it.
That wasn’t the first time I was called bossy or pushy, and it wouldn’t be the last.
Our conversation easily flowed from topic to topic, and it was clear to both of us that the themes from the book are highly relevant in many of our friends' lives, as well as our own.
Each of the protagonists is in a very different place in their lives, one in her early 30s, another in her mid 40s, and another in her late 60s. And yet, each is grappling with transition and transformation in their lives, which is what brings them together.
"I'm allergic to that."
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When she arrived in Spain, a shy, incredibly picky eater and study abroad student, that's what Rachel would tell people to avoid having to try new foods. It didn't take long for her to choose to be polite and try the foods, and that simple act of kindness and curiosity became the key to unlocking her adventurous spirit and become, as she says, unmuted.
Rachel's Spanish teacher had suggested that she apply to study abroad saying: "You really have an affinity for this, have you considered studying abroad?" Her immediate response was no, she wasn't interested in leaving her small liberal arts college for a semester. But the adults in her life encouraged her, saying that she would regret not going, and sharing their own regrets for turning down a similar opportunity.
She remembered arriving at the airport in Madrid, which appeared to be in total chaos, especially for a sheltered young woman.
It was her study abroad experience that awakened Rachel to her sense of adventure, which only increased with more experiences outside of her comfort zone, and isn't that always our path toward personal growth?
Podcast cover art with quote and image of Rachel Druckenmiller
A highlight of our conversation was when we talked about our human tendency to underestimate people and things that we make a snap judgment about. We began our conversation on that topic when she told the story of her experience with an eggplant dish presented to her by her host family in Spain. It's not a stretch to apply that lesson to people we meet.
Both of us had stories about our spouses related to this idea:
"If I had never opened the door to the possibility that he could be different than my first impressions of him on the surface, would I have even allowed for that possibility to happen?"
"When we're willing to stay curious and open, things we're not even aware of are possible on the other side of that."
In our conversation I mentioned my friend Shelley Brown's recently published book, Weird Girl Adventures, in the context of allowing our sense of what's weird about us to be a larger part of our best relationships.
When you've listened to the episode, I'm sure you'll want to connect with Rachel on LinkedIn, and be sure to dig into her website to learn more about what she does, and how magically she does it. And check out the song Rachel sang a line from at the end of our call, This is Me from The Greatest Showman.
If you're also curious about the lyrics I shared, here's Mary Mary with Can't Give Up Now.
ABOUT SARAH:
Elkins Consulting logo, image of Sarah Elkins, book cover
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
Audiobook cover art
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
