380 Breaking Cycles
We are hardwired to remember the stories that are far more painful and life altering, than the happier stories we lived. Perhaps it is our survival instincts or it is just easier to remember the bad, regardless it is important to sit back and truly think about how we frame our narratives using these experiences and decide for ourselves that this story is one we want to change.
In todays episode, Sarah Elkins and Erin Weninger discuss the cycles both of them have lived as women, business owners, and parents, and the difficulty that came with acknowledging and changing the destructive patterns in our lives
380 Breaking Cycles
We are hardwired to remember the stories that are far more painful and life altering, than the happier stories we lived. Perhaps it is our survival instincts or it is just easier to remember the bad, regardless it is important to sit back and truly think about how we frame our narratives using these experiences and decide for ourselves that this story is one we want to change.
In todays episode, Sarah Elkins and Erin Weninger discuss the cycles both of them have lived as women, business owners, and parents, and the difficulty that came with acknowledging and changing the destructive patterns in our lives
Highlights
You can do what is best for you, you only need to find the courage to reach out.
Everyone’s narrative is different, but you need to know personally when that narrative is false and harmful to you.
What lengths will you go to in order to defend your narrative? Is it really a narrative worth defending?
Be adult enough to acknowledge when you fail, apologize, work towards being better, and take accountability. It’s not the end of the world to admit when you are in the wrong.
Quotes
“I really needed that second falling out with my mom to have that feeling of; “Wow she really will go to extreme extents for self preservation at the expense of anybody else she might care about and love.”.”
“It doesn’t have to be an atom bomb to me just because I accept fault.”
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
You’ve already been asked a few questions. Think about how you’re modeling the behavior you want to see in the people around you. If you’re a parent, what are your relationship issues with your parents that may be contributing to relationship challenges with your children? Are you taking time to look at those patterns and maybe be honest with your kids about what you’re experiencing as a parent. And last but not least, I would love to hear your thoughts on Erin’s story, and how and why she should share it. If you believe that her words can be inspiring to others, I would love to hear from you.
And, as always, thank you for listening.
About Erin
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!
247: Our Biggest Obstacle Is Sometimes Ourselves
Many times in life we do everything within our power to achieve our goal, whether that be a new job, to bring pride to others or ourselves, and to finally get over that hurdle our mental health has been lately. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come when you see how far you still have left to go, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate your accomplishments now.
Our Biggest Obstacle Is Sometimes Ourselves, Featuring Megan Miller of Aprovechar Language Solutions
Many times in life we do everything within our power to achieve our goal, whether that be a new job, to bring pride to others or ourselves, and to finally get over that hurdle our mental health has been lately. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come when you see how far you still have left to go, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate your accomplishments now.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and her good friend Megan Miller discuss the importance of allowing yourself to change and to celebrate every victory, no matter how small, because those victories are proof of your success.
Highlights
Sharing personal, vulnerable stories without any intention doesn’t help you.
Sometimes you don’t notice how much things change until you step back or get an outside perspective.
Celebrate the wins.
You get out what you put in.
Quotes
It’s soul, it’s about how you do it and why you do it.
The advice we give a lot of the time is advice we need to hear at that point in time.
Mentioned in this Podcast
About Megan
Megan Miller is the CEO of Aprovechar Language Solutions, LLC, a company which acts as a bridge between English and Spanish language learners. Her personalized and small group programs take a habit-based approach, and whether it’s in class or a Book Club – you know you’ll have fun!
She also helps IT companies in Latin America and Europe tell their stories for a U.S.-based audience through translation and localization projects. Megan has a Bachelor’s in Spanish Language, Literature, and Culture and is a certified to Teach English as a Foreign Language.
Check out her Instagram and LinkedIn! As well as her website, Approvechar Language Solutions!
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Show notes by Chinook Bromlie
245: Our Authenticity Depends on Our Values, Not Our Comfort Zones
Throughout our lives we learn many lessons about ourselves and others, how we move on and grow from these lessons is how we become better versions of ourselves even if at the time it seems painful. By sharing what we’ve learned and our interests in a constructive and compassionate way, without sounding condescending or judgmental we can achieve our best selves.
Our Authenticity Depends on Our Values, Not Our Comfort Zones
Throughout our lives we learn many lessons about ourselves and others, how we move on and grow from these lessons is how we become better versions of ourselves even if at the time it seems painful. By sharing what we’ve learned and our interests in a constructive and compassionate way, without sounding condescending or judgmental we can achieve our best selves.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Ben Albert talk about the importance of life lessons and sharing our interests with others in a way that doesn’t sound conceited, as well as balancing our work and life in a healthy way, and through doing so learn how to reflect on ourselves in order to benefit others and ourselves by being empathetic and vulnerable.
Highlights
Being conscious of how you speak and rewording things that can seem negative.
Being proud of being your whole self
There is continuity in steps that feel disconnected
Work and life are parts of the same thing, alignment of the two is essential for a healthy life
Quotes
“To me it doesn’t matter who gets the trophy, so long as the solution is found.” - Ben Albert
“ ‘Should’ doesn’t demonstrate care, it demonstrates judgment.” Sarah Elkins
About Ben Albert
Ben is the owner of Balbert Marketing LLC. He is also the curator of The “Real Business Connections Network,” where he hosts 5 podcasts, “Rochester Business Connections,” “Learn Speak Teach,” “Ben’s Bites,” “Five Minute Fridays,” and “Real Hits.” Once an underdog, now a successful entrepreneur, Ben is passionate about helping other underdogs achieve their dreams.
When Covid hit, Ben was furloughed from work. He found himself down and out, staring at an empty handle of Jim Beam whiskey. He was unemployed, depressed, and felt unworthy.
Hesitantly, he opened his Macbook and started reaching out to strangers on Linkedin. This spearheaded his entrepreneurial journey.
The rest is history.
Now Ben hosts a network of 5 podcasts called “Real Business Connections,” runs a massively successful marketing firm, Balbert Marketing, and has replaced his established sales income in just over a year. Ben found his way.
Once an underdog, now a successful entrepreneur, Ben is passionate about helping other underdogs find their way and achieve their dreams.
Ben is on a mission to move the needle on one million careers, one conversation at a time.
You can contact Ben via his Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and at Balbert Marketing! Or schedule a consultation with him Here! You can also listen to his podcast Real Business Connections on Apple or Spotify!
About Sarah Elkins
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.
The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!
Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.
Episode 64: Like Change, Uncertainty Is a Constant Undercurrent in Life
Stories of Risk and Addressing Uncertainty
Marylene Delbourg-Delphis doesn’t see risk the same way most people might define it. To her, it’s all about how prepared you are for whatever step you intend to take, the people you’ve surrounded yourself with and trust to take that step with you, and your ability to address uncertainty at any given moment.
Uncertainty is, like change, a constant undercurrent of life. There’s nothing certain in life, and there definitely isn’t anything certain in business. So how do we find ways to cope with an ever-uncertain world?
As a founding CEO and a turn-around CEO, Marylene has learned to quickly identify the resources she will need to address uncertainty and to make decisions effectively. She also has learned to trust that people truly want to learn, they have the capacity to learn, and they want to do a good job.
We covered a lot of ground in our conversation about how she sees risk, and how she addresses learning and innovation in her employees. One strategy Marylene uses in her presentations is to include music, particularly classical symphonies and opera. Here are a few links we agreed to share for you - our listeners - to get a better understanding of the impact:
Hector Berlioz - Symphonie Fantastique
Why listen to what Marylene has to say about building a strong, engaged, trusting workplace? For one thing, she has had great success in this area. For another, she is the one who, when she started her first US tech firm, poached Guy Kawasaki from Apple, and wrote the French forward for his recent book!
The operatic piece she mentioned, featuring Maria Callas:
And the book The Republic, by the philosopher Plato.
Learn more about Marylene by checking out her book, Everybody Wants to Love Their Job, and by connecting with her on LinkedIn.
Are you enjoying listening to episodes of this podcast? Are you wondering how you can help me sustain this project, to support and encourage the sharing of important stories?
Here are a few ideas!
1) Leave a rating and comment on your favorite podcast service like iTunes or Stitcher
2) Share a link to the show and tell people why you like it
3) Become a sponsor (for as little as $2/month) by going to Patreon
Will You Disrupt Yourself? Or Will You Be Disrupted?
Disruption: Our Subconscious Mind Knows When We Need One
Photo credit: Pete Longworth
Whitney Johnson knew she found something really useful in the book she was reading, The Innovator’s Dilemma, but she had no idea that it would change her perspective about her career and life trajectory.
She was in the middle of a major project, doing research on disruption in the telecom industry when she realized that the description of disruption as a business concept could easily be applied to personal growth and career.
That seed turned into a full sized tree over the next few years as she started to consider all the other traditionally labeled business concepts that could be applied to career and personal growth. The beauty of those concepts is that they could help not only explain where we are in terms of learning and development in a job, they could help people create a visual representation to help people apply those concepts to ultimately improve their productivity and engagement at work.
In our conversation, I discovered two things about Whitney that surprised me: She didn’t cook until recently, choosing to avoid the connection between “women’s work” and her professional image, and she is a musician. She is a classically trained pianist, but had given up piano after completing her music degree. Even more interesting to me than learning those things was learning that she had taken both up in the recent past, learning to cook (and enjoy it), and coming back to the piano through the discovery of a love and connection to Gospel music.
I had to mention my love for Gospel and Spiritual music, of course. I’m not a Christian, but I get chills up my spine when I hear people perform this music with passion and a depth of spirituality.
Our conversation took some wonderful twists and turns, from our relationships with our mothers and children, to career challenges related to boredom and a lack of dopamine boosts from learning something new.
One of my favorite parts of this conversation was an “ah ha” moment related to the challenges of parenting adult children, and trying to avoid letting our “advice monster” out in conversations with them.
To me, the most important concept in our conversation was that our brains crave learning new things. When we aren’t exploring something new, whatever that may mean, we are likely to find unproductive activities to satisfy that craving. Have you found yourself in a job that isn’t satisfying, and suddenly either you’ve been let go, or you notice more drama going on in your personal life? Whitney and I shared a theory that when we aren’t actively learning and satisfying our brain’s craving, we often sabotage ourselves in different areas of our lives.
In her book, Disrupt Yourself, Whitney spends time exploring the S-curve (typically used to describe a business’s growth) as a visual representation of skill-building or the learning curve of a new job or career. When we reach the top of the S, we hit a plateau and either stay there for a while, or we jump onto a different S, usually having to start at the bottom again.
Because of our human need to learn new things, when we sit on top of that S-curve too long, we tend to get bored. In my case, that’s when I sabotage relationships and jobs. In Whitney’s case, that’s when she takes on new or renewed interest in creative outlets.
It was a pleasure to spend time with Whitney after more than five years of conversing through email and on LinkedIn. She was a major source of inspiration for me when I started blogging, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunities she offered when she published one of my first posts on her website, and a follow up post a few years later.
Recognized as one of the 50 leading business thinkers in the world (Thinkers50), Whitney Johnson is an expert on disruptive innovation and personal disruption; specifically, a framework which she codifies in the critically acclaimed book Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work and in her latest book Build an “A” Team: Play To Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve. (Harvard Business Press, 2018). She is also the author of Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen When You Dare to Dream
She developed her proprietary framework and diagnostics after having cofounded the Disruptive Innovation Fund with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen. This framework is complemented by a deep understanding of how executives create and destroy value, having spent nearly a decade as an Institutional Investor ranked equity analyst on Wall Street.
In addition to her work as a speaker and advisor, Whitney is one of Marshall Goldsmith's original cohort of 25 for the #100 Coaches Project, is a coach for Harvard Business School's Executive Education program, frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review, is a Linkedin influencer, and hosts the weekly Disrupt Yourself Podcast. You can follow her on Twitter at @johnsonwhitney.
Our Culture, and How It Colors Our Communication
Using Stories to Uncover Our Deeper Connections
We know innately that when we find things in common with each other, we forge deeper connections, but how do we do that with intention and true curiosity? And how do we make this the first part of communication, the priority, so our discussions don’t immediately devolve into defensiveness and hostility?
Zach and I believe that if we understand our own perspectives, where they come from, what we’re reading to bring us to certain conclusions, and why we trust the resources we trust, we could make a start toward better understanding and appreciation for others’ perspectives.
One key to starting those conversations is simply finding common ground, and that can be found in culture. During our conversation in this podcast, we discuss a less traditional definition of culture; lifestyle culture. Are you a dog person? A cat person? Are you part of the mountain biking culture? Each of us can live in many different lifestyle cultures, which makes it much easier to find common ground.
Zach Messler knows a lot about communication strategy, and he uses own cultural commonalities to strengthen his work.
Connect with Zach on LinkedIn, and be sure to check out his website to learn more about how he can help you develop your messages, your content, to be clear and compelling!
From Zach’s website:
I help entrepreneurs know what to say and how to say it so they make a bigger impact on the world…and their wallets.
So, yeah. I’m on a mission to help entrepreneurs find relevance…and revenue.
An Unlikely Foundation for Optimism
Some Stories Teach Us the Wrong Lessons - At First
When she was a teenager, Jennifer Heflin overheard a conversation between her parents that gave her the impression the only way to succeed in business is to be aggressive, unkind, and ruthless.
That was the story she told herself as she completed her MBA at Wharton, and started her career on Wall Street. It stuck with her so deeply that she left Wall Street because she simply didn't have that cutthroat attitude and the environment didn't work for her.
As she started to process her career, and focused on mindfulness and self-reflection, she realized that the culture she experienced was just one perspective of the business world. Her awakening moment came to her in the early morning on a beautiful spring day: It doesn't have to be that way.
Jennifer Heflin is a personal development coach with a focus on meditation, mindfulness, emotional mastery and empowerment. She is also the founder of Angels Evolution, a company on a mission to bring personal growth to the business world. You can find Jennifer’s podcast, Embracing Mastery, on iTunes, Spreaker, SoundCloud and YouTube.